


Moonlight

by Melancholyevenings



Category: Twilight (Movies), Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bloodsinger, College, Demetri is in love, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fanfiction, Fantasy, Human/Vampire Relationship, I am a softie for the Twilight Universe stfu, Vampires, Volturi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-14 14:01:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 84,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29419806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melancholyevenings/pseuds/Melancholyevenings
Summary: Ellia Brooks, accompanied by an aura of compassion and love, gentleness and intelligence. Shortly after her senior year ends, she finds herself preparing to travel to Italy, readying for a year meant to be full of education and passion. Rather, she finds herself lost in the moonlight of her lover, something she had never prepared to anticipate. Stuck in a crossroads between destiny and her own ambitions, Ellia must navigate the trials and pains of having her bloodsinger in the palm of her hand, a term she never even knew existed.
Relationships: Demetri (Twilight)/Original Character(s), Demetri (Twilight)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 11





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> This story was originally published on Quotev, in April of 2020. Shortly thereafter, I also published the story into Wattpad, and now, in February of 2021, am also publishing this story on ao3. This would be due to Wattpads cut down on "mature" material, and although my story contains little-none of that, I think it would be best if the story found itself here just incase. Thank you all so much, and so much love.

Summer 2014.

Rochester, New York. 

This chapter was written whilst listening to Ribs by Lorde. I believe that listening to that song as you read will help enhance the experience. 

The wind is nonexist around me. The sky remains dark, the moonlight filtering through the trees, illuminating the gentle stream that lay in front of us. Tonight, it stays still. The ground below me feels soft, the leftover rain from earlier falling amongst us from the leaves above. 

Eden lets a deep breath escape her lips, my eyesight instinctually darting across the surface of the water to her figure. 

She’s found herself sitting on a stone, lifting up her legs to remove her shoes and socks. I smile immediately. ‘Never one to stop moving.’ I think to myself. I take a few steps, sitting down on a rock nearby, repeating her motions. 

“Don’t want to stop and reflect upon the beauty?” I ask her, my eyes barely looking up while I untie my shoes, setting them next to my bag. 

“You and your never-ending search for the beauty in everything, I swear,” Eden lets a laugh fall from her mouth, shaking her head slightly. “No, I am not quite in the mood for an artsy-finding-myself kind of night. I would rather smoke a cigarette and forget that life is happening.” She’s up from her rock now, slowly stepping into the water.

“Oh my god,” I laugh right back at her. “You literally _sound_ like an artsy-finding-yourself cliche character from a John Green book.” I stand up, racing over to Eden to give her a light shove. She stumbles only slightly. 

“You absolute bitch!” Eden says, all while a smile engulfs her face. “Okay, maybe I was trying to sound slightly cliche on that one. But, you can’t look at me and tell me that you didn’t love Looking For Alaska.” She raises her eyebrow, stepping further into the stream, the water now reading halfway up her calf. 

“Yeah, if you’re in eighth grade pretending that you know everything the world has to offer.” I retort back, my body instantly matching her movements. We stand side by side, her hand reaching for mine. I allow for her to grab it, giving her a gentle squeeze. 

“It’s hard to believe we’ll be leaving in a few months,” she finally says. “I’m not ready to lose these kinds of moments yet.” I let our hands fall, moving mine up to her forearm, gently forcing our bodies to face each other. 

I stop and stare for a moment. In the moonlight, Eden’s coppery hair shines even more beautiful than it does in direct sunlight. Her eyes appeared glazed over, and I reach up to gently place my other hand on her cheekbone, stroking my thumb over it gently. Eden wasn't a traditional kind of beautiful, but neither was I. Just beautiful enough to have an on-and-off boyfriend, but never enough to be always invited to the parties you heard about on Monday. The kind that made you insecure on some days, and other days feel as though you were the most stunning in the room. It helped to unite us together on the days where it felt as though the world was against us, planning for our demise through self-hatred. 

“Stop worrying so much,” I speak quietly, knowing that both of us are far too deep in our emotions right now to fully comprehend what words escape our mouth. Senior year passed by in a blur, just like people always say it will. Prom came and passed without second thought, and suddenly here we were. Three months away from moving across the globe from each other. “I know it’ll seem impossible for a little bit, but you will always have my phone number. Just because I’m in Europe doesn’t mean I’ll disappear forever.” I force a smile onto my lips, knowing how much Eden needs it.

“It won’t be the same,” She speaks back, allowing the air to fall flat between us for a few moments. In this instant, I can sense her pain. “You know that.” Her voice cracks, and I reach my thumb up to the corner of her eye, sensing the tear that is about to fall. It streams down my thumb, the air drying it before it reaches my wrist. I watch as it falls, my eyes moving back up her to hers seconds later.

“Yeah,” I finally breathe out, having to shake my head. “I know it won’t. You’ll obviously be getting head from so many guys you won’t be able to call me. I’m going to have to chase you down when I return for holidays.” Her voice catches in her mouth as she tries to laugh, followed by a few coughs as she tries to regain her breath and composure. I move my body away from hers, taking a few steps deeper into the water, knowing that I had to be reaching the deepest part. The water gently ran over my knees, the rest of my body being covered by the warm summer air.

“You love to ruin the moment, don’t you?” Eden stayed behind me, a smile only taking over one corner of her mouth. I smiled back, forcing my cheeks to press up towards my eyes. “I’m pretty sure you’ll find a stunning foreign man before I can even get a boy to keep his eyes on me.”

“I don’t want us to spend summer thinking about how old we’re getting,” I tell her, trying to ignore the second half of her words. “Can you imagine that? Ending every beautiful note upon a sour one, knowing that we’ll have to leave soon. Neither one of us could want that. _I_ don’t want that. I’m not going to lose my best friend three months before I even go to Italy. Reflecting upon what’s happening will only make it all come much sooner.” I sigh.

I force myself to stop, mentally, just for a few moments. Italy. Saying it out loud makes it seem even more real than I already know it is. The Università Cattolica del Sacro Cuore. I knew from the moment my eyes looked upon the building of its campus that it was where I was meant to be. Before my brain found the reasons to back up my heart, I had already convinced myself I was going to study there. Beyond the campus, being able to study international relations internationally seemed like the only way to truly emerge yourself in what you wanted to do for the rest of your life. Despite having to move away from my mother and my few friends, I knew I had to go. Passing up an opportunity like this was impossible in the eyes of my eighteen year old, mildly naive brain. 

“Okay.” Is all Eden has to say. We both drop the prior conversation, slowly walking back towards the patchy grass and rock laden area where we dropped our shoes. We both sit on the same rock, her legs extending farther past mine. We sit in silence, finally both gazing upon the water and silence amongst us, numbly slipping our shoes on, socks held in hands. 

It had to be nearly midnight now, the moon reaching higher amongst us. I watch as the water flows softly down the rocks we were just walking on and around. On a night like this, with the gentle rain and lack of wind, the world felt so still. It almost felt like a movie scene, right at the moment where the main character was about to find themselves. 

“Maybe you were right,” Eden speaks, killing all of the empty thoughts lying between us. “It isn't too horrible to reflect upon the beauty of this all, even if just for a few seconds.” The ghost of a smile appears on my lips, as I stand up, reaching my hand out for her’s.

“C’mon, let’s go before you tell me you have to smoke a cigarette to feel something again.” Eden lets out a laugh, taking my hand immediately as we begin our walk towards my house, searching for the glow of my room's light in the darkness around us.


	2. Chapter One

Summer 2014.

Rochester, New York. 

“You ready to go?” Eden says the second her foot hits the interior of my car. No matter how many days we spend together, she always finds a way to greet me with a smile. Even on her bad days, (and the days so bad that we ended up only hanging out for thirty minutes before needing alone time) there was always that smile. It took over her face, all the way from her chin up to the highest point of her cheekbones, forming crows feet in the corner of her eyes. Despite her slightly crooked front tooth—which reminded us both that braces were lovely until you never wore your retainer afterwards and had to deal with that aftermath—her smile always found its way front and center. It was a smile you had to at least try to match. 

“When would I not be? Where to today?” I ask her, carefully pulling my car out of her driveway, heading towards our normal path. Right, left, another right at the stop sign, two more lefts, then straight until we decided it was the right time to turn. Always the same path, never changing. At this point in our friendship, it wasn’t odd for us to just make plans without having a clue what we would end up doing. Some days it was a movie, others it was sitting in a Target parking lot until one in the morning, hoping my mom wouldn’t catch us having to sneak into the house that late. Although, even on the nights she caught us, she never said much more beyond making sure we were safe, and that no one had drugged us. It was impossible not to be thankful for that much, in the eyes of a teenager who really just wanted to break a few rules at least once or twice. 

“I’m not sure,” She begins, starting to attach her phone to my radio, hoping that everything would connect properly. Some days my car loved me, others, not so much. “How about let's just hope the music works and we can drive around for a few hours. Classic mildly small town style. I know I can’t sleep over tonight, which I know you and your mother are just so saddened by as I get the pleasure of working at hell itself tomorrow morning.” I glance my eyes over to her, gagging my mouth. Working hours on end just to end up being a broke college student anyways. Truly, it did not seem like the dream that the cliche movies always wanted to paint it out to be. Lies, all of it. 

“Only if you promise to pay for food while I pay for gas.” I tell her, letting her music slowly fill up my car as the radio finally connects. Eden always had a song for something: a song to make you cry, to make you scream the lyrics, and a song that made you feel as though you were right in the middle of a movie scene, trying to figure your whole life out. Trying, but never quite getting there. That seemed to be her theme tonight. 

We end up finding ourselves pulled over on the side of a road, near a pond. It wasn’t our traditional stream that we loved to visit, but the moonlight glow wasn’t covered by any trees. It was simply there, existing, all by itself. It bounced off the water perfectly, forming the straight kind of line through the water, right up towards the moon. The water fanned out the line of the light, appearing like a painter fumbled with their paintbrush to place a few watered down strokes to mix colors together. We decided to opt for staying in the car, out of the way of the rest of the road, but not quite comfortable enough to exit. Really, it was more out of the feeling of  _ really _ not wanting to be kidnapped anytime tonight. In the theme of being two eighteen year olds, constantly terrified of some kind of untimely death, you could never be too careful. 

“Ellia, I swear you have the biggest fascination with water. I’m seriously concerned for you. What if you end up driving your car into an ocean because you just  _ had to  _ see the closest body over water?” Eden turns the music down, letting a laugh escape her mouth. I roll my eyes, turning the music right back up to where it was prior. 

“And Eden, I’m seriously concerned that your obsession with  _ One Direction _ is going to get you killed,” I allow the sarcasm to roll off my mouth. “C’mon are we back in freshman year or something now? I may love water, but I’m not an idiot. Very much unlike your freshman self.” I cock my eye at her, my eyes shifting back towards the water again.

“Okay, I will keep that one noted.” Is all Eden says, finding a way to abruptly close the conversation. That was one of my least favorite things about Eden. Despite her happiness, and her constant smiles, her mood could shift so easily. It felt like walking on eggshells if her mood began to waiver. I never tried to blame it on anything other than hormones and being an angsty teen, but I found it hard to not find all the faults within myself. Maybe if I had stayed quiet there, or spoke up when I simply knew something was wrong. Nevertheless, I loved her. A sister kind of bond, with all the annoyances and double the love for each other. 

My mind, now that my eyes are completely on the water, begins to wander off. Water was always there, a sense of peace and purity following nearby it when the rest of the world seemed so chaotic. The moonlight that always found a way to bounce off of it could make anyone’s features seem so angelic, even if they had committed a thousand different crimes. Internally, I prayed that I would be able to find a body of water in Italy that would form my new constant. It sounded so trivial to say it out loud, so I never voiced it when I talked with Eden or our friend group when explaining everything that I wanted in a university. Living so close to the stream that Eden and I frequented, on the nights I struggled to study for AP tests, or when the silly drama from sophomore year piled up, I sat by the water. My feet sitting in the shallowest part, eyes watching as the water flowed lower and lower through the trees. The forest never felt dangerous, or terrifying. It was pure calmness, in its highest regard. I knew the moment I was able, I would go searching in Italy for something to match the same feeling. If I find myself unable to find something quite like it, I had already fully convinced myself I’d end up completely mad before it was even December. 

* * *

I drop Eden off. She smiles again on her way out, this time like a ghost. Sometimes, our nights would end like that. Both of us having to realize that summer wasn’t meant to last forever, no matter how hard we wished for it. At this point, now only a month and a half away from me leaving for what seemed like forever, most nights we spend would end like that, I can’t even lie. I longed for the time I would refer to them as ‘sometimes’. Now it all felt like a vague memory, every new day feeling like a brand new book, rather than chapters adding onto our life. New characters desperately trying to remember their past life with very little hope. I knew that we were both trying to find the best ways to spend it, taking a thousand photos to later frame and look back upon, but the feeling was always there.

Life had begun to feel almost like constantly accompanied by urgency. Like mail that was marked with a huge red stamp, the anxiety always followed so close behind. We had to complete everything we ever wanted to, like checking off your lifelong bullet list in the span of a week. It began to feel tiring, the feeling of never stopping madness. I was tired of feeling like a race against an hourglass that was meant to run out anyways. 

I take the long way home. The backroads are empty. I turn my radio off, something that normally made me feel eerie. Rather, it simply makes me feel more alone. I reach over to crank up Eden’s window, my eyes staying on the road. It was like muscle memory at this point, I swear she could never remember to crank the window or lock the door on her way out. 

I listen to the wind, the air, the late night creatures, the people talking in their backyards, the couples yelling at each other. The sounds bring little comfort. I zone out far too many times, trying desperately to focus my brain on anything. All I hear is sounds, and all my brain processes is numbness. Without even knowing how I ended up there, I’m in my driveway.

I park my car, making the way inside my house feeling like a half version of myself. My dog greets me at the top of the stairs, and I find it impossible to not smile right back at her. Her tail wags so much it bangs over and over against the wall. I hush her quietly, petting down her head all the way to her tail. She shifted her body right back against mine, pleading for even more pets. As I remove my hand, she lets out a baby yelp, her tail going back to band against the wall. 

“Quiet, pumpkin, you’ll wake up Mom.” I whisper as I lean down to her ear, which was nearly level with my hip. I turn the flashlight on from my phone and walk through the hallway, propping open my door. I leave my phone on my dresser, then knock gently on my mother’s bedroom door before entering. 

She’s passed out, to no one's surprise. Long hours at the office, followed by long nights at home trying to plan her next meeting. All the while trying to spend the most amount of time with me, taking care of the dog, and finding ways to spend time with her immediate family as well. I frequently question if my sense of urgency came from her lifestyle trying to rub directly off on me. At heart she wanted the best for me, but it always seemed like her method of getting me there was through anxiety inducing nerves about my future. 

I place a gentle kiss on her forehead, her eyes half opening to greet me with no words. She mumbles some version of her hello, then closes her eyes right afterwards. On my way out of the room, I let Molly jump onto her bed, curling into a ball right at the end of my mom’s feet. I smile at the thought, and pure loyalty they had to each other. The door shuts with little noise behind me. 

Despite hoping, and internally praying that I would manage by tonight without the feeling coming to attack me, the second I get into my room I know those efforts are fruitless. I shut the room to my door, keep the light off, and find myself slowly sliding down the wall to sit. 

It’s times like these where the thoughts slowly begin to creep in. Not always all at once, most times it felt like a slow pang that traveled up your fingertips, through your forearms, making their way to your cheekbones and mouth. Those were always the first to begin the quiver. The slight nudge of your lip was all it would ever take. The tears spill flawlessly, encasing your full face, running down your neck, piling onto your chest as you lay in darkness, hoping it’ll all stop. But it feels like it goes on for hours, the tears creating their own roadmap, painting the full vision of sadness and pain on the rest of your body. The legs come up, the arms right to wrap around the knees, the head coming down next. Emotion after emotion, the numbness around the corner. Crying, without having any idea of why exactly they all pour out. But you let them come, for it's better than letting the numbness take hold, leaving you completely out in the open for all to see. 

That’s where I was. In my own pile of tears. Completely, utterly, alone. I couldn’t stop thinking back to the weeks ago at the stream with Eden. Although I may not have been able to find all the words I needed then, I have them now. All the things we could have reflected on, rather than trying to brush them away. I’d punch myself in that moment if I could, trying to force myself to think about the “now”. The “now” didn't have to be the current moment and present. The “now” could be everything we are and were, everything that made us who we were. The “now” was everything that Eden and I had shared together, and I just let those feelings slip away, trying to force them down to create bigger and better ones. God, even thinking about how long ago that night was makes everything happening so much more painful. 

Eventually, the tears finally find a way to dry. I slowly push my legs away from my chest, using the wall as my method of standing up properly. I reach for the light, my eyesight making contact with my blotchy face, bloodshot eyes, and disheveled hair. I force myself to smile, hoping that the endorphins release whatever pain my body just decided to feel tonight. I make my way over to my mirror, grabbing a hair tie and shrugging out of my clothes from the night. 

Forcing myself to make my bed before getting into it, I glance around at all in front of me. The maps covering every wall of my room, with dreamcatchers, fake flowers, and photos of me and my friends around them. The few photos of my soon-to-be home, the last post-it-note that my mother wrote for me attached to the white board standing right next to my door. A few messy notes scrawled out, detailing everything I wanted to get done within the week, preparing for everything ahead. I make contact with my mirror one more time, face still just as blotchy despite taking breath after breath and breath. ‘One more smile,’ I tell myself as I pull my bedding slowly over my body, noting my phone still across the room sitting on my dresser. ‘Shit.’ I mumble, getting out of bed to attach it to my charger, texting Eden to let her know that I was home safely, even if she had never even asked. Best friend unspoken rules. 

I allow myself to pull the covers over my head, feeling like a child hiding from the monsters that terrified me in my dreams. Rather, it feels as though they are hiding under it with me, breathing in all the same air. ‘You’ll be fine,’ I repeat internally. ‘In a month and a half, you’ll find something in Italy to be madly in love with, and you’ll be studying everything you could possibly want. It’s simply a matter of finding a way of making it there.’

The sleep comes with little ease. 

* * *

My body wakes with the sense that I feel as though I’m falling. I rub my eyes, feeling the leftover mascara that still cakes them. Through my curtains, I can see the tiniest bit of sunlight starting to filter through my room. The sound of my mom’s coffee maker beginning to run, letting me know without having to glance at my phone that it's way too early for me to start my day. Leaning on the edge of my bed, I tug one curtain out of the way to let some kind of sunlight through, subconsciously knowing that it would disrupt any sleep I would try to get afterwards. Running my hand through my hair, I pick out the hair tie that’s nearly fallen out at this point anyways.

My eyes are shut for what feels like twenty minutes before I decide to give up. Getting out of bed, I make my way over to my vanity to rub the makeup off my face. In the midst of all the noise I make from stumbling around, my mom quietly knocks before propping the door open just enough to show her face. She smiles, and I know she’s finding a way to acknowledge my swollen eyes without pushing too far.

“I’ll see you after work, yeah?” Is all she manages instead of even saying anything about them, and I spot her coffee cup in her hand. Early day at work, per usual. I nod, and she walks into my room, heels not quite on yet. She kisses the top of my head, looking at our reflection in the mirror. “Don’t forget to double check the airline tickets today, okay? And maybe take a look at taxi fare to get to where you’ll be sleeping every night. You can never be prepared too early.” She exits as quickly as she entered, Molly trotting into my room right after she forgets to shut the door. She makes her way on my bed without second thought, finding a way to automatically go back to sleep.

“I had to have gotten it from her, right?” I ask into the open air. Molly’s eyes barely open, almost like she’s trying to acknowledge me. “Yeah, I know I had to have, just like I was thinking last night.” I turn back to my vanity, trying to pull a hairbrush through my hair with lackluster motions. 

I breathe one more time, just for the sake of it. A month and a half, I remind myself, a month and a half. 


	3. Chapter Two

Late Summer into early Autumn 2014. 

Rochester, New York.

Two more days. Just two more days. Two days from now my mother and I would be boarding a plane on our way to Italy, my room supplies and other assorted items shipping close behind. The nerves seemed to overtake my body every single morning. Anxiety had been ingrained into my being, like the feeling right before taking a huge exam. The pit that grew in your stomach, overtaking the rest of your existence, almost as if it was trying to consume you completely. Sometimes if you allowed it to sit there long enough, a warm chill would engulf the rest of your body, giving you chills moments after. Everytime I would wake from my sleep with a jolt, and the nerves would trail behind me for the first few hours of my day. My favorite method of coping was to lie in a ball, forcing my eyes shut, gently rocking myself side to side. Always finding a way of convincing myself that I was being silly minutes after, I would force myself to get up and accomplish something, even if it was the smallest task. And many days followed where my actions appeared normal, working for several hours getting the same exact jobs done in a timely manner, otherdays getting together with friends and laughing for hours about the same trivial matters. But hidden behind it all was the pit in my stomach, the one that greeted my every morning. God, I prayed that the first day I would awaken in Italy, it would disappear, like a silly magic trick. Mentally I was aware that it was stupid to harbour such thoughts, but I hoped in some way that if I would awaken without any form of anxiety, I would know that Italy was truly where I was meant to be. But I knew I had to push that away, for my brain had to become much stronger than my heart. 

After shoving away the urges to lay on my floor all day, I prepare to get ready for my last day with Eden. I knew tomorrow I would be stuck packing late into the night, right before my mom and I were picked up by the limo. Her never ending need to be the most extravagant person in the room showcased itself highly when traveling. Eden worked tomorrow morning, and I began to become more and more grateful that I would have the last day completely to myself. Whatever emotions decided to awaken with me tomorrow I would be able to deal with by myself, and I knew that having to work through them myself would aid me more and more as I adjusted to the loneliness in Italy. 

My phone rings quietly in the midst of my shower, interrupting the music coming out of my speaker. Glancing at the screen, I note Eden’s text message amongst a few from my mother. In recent weeks she had opted more for text messages over post-it notes. I don’t think I would have ever told her, but I thoroughly enjoyed the little post-it notes every morning, even if they held chores for me to do throughout the day. They all had been stuck in a mason jar, placed in my memory box at the top of my closet. 

Rushing through the rest of my shower routine, I respond to Eden’s text letting her know that I’d be leaving my house within the half hour. I never minded driving her everywhere, knowing that she couldn't afford a car at this stage in her life. There was no way to blame her, and I found that it was a good way to remind myself of how blessed I was in my current household and funds. We frequently made jokes about her having to pay for some gas, but we both knew I would never accept any kind of money from her. All of her money and half of her parents' life savings were going to their only child’s college fund, and it would be far too greedy for me to take any of that away. All of the babysitting, working two jobs at once, sleepless nights all while trying to fit school and friends in? It would be selfish of me to accept any money from that. Without telling her, I had promised that if one day I was blessed enough to be as financially stable as my mother that I would have to find a way to repay her for all the memories and experiences she had given me in my life so far. Money couldn't heal everything, but it was one of the only ways I had learned that I could give back to someone. 

Arriving at Eden’s house sometime around eleven, she rushs out of the house much quicker than normal, a small Christmas bag in her hands. Once again, the second we make eye contact, I am engulfed in one of the biggest smiles she’s ever given me. An acknowledgement of one of the last ones I would be able to witness for the next several months. A pang hits in my stomach, my smile not even being able to reach half of what hers could ever be. Time feels slow as I try to relive that smile for the next few seconds before she’s in my car, bag reaching out to me.

“I love the bag,” I tell her, as one hand reaches for it, the other goes beneath my seat to push my seat backwards so I can get comfortable while I unwrap whatever is awaiting me. “It’s very you.” 

“Hey, you know a poor girl gets what a poor girl can get,” She replies, a laugh escaping her lips. “Just open it.” She reassures me, nodding excitedly while I go to softly pull at the white tissue paper that decorates the top and sides of the bag. 

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble, a smile tugging at the edge of my lips anyways. On her good days, Eden could take any kind of joke. I was beyond glad to see that today and tonight would be a day like that. At the bottom of the bag sat a small box, similarly looking like a reused gift card box. Red and green in all of its glory. 

Eden takes the bag back from me after I pull the small box, setting it upon my lap.

“You know that I was perfectly okay without having you spend your money on me, right? Like, seriously. Don’t think that you ever have to get me anything.” Neglecting to lift the lid off quite yet, I make direct eye contact with her, one eyebrow furrowing downward. I hated everything about her spending this money on me. 

“Are you being serious?” She retorts back, pushing the little box closer to my chest. “You really thought that I would let you be gone, a half day of a plane ride away from me, and that I wouldn't be getting you a gift for it? Think of it as me repaying you for all of the constant driving you do for me.” Her eyes encourage me as I pull the lid off of the box, my own enlarging at what present she decided to gift me. 

In the most classic best friend fashion, the necklace that she chose for me dangles inside of the box. My mouth drops as I grab the small circle diamond and feel it between my fingers. At the right angle, it sparkles slightly when in direct contact with the sunshine. The necklace is silver, almost looking like a slighter larger form of the earrings I had given Eden for her birthday back at the end of the school year. The small diamond hangs by itself at the very bottom, sliding side to side on the chain as I fumble with it. I told Eden about this necklace right after I had given her the earrings. I had originally told her that I wanted to give her those, but knew that the earrings, which she could secretly hide behind her coppery hair, were much more her fashion. She must have noted the look in my eyes, the pure glow that I knew I had showcased when telling her about how stunning and simple it was. Much less showy than what my mother wore to the office every day. As I looked up to meet her eyes, I noted that she was wearing the matching earrings right in front of me. 

“So?” She asks me, pulling the box out of my hands as she fumbles to undo the small knot in the back that made sure it didn't slip completely out.

“I can’t even tell you how much I love you.” Is all I manage while instinctually turning around, lifting my hair into a makeshift ponytail so she can slip the necklace on me flawlessly.

“I totally knew it!” She exclaims, the little diamond falling onto my chest moments afterwards as she snaps it right into place. I turn back to her, automatically going to reach across the console to give her a hug. Actions spoke much louder than words did in our relationship, and I knew that these actions of affections were not given to her enough at home. Never a dangerous situation, just not a comfortable one. It was the very least I could do for her right now. 

“Now, I know you're going to laugh at me for this one.” I speak as we pull away, reaching into the back of my car for the small white bag, decorated with small golden swirls, the color of the tissue paper going to match. It looked fit for a wedding dinner present. Handing the bag over to her, I place the box she gave me back in its original home, now placing that bag where I just found hers. 

She tears through the paper, pulling out a box similar in fashion to what I found my necklace in. She looks up at me, a giggle escaping her mouth as she pulls off the lid.

“Now this, this is fucking  _ grand _ .” She laughs while she speaks, handing the box back to me while she repeats the motions I did just moments ago. I do the same for her, and she turns back around with a smile just like earlier.

We laugh with each other as we both glance at our now matching necklaces.

* * *

Eden gives me directions to every place that she decided to plan for today. It starts off simple, with the Target that we normally visit. This time instead of staying inside of the car and laughing at absolutely nothing, we decide to travel inside. She grabs a pop for the road, while I reach for a carbonated flavored water. Much superior than plain old sparkling water, in my own opinion.

Next, she directs me to our old high school, urging me out of the car. The sun was starting to reach over the middle of the sky, letting us both know it was nearing around two pm without having to glance at a phone or clock. We both sit on the hood of my car, being careful to not apply too much pressure.

“I’m not so sure if I’ll miss it here or not,” I speak out to her, my eyes darting across the parking lot from the brick building to the football and baseball fields. “I guess I really only had an average high school experience. A few average boyfriends, too much stress, some friend drama sprinkled in for the good times.” Eden laughs at the last acknowledgement, us both knowing that sophmore year was definitely something. 

“Yeah, me too.” She replies, us only spending a few more moments looking around before getting right back in the car to listen to her poorly given directions, resulting in far too many sharp turns and laughs that echoed outside of my vehicle.

Over the course of the next few hours we travel between movie theaters, gas stations, our favorite places to eat out (snacking on way too many different items), and our favorite place to study: the library. Through it all we share different memories of old friends, current friends, far too many boys, and revealing little information that we neglected to let each other throughout the years.

Both of us knew what the last place we would visit would be. After leaving the library, Eden didn't even have to give me directions. Simply, she turned the radio up a little higher, letting a hand float in the wind outside the car window. I park the car in the driveway, both of us walking directly behind my house, making our way down the gentle hill. 

With very little words, we both slip off our shoes, walking right into the stream. The rocks beneath my feet feel comforting, the air around my legs even warmer than it was when we last visited. It was the most ideal day for something like this. Just hot enough to push the emotions out through every pore until you couldn't feel them anymore, the sweat dripping down your legs right into the water. 

“I don’t think either one of us needs to even say how much this is going to hurt,” She says, taking my hand just like she always did. And like the usual, I squeeze right back. “But I guess I could at least start. Thank you for everything these last ten or so years. When we met, it almost felt like being able to find a soulmate. Maybe not a romantic kind, but at least the biggest platonic version you can form. I know things are going to be different when we both return in a few months. And that's okay, that's both of us growing. But I hope you know the memories from the last few years, and especially this summer together, will always be there right on my brain. These are the stories I’ll tell my children one day, the ones that I can tell all the friends I make at college when they ask about my high school experience. You’ve changed my life in the most impactful way, and I know we normally don't say it often enough, but I am so grateful for you.” In the moonlight, I catch a few tears falling down her face. The emotions come right with them, never missing a beat.

“Eden, you never have to say thank you for anything. We’ve been each other's rock since the very beginning of time, and I know that whatever force placed us both here knew that one day our atoms would find each other. We were meant to find each other at just the right time, and teach each other how to live freely. I do have to say thank you for helping me realize my privilege, for showing me I could be more than money, and allowing for my heart to grow twenty times larger than it was before we first talked. I don’t think I could ever properly tell you how much you truly mean to me, and will continue to mean to me no matter what happens in Italy.” I spill my feelings out too, my arm going to reach behind her back, pulling our sides together.

We stay in silence for some time, allowing the tears to be washed away in the stream, flowing towards both of our new futures. 

We both walk wordlessly up the hill back into my house. In our usual fashion, we pass out on my couch in the basement, body limbs slightly intertwined with each other even though we could both sleep in separate areas. Moments like these could never be replicated, but I knew that they, just like Eden had said earlier, would stay with me no matter where I traveled, no matter who I met. 

In the morning she is gone, but she leaves a little post-it note for me to find. I smile just at the thought, and go to slip this one in my bag to keep with me. 

* * *

As usual with my mother’s constant need to be over prepared, we arrived at the airport far too many hours early. Although I was aware it gave her a sense of relief, it was impossible to question what had been so ingrained into the culture in America to feel as though it was a need to be so early everywhere. The culture of being able to never stop working towards some kind of death anyways. From the time one was born, it was working towards something. A competetion of whose child would walk first, talk first, get straight A’s, be on a varsity sport, be chosen as Student of the Year, who would end with a 5.0 GPA. After school it only got worse. Who is in the top university? Who studied abroad and gained more real life knowledge? Who graduated in three years and not four? Who got the job at the best law firm, or office, or hospital? Then, who had the most vacation houses, the most comfortable lifestyle, the most money? And it all ended with the funeral, and who had the most to come and visit them in their afterlife. The most flowers, most people with tears streaming down their face. It all added to what I had hoped to leave behind here. In Italy, internatally I knew I was searching for some kind of break. A quick pause button, where I would be able to express my personality, rather than greeting everyone with my SAT scores. In some senses, I was aching to learn that Italy itself was my new stream. That everything I found in the water here was my whole life in Italy. A new break. Completely and utterly. But in order to do so, I knew that I would have to try and break my internal sense of urgency and competition, and to realize that life isn't about reaching the forever next milestone. Everything isn't a race. 

Without realizing how quickly the hours passed, it was suddenly time to board. My mother, forever finding a way to pull some strings, was able to have us board as one of the first few passengers, shortly after those with a  _ real  _ reason to board early had. As I had always been taught, I knew I had to love her, but truly she wasn't the best at acknowledging our privilege for simply being wealthy. The more time I spent with her, the more her ignorance had leaked out. 

I glance at my phone, leaving my friend’s group chat one final text, then separately sending a message to Eden. Our relationship was much differently than the casualness of the other people we had hung out with. The bond that had more years to form between us was far stronger. Turning my phone on airplane mode, I lean against my preferred window seat, my eyes glancing at the pavement below the plane. 

Here I finally was, leaving everything behind. Everything about it felt like some kind of cliche dream. Something that I would rudely awaken from. I pinch myself lightly, reminding myself that these next few months until I came home to visit my mother was real, and just as vivid as everything that had happened in the months prior. This was about to become my new reality. 

Forcing myself out of my thoughts, I reach underneath into my bag statshed directly at my feet and tug  _ Gone With The Wind _ out, a few miscellaneous pens and tissues coming out with it. I stuff those right back to where they were, leaning back against the seats. With the eleven hour plane ride ahead of us, I knew I would have to find multiple ways to pass it. And considering that I was about to immerse myself into one of the most culturally rich and ancient places, I figured it was as good as time as ever to brush up on some of the more classic reads, even if they were more American-based. 

My mom taps my arm, my eyes glancing upwards from the first few sentences I had just started to read. 

“You want me to order you a water or Coke?” She asks, already going to place one earbud in as she pulled out her computer to start work once devices were allowed.

“A water would be fine, thank you.” I tell her, leaning my head against her shoulder for merely a moment before relaxing into my chair once more, allowing the plane to take away any worries that plagued me in my home country. 


	4. Chapter Three

Autumn 2014, over the span of a full week.

Milan, Italy. (Campus of Catholic University of the Sacred Heart) 

My mother and I arrived the Sunday prior to orientation, which was set to begin on Thursday. She had requested the following two weeks off from work, first to aid in moving me, then to finally spend some time by herself. An official empty nester, one might say. She didn't plan on staying in Italy, she told me, but knew that she would stay in Europe. I liked to believe that she was staying close enough to help me if needed, but knew that I needed my own space to completely blossom. The older I got the more I appreciated her approach to parenting. Being there as a net to catch me if I fell, but allowing me to fall, even if it hurt like hell. Over the years, it has shaped me into a much more independent human being.

Adjusting to the time change was the worst part the first couple days, my afternoons having to shift into evenings. After those days had passed, my mother and I found that we had two days full days before orientation would start on Thursday, leaving us the free time to travel amongst the city and try to gather as much culture as two New York born and raised American’s could. My school supplies were currently being held in the nearest storage unit, only about a fifteen minute drive to campus, revealing one of the first things shocking to me about Milan. In my classic, slightly ignorant fashion, I was surprised that storage units had even existed in other countries. The concept made sense when I reflected upon it, but the idea also seemed so American, reminding me of shows like Storage Wars or American Pickers. Those were the little things I knew I would end up missing, the trashy TV that greeted me anytime I couldn't find anything more intriguing to do with my time. 

Tuesday morning I am awakened by my mother, who already appears completely ready for the day. Thinking about it, I rarely saw her without her makeup done in some way, outfits fit for the ideal business women. Rather than her traditional dark colored blazer and ironed to a tee dress pants, she's sporting a floral yellow dress that reaches her knees. As much as  _ I _ was ready to get away, I knew she needed it twice as bad. Other than her days off--which most times she treated as half days--some kind of work always being done on her computer; work was her complete life. It was everything she had struggled with since she was my age, desperately trying to prove herself as an independent woman, who didn't need someone else to explain to her the complexions of life. She had already lived all the way through them, and if you asked, she may even tell you a few stories about them. 

“I know you won't be shocked by this information, but I planned  _ quite  _ the day for us today. Lots of walking and sightseeing involved! I want to leave in about thirty minutes for our first reservation of the day, so you may want to consider getting out of bed for once,” She sits on the edge of my bed, leaning down to kiss my forehead, a half smile lingering on her face as she speaks in the usual sarcastic tone we loved giving each other. “I’m going to miss days like this with you, so I wanted to try and make these last few mean the absolute most.” She finished, fidning her own way to bring some kind of meaning back into it all.

Groggily I respond with a quiet hum back, and as she pushes herself off the bed so do I. Making my way to the bathroom, I prepare for the day ahead. Although I may not have gone for the most fashionable look like my mother opted, I wore something much nicer than I ever would back home. It almost felt like a sense of needing to show off. Show that we were different, even though I knew at heart we would blend together with all the other tourists, all searching for something larger than themselves. 

Thirty minutes later, right on time--just as she had always taught me--we make our way out of the hotel and into the city. The sun was shining brightly against our faces, and I could feel my happiness rising. Oh, the feeling of light upon one’s skin, radiating outwards for all to see. The glow and aura that accompanied it could never be parallel to another kind of beauty, especially when given by the moon. The thought brings a smile to my lips as I attempt to keep up with my mother, taking two steps for her every one, graceful in all of her glory. 

“Where to first?” I ask, slipping my sunglasses on whilst we walk. “While, after we have our brunch at Crudite Milano, I think the Naviglio Grande would be the best place to start. You’ll love it. You’ll be able to see water no matter where we go, with plenty of birds and flowers to keep us company while we walk alongside it. At this time of the year, it's meant to be beyond beautiful.” I was already lost in all of the words she spoke, knowing soon I would have to get used to the language here. I was grateful that all of my courses were in English, but having exposure to another native tongue would be beneficial to what I was hoping to accomplish one day. 

Over the span of the rest of the day and the following, my mother and I traveled amongst rivers, on boats, visiting many differing restaurants, munching on every single thing we could find, finding ways to converse with the local population, and mingling with those who already spoke English. The days were beyond fun, always ending in laughing and pointing out cute men that one of us would have to try and approach. We never did much of anything but admire and pretend as if we had the confidence to approach them,, but it allowed for us to let loose and just try to not take the last few days for advantage.

But just like that, those ended so quickly as well. 

* * *

Pushing the door open to my dorm room for the first time, I was overwhelmed with a sense of nerves, just like all the mornings of enduring them at home. Although I had talked a few times with my future roommate, the hours between our communication were long and spread out, making having meaningful discussion next to impossible. At the current moment I knew her name was Aurora and that she had originally lived in a city two hours south of Milan called Camogli. Searching it on Google, I learned that it was a very small town, population of 5,000 at best, and was located right on the coast of Italy, a great location for fishing and tourism. From an outsider, it seemed like right out of a film scene, being able to live in Italy and witness all the beautiful sights first hand. I secretly hoped that Aurora would be able to replace even a fourth of what Eden was, giving me some kind of comfort and hopefully even more tips on discovering all Italy had to offer me.

Walking in I noted that Aurora’s portion of the room was already completely full, walls decorated with photographs and what appeared to be hand drawn paintings, full of every single color of the rainbow. Whom I assumed to be Aurora turned from her spot at the desk, and instantly she was up, coming to greet me with arms wide open. Based on what I had learned over text, this had to be her. 

I gave her a gracious smile, stepping a few more paces into the dorm so my mom would have more room to place a few of my objects that we had just collected down. Placing a few of my own bags down, I return her hug, overwhelmed by the scent of her perfume--which was beyond flowery, almost like a Grandma’s, but never feeling quite heavy enough to be overbearing like a nursing home--welcoming me into her arms even more so. We both pull away, and she gives me a smile that reminds me of Eden, reminding myself that I needed to text her back as soon as I possibly could.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you,  _ Amica _ ,” She tells me, the Italian accent complementing every word that rolled over her tongue. “Amica means friend in Italian, hopefully you’ll be able to pick up a little bit of the language from me.” She laughs, head rolled back and hands up to her chest, over dramatic but so fitting to what it appeared her personality was. 

“Thank you so much,” I tell her right back, going to note my mother turning right back on her heels to go grab more bags from the rental car. “That’s my mother, feel free to call her Ms. Brooks, or whatever form of mother in your language, I’m sure it will sound much more elegant. It’s so nice to finally be able to meet you in person, your half of the room is lovely so far.” My eyes dart to her paintings, and her body follows my gaze as she walks over to the nearest one, taking it off the hook, placing it within my hands,

“If you’re interested we could always paint together! I’m always looking for more people to share my hobbies with,” I feel her eyesight on me as I fumble with the small square canvas in my hands, one finger tracing all of the vibrant reds and oranges that flowed so easily across, forming nothing obvious, but clearly poured full of emotions. She reaches her hand back to gather the painting from me, placing it neatly right back to its original home. “I suppose we should both help your mother. It’ll make the job twice as easy.”

“I would love that so much,” Noting her offer first, still glancing at the painting she just allowed me to touch. I was no artist by any means, but I knew that if one allowed you to personally touch their art, it meant they had already formed some kind of trust with you. Aurora seemed to give that away to me so freely, without even second guessing it. 

On my mother’s second way out of the dorm, Aurora and I trail closely behind. The work is done much faster, all three of us sharing a few laughs accompanied with far too many objects falling from bins and containers. In the process of unpacking all of my varied objects that seemed to lack as much personality as Aurora’s, my mother did most of the talking, asking Aurora any and all questions that she possibly could.

I go back and forth between listening to her answers and getting in touch with Eden, spilling as many details as I possibly could over text messages about the last few days, the traveling, and now my roommate. I knew that Eden would have loved Aurora, and Eden reaffirms me that her roommate hasn't been too horrible either. Hearing that settles some of my anxieties, for I feared that one of us would find a new best friend while the other was left lonely, simply looking back on all the memories and questioning where they disappeared from them. The bond would always be there, even if it didn't require constant communication.

“Ellia?” Aurora interrupts my two second moment with my thoughts, and I place my phone down onto my dresser. “Where would you like these frames of you and your friends? They’re all so very beautiful, you should really try and show them off.” I smile at her, obvious that she was trying her hardest to welcome me into a completely foreign land. Milan was simply two hours away for her, but for me this was leaving it all. The frames were some of my most important memories condensed in the easiest way possible.

I give her a rough idea of where I want them, being grateful that the dorms here were much larger than what was typical in American universities. They weren't massive, like having my own bedroom at home style, but they were more than enough and I knew I had to remind myself to be grateful for it all. ‘Privilege,’ I say internally. ‘Privilege.’ You can't complain when you get to study in Italy for the next four years of your life. It was most girls' dream where I lived, and I was simply lucky enough to turn it all into a reality. 

The next few hours pass in a blur, lots of shifting furniture and placing frames in their rightful homes. As one of the last touches, I add Eden’s bright pink post-it note behind one of the photos of us, just for me to know it was there. It reminded me of all the ones my mom had written. I smile at the thought, those moments seeming so long ago. I can't remember the last post-it note she gave me, but I knew I had tossed it in a bag somewhere. Thinking about the summer felt so distant, almost as though it had happened to someone else and I was simply gifted with their memories. But before I even knew it, more time flows by without thinking, and it’s time for mom to leave. I had been thinking of this moment for the last few months, trying to picture all the words that I would say to her. Aurora leaves the room, claiming that she's running to the bathroom, but truthfully I know she's giving us the time we need together.

“Oh my love. I’m not sure how I’m going to survive without you,” My mother talks first, pulling my body into her chest, slowly running her fingers through my hair. “You have been my one and only rock the last eighteen years, and you have become my whole life. My whole reason for fighting for a new day, a better existence. I know you are going to absolutely kill it here. You were meant for so much more than staying in New York. The world is not prepared for you, my love.” She always seemed to know the words to find when I couldn't discover them on my own. The tears start to roll out, soaking the front of her blouse, dark gray in its nature anyways. 

“I love you so much, Mom,” I choke out, the tears rolling down my full face, coating my lips with salt. “I never said it enough, but I love you so much.” I hug her as hard as I can manage, a few sobs choking out, although mumble by the fabrics between us.

“I know my love, I know.” She tells me.

And then, she was gone. 

Finally, I was onto my own life now, with no one from my prior one standing by my side. They would always be there mentally, but for the time being, I had to discover how to cope physically without them. It almost felt empty. Not unbearably lonely, like I had thought, but numb in a sense. The gap was there, but nothing had filled it. Not pain nor happiness. 

“Your mother seems like a very lovely person, very full of life and happy.” Aurora tells me once she returns from the bathroom, the both of us sitting on separate beds, enjoying the silence that seemed to pour in from the darkness outside our window that came so quickly.

“Lovely is a very interesting term to use to describe her,” I laugh, positioning myself on my bed to face Aurora better. My hands rest on my face, elbows propping me up as I lay on my stomach. “Here, when she hasnt had to be working all day everyday, I’ve seen a much more pleasant and friendly side to her than usual. I mean, she's always been friendly, but I don’t know, there's just some kind of different…”

“Glow.” Aurora finishes for me. “Italy can do that to some people, the beauty that appears to leak out of every river, every person, every rooftop. It has what we call a ‘changing aura’ to some. Those who enter may never leave quite the same. For most, it's refreshing and intoxicating. I can understand what allured you so much about this campus. Seeing the tourists come every season back home, it was like watching the flowers bloom in the spring. Truly beautiful. It’s why my parents chose my name. They came and experienced it all, and decided on Aurora, just so they could nickname me Aura. It reminds me everyday to never take for granted all that one can see here.” She seemed to know exactly what I was thinking, and I smiled while letting out a sigh, silenting acknowledging that she was correct in her thoughts.

“Even though I’ve been here for a week, attempting to immerse myself in the culture through the most notable monuments and structures, I feel as though I've learned so much more just through our conversations so far. Thank you for sharing all of this knowledge with me.” I reveal to her, my smile growing with everything she shares. As the time would pass, I know that I would be able to look forward to all the stories she could tell me about her upbringing and the culture of people here.

“If you think you've seen the most beautiful parts of Italy so far, just wait. Through the years I’ve slowly discovered so many more places I can show. Much richer with culture, hidden away where most tourists are not able to find them. The places only share their beauty for those truly one with Italy. I already know that you’ll fall in love with their every being and be able to appreciate them for what they really are.” Her words seemed to reach inside of my being, and I could feel the strong emotions that went hand in hand with them. She wasn't trying to be overly kind to me, she really did mean every word that echoed out from her mouth. I couldn't stop myself from speaking next, even if the idea sounded partially ridiculous.

“Do you know any close by? If it was a body of water, that would mean even more to me,” I pause, the blush rising to my face quickly afterwards. “I’m so sorry. Oh my God. You literally probably think I’m a serial killer trying to lure you out of the dorm the first night we are even here. Dear God. I am so sorry. I sound like such an idiot.” The sentences ramble out of my mouth, the blush deepening and deepening with every laugh that came out of Aurora’s mouth. I cover my face with my hands, attempting to disappear.

“There’s no need to feel so stupid. I do in fact have an idea of a place that may show its beauty to you tonight. Come on, I think you’ll adore it.” Getting out of her bed, she reaches a hand out to me. I take it, and without second thought, squeeze it. She smiles at me, pretending as though the action did not occur. I was aware that she didn't know exactly what those motions meant to be, but that she still respected me trying to cope with leaving home.

Within a few minutes we had left the dorm room, and following Aurora’s very quiet instructions, we arrived soon at what I had to consider my new stream. 

* * *

Encased and enthralled with all the beauty in front of them, the two girls were oblivious to the beings watching from on top of them, hidden beneath piles and piles of cloaks, meant to aid in blending into every single surrounding they could ever need. Beneath the cloaks, one figure appeared in pain, his eyes much darker than his counterparts. Those eyes that were normally a vibrant red, like a mixture of crushed poppies and roses now blackened, matching the midnight sky above them. He only caught certain angles of the females, but the small diamond necklace that shined so brightly in the moonlight from the girl with auburn hair stood out to him. More overpowering than what he could see from the female was what he smelled. He inhaled deeper and deeper, mouth slightly opening while his eyes shut. Now that he had the girls scent, he could never let her go.

The overwhelming urge to jump down from their cover right there was as prevalent as ever, to suck the girl dry with no remorse. Those were the most usual thoughts that he currently shared amongst himself. But his secondary feelings, the even more pervasive need to protect her, to watch over her every move for safety and security, was what helped solidify his ideas. He knew what this meant. 

His la tua cantante, right in front of him. 


	5. Chapter Four

Autumn 2014.

Volterra, Italy. / Milan, Italy.

Demetri, Jane, Alec, and Felix all returned from their mission early the morning the following day. They all spoke very little on the final portion of their travel, which could normally be found filled with banter between Felix and the tracker, almost always interrupted by the twins telling them to shut up in some polite fashion. Secretly, however, they all enjoyed the light-heartedness that the conversation brought when they had successfully completed a mission with no setbacks. 

Their mission was completely ordinary to them, simply hunting down a rogue vampire who threatened their safety and existence. Nothing was quite as fun now that the Cullens had disappeared into their own oblivion, and that their child was fully grown. The two years that their situation was going on was often referred to as one of the most worth-wild events in their vampire life. Everyday was learning of something new, questioning when the final confrontation would occur. Although it did not pan out like most members assumed it would, many missed the sense of adventure that the new day would bring. Now, they were back to simple tasks again. Rogue vampires, the occasional immortal child, keeping the laws they held so dearly in place. The four vampires still enjoyed their time together, but it was much more tame than those six years ago. 

This, though? This night ended up very different than any four of them had pictured.

In all of the Volturi’s time, Isabella and Edward were one of the very few blood singers they had stumbled upon. They were beyond rare, and treasured at the very least. Many could only dream of that moment. Simply figuring out that blood singers were as real as one imagined made nearly all members of the Guard more edgy in their way of approaching matters. Some stayed out into the very early hours of the morning, wandering the streets, searching for that scent. Everyone was looking for their blood singer, praying that they would stumble right into their palms.

That kind of urgency had ended just a few summers back. 

At the lake, everyone knew that Demetri had discovered something different. It was nearly impossible to hide it. Whenever the four were traveling back to Volterra after some kind of mission, they frequented the trees if the streets were too crowded. In Milan, the streets never stopped with people drunk on something: wine, love, life. So to the trees they went. It slowed down travel time, but was much more serene and comforting, allowing for them to relax before returning to their ordinary life. Even in the most constantly adventure filled vampires, it was nice to enjoy a second of silence. No screams of humans or those vampires that had to meet their untimely death.

Demetri, although being 6’3” in stature, was arguably always the vampire to travel the fastest in their little pack. He flew through the trees with ease, Felix always following close behind, laughs echoing between their not-needed breaths. The sense of calm gave him the slightest extra edge to work faster than his counterparts. For humans, all they could sense was the wind fluttering between branches, the very faint sound of their discussions which just seemed like birds settling down for the night. 

Tonight, though, that was not the case.

The tracker was farther ahead, that was the usual. But then, he stopped. Abruptly. 

The rest of the group followed in his suit, not being used to such a sudden disruption. Demetri’s eyes started searching through all the tears, his mind racing between a thousand different elements.

“Demetri.” Jane spoke, her voice as monotone and uncaring as ever. It seemed like the only time she was happy was when she was able to cause pain. Occasionally the tracker could force the smallest smile out of her, but those moments were rare and far between, despite the thousand years they had spent together. 

Words couldn't come to him quite yet. The scent of whatever was lingering was too strong to ignore. His body moved without him knowing it, and suddenly all four of the trackers were standing nearly directly above two other females. Their laughs broke the silence between the air, and Felix watched his brother intently as Demetri seemed to act by some outside force.

“Are you hungry, brother?” Felix asked, voice as hushed as possible. The two girls below didn't even notice a change in their surroundings as they both removed shoes to enter the edge of the water. “It may not be safest to do so here, but we still have a small way to go until home. I’m sure we could cover it up well.” Demetri’s eyes shot up to Felix, shutting halfway in a way that radiated power and control. He wouldn’t let anyone touch her, even more so think about it. 

“No,” Demetri’s voice came out louder than intended, but it still looked as though the girls were too oblivious in their nature to pay attention to anything around them. “You will not touch them.” Jane and Alec were taken aback by his tone. Demetri was constantly full of a light hearted nature, only serious when taking care of a job. For him to act like this, even more so around an unknown human, was out of the ordinary. His eyes were focused on Felix, and the other guard members could see how dark they were becoming. They only had an inkling of what this meant.

His eyes landed on the girl with the small diamond necklace, the only that shone so beautifully in the reflection of the moonlight, knowing that she was where his fascination was coming from. She was short, he could tell that from his vantage point, with olive skin that was clearly tanned by the constant sun that greeted those in this time of the year. He couldn't see her eyes, or face from his perspective, but he knew that she was everything he would ever need. He began to feel a sense of pain filling onto his face. Her blood smelled beyond sweet, unlike anything he had felt before. In his thousand years of existence, nothing had matched this. He had tasted of royalty, kings and queens that had years of the best tasting food and drink, and even that couldn't compare. He had had nearly every single flavor in the spectrum. But this was unparalleled. He couldn't believe his counterparts had not reacted in the same sense. And his overarching need to protect her, even though Felix had not even fully threatened her being. He couldn't focus on anything but her figure, watching her every movement. Her bronze hair that fell to her shoulders, the way her giggles could be heard all the way through the rooftops. The way her hair seemed to float as she traveled deeper into the water, it now making its way up to her knees. It dared not get close to the dark colored shorts she was wearing, or the rose colored blouse that was tucked directly into them. He wanted to drop from the trees and suck her dry right there, not even thinking twice about the other female. She could be taken care of by another member. But he couldn't. He was stuck in his place, eyes fixated on her every movement. If he was human, he may have considered this love at first sight. In some fantasy world, that term would make sense. 

“We have to go.” Alec spoke, his firm voice suddenly snapping Demetri from his thoughts. He didn't desire to leave the human, but knew that the smallest hints of sunlight would be approaching soon. They couldn't risk any kind of sighting. Demetri did not want to leave the girl, he could sense his future within her, but knew it was necessary. Knowing he would return home and have to showcase to Aro all he was feeling was a different kind of terrifying. Although they had experienced Isabella and Edward together, this was different. This was directly in the guard itself. Aro would want to turn her to a vampire immediately, whisk her away to Volterra to live for centuries with Demetri. His protective nature returned once more, knowing that he wasn't ready to take away her life. He didn't know her, not in the slightest sense. But he desired to. He wanted to form the bonds with her before Chelsea were to shift them anyways. He wanted to fall in love with her, and her with him, without any kind of outside force. He had never felt this way before: the overwhelming urge to simply love. 

“Okay.” Demetri spoke, seeking one too many glances left at the female. Before he finally turned away, her body shifted to an angle at which he could finally fully see her face. Her eyes, just as bronze as her hair, flickered with some of internal sadness, despite all the laughs he had heard from her. Her emotions radiated much stronger than any he had felt, except for this current moment. Aro would be interested in learning that much. As he ran away, the rest of the group kept all comments to themselves. They had watched his eyes shift from their usual red to black, watched how his demeanor changed in a matter of moments. Even now, they could sense his brain racing in a million different directions, all focused on the one female. With his tracking abilities, it was impossible that he could ever let her go. She could travel a world’s distance away, and he could still discover her hidden in the most obscure position. It was only a matter before she was his. 

* * *

The first morning, waking up in my dorm room bed felt almost empty. Not in the sense of needing my mother or Eden with me, although if they were here I’m sure I would not be able to complain, but rather the internal emotions that I normally experienced so early in the day were nonexistent. 

There was no anxiety. No pit in my stomach, no sense of needing to curl in a ball, just nothingness. It felt like I was waking up a normal person, not having to wait for the first few hours of my day to pass before I could muster up the strength to get past it. I forgot what it had felt like to not be paralyzed by my own emotions, for the last few months that was all that had consumed my being. It came slow at first, a day here or there, but slowly increased until I wasn’t a person without it. I had forgotten how to act when it wasn’t by my side.

I thought back to the days before leaving for Italy, and the wish that I had only let myself hear. Wishing for no anxiety felt silly, and stupid, but here it was. So blissfully calm and serene, with no concern but for how much enjoyment I would gather from today. Every part of it felt so beautiful. It reaffirmed me; I was meant to be in Italy. This was meant to be my new home. It was impossible to not laugh at such a statement, but it allowed for me to be comforted slightly. 

From the sunlight pouring in from the window, despite the curtains Aurora had put up last night, I could tell I had slept in for quite some time. Aurora and I spent some time at the pond last night, spilling little details about life before we had met each other. Nothing was too deep, nothing like a full fledged friendship, but it was nice to feel comfortable enough to carry on a conversation with someone here. It lasted until the early morning, just side stories on side stories. Learning about her life on a tourist designation was fascinating, and hearing about why we had both decided this school was refreshing. 

Classes didn’t start until several days from now, but my schedule until then appeared to be full of orientation presentations, ways to meet other students, and the occasional downtime that I knew I would try and fill with some kind socializing. Aurora’s schedule looked slightly different, but we promised to try and find each other at lunch and dinner times, at least for the first few days. After that, if we had found other friends to spend it with, then we could add even more to our group.

The first day flew by, as I was trying to keep myself busy by attending every single event possible for me. Part of me wanted to stay holed up in my dorm, blankets pulled over my face in the midst of a nap, but I knew it would be better for me to go out and meet more people. Challenging, yes, but so much more worth it. Aurora was a nice beginning to outliving my regular comfort zone, but I knew I would need more than just one friend to keep the college experience alive.

The night before classes were set to begin, Aurora and our small cluster of a forming friend group decided to travel into Milan in order to find some good eats before the actual work would have to start. We found ourselves sitting at an outdoor restaurant, watching as boats floated past us on the river. We were as annoying as any college kids could be, our varied accents and languages all coming to play. Most spoke in multiple languages, and I felt my lacking English education starting to pour in. I caught words of German, French, and plenty of Italian, all things I had promised myself I would try to learn some kind of half fluency in. I enjoyed every moment of it, myself sharing a delicious plain cheese pizza with Aurora, smiling for the multitude of pictures everyone was taking. Our lack of adventurous eating showing in the faces of everyone with their delicious, much more full and healthy looking dinners. But, slowly, my brain began to pause. The sun was starting to set, hiding behind the buildings that we were just exploring. Despite the overarching joy I had begun to feel since arriving in Italy, ever since the night Aurora and I had visited the pond, something felt off. Every once and while, while I was walking from building to building or hanging out on campus with friends, the sense as though I was being watched started to follow me around. It was never during the daylight, only after the sun had set would these feelings arrive from deep within my soul. The same sense began to come over me now while we ate together.

Even though I was a young female, and should have been concerned about keeping myself safe, the sense didn’t scare me. It felt similar to like a bubble forming around my being, an aura of protection and safety.

I blamed it on adjusting to a new location and place in the world, and simply tried to learn how to cope with it, going back to laughing with my new friends; my new family. 

* * *

The morning after returning, the guard members were given a brief time to rest before they were needed in Aro’s throne room. Demetri and Felix found each other in the library, Demetri trying to piece together every single one of his emotions. Even though it had only been a few hours since he first saw the girl, his tracker senses only encouraged his feelings of separation. Every moment he spent away from her amplified the urges more. He could track her down within an instant, be right in front of her with very little energy given, release everything he was currently feeling. The conflictions rose and rose as he tried to explain it all to Felix.

“Brother, you have to understand.” He spoke, everything in the most hushed tone as he tried to avoid any lurking ears that may be in the library at the god forsaken hours.

“I am trying, Demetri. But you seem unable to explain it all fully to me. Why are you so terrified of telling the Masters? Although Cauis and Aro may not understand, Marcus would have to. No one will ever be able to give as much insight into what you are currently experiencing than he is.” Felix attempted to speak some kind of sense into the man, but Demetri appeared to brush everything away. 

“I am in love with her, Felix. And I haven't even begun to meet her. There’s something about her scent that intoxicates me. I feel as though I am drunk on hundred year old wine, I feel as though I am waking up as a vampire for the first time, everything completely fresh and new. I’ve had my fair share of little romances with other vampires before, Felix, and I knew what those felt like. Their being did not attach to me as much as this female has. I’m terrified. Terrified of finding a way of hurting her, although we are many miles apart. Terrified of Aro wanting to turn her, terrified of her never being able to love me back.” Demetri had been rambling since the time they had gotten back, always going back to the idea of loving this female. Felix had never seen or heard of emotions so strong from Demetri, and he could hardly keep us.

In the midst of rambling, the two were interrupted.

“Men, Aro is ready to speak to us now.” Jane revealed herself to the two conversating, showcasing that she was clearly listening into their conversation. Demetri and her eyes met, a look of acknowledgment present. She didn't appear threatened, unlike her demeanor a majority of the time, however, and a small smile could almost be lingering on her face. It had been a while since they had a new member introduced into the Guard.


	6. Chapter Five

Late Autumn into Early Winter 2014.

Volterra, Italy. / Milan, Italy.

The two men, followed by Jane, who was joined by Alec further down the hallways made their way to Aro’s throne room. One would assume for less trivial matters, such as discussing missions after they had occurred would happen in a lower profile area, but it seemed like that was never the case. The three rulers were normally only seen in their throne room or with their wives, higher up in the castle. During these times, Marcus was usually found wandering aimlessly through corridors, reading books upon books in the library, or, on the warmer days, traveling through the multitude of smaller courtyards that helped decorate the outsides of the building. Any kind of way to distract himself from losing his own love. Through all of this, however, even to his own Guard, Aro preferred to continue a general sense of profession in order to maintain legitimacy and power as a leader. 

The three leaders all sat in their individual spots, thrones high and mighty, however Aro rose from his when the four vampires made their way into the room. 

“Ah, my lovely children. How was the mission?” His voice was drawn out, holding onto the ah for a few too many seconds. The smile that he greeted them with almost seemed painted on, his lips tainted with a ruby red, the same color as his eyes—signs from a recent feeding. In response to the question posed, Jane stuck her hand out first, as she traditionally did. Always eager to please her master, to show all the pain she had given to those who had broken the laws that the leaders had set in place so many years ago. Most in the Guard knew it was a sense of pride for herself, and envy for others. Many wished to have Aro hold them in such regards, never be concerned for their immortal life.

“I see,” Aro appeared taken aback, all four of the members understanding why. Despite the mission going completely to plan, the notions of what occurred afterwards were much different. Demetri was next to have his version of the night taken, but Aro decided to speak first before grasping him. “I see that the mission went to plan, per usual. Very good job to all four of you,” Aro voice paused for a few moments, Demetri hoping that by some miracle, he hadn’t seen how quickly his eyes changed, how he had just talked about the female in the library. “But, it appears as though your journey back was more than interesting, wasn’t it? Demetri?” From this question, Caius stood up from his resting position, always prepared to find something to argue about.

“What is it, Aro? Has he disappointed us?” Even though Caius and Demetri had been serving on the Guard together for a plethora of years, he was more than ready to dispose of any kind of traitor. Most of the time, he preferred to do the killing himself, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure that came from the torture, the satisfaction that revived when the fire burned brightly in front of his eyes. 

“No, brother. He has not disappointed us yet,” Aro took Demetri’s hand before he even had time to offer it, eyes shooting up in glee moments afterwards. “He has found something quite rare, haven’t you, child? Something that most of us may only dream of.” He had yet to drop Demetri’s hand, although the tracker did not appear any happier from his words. He was still terrified of anything that Aro could do to his new found love. 

“La tua cantante,” Marcus spoke, everyone in the room shifting to face what was normally his lifeless face. He didn’t seem happy, in any regard of the word, but he did not seem as distant as normal. “You have found your blood singer, have you not, Demetri? I can feel the tugs on your heartstrings, the bonds that you have begun to form between this unknown woman and yourself. And even though you have only known of her existence for a few hours, you are enthralled by every part of her being. You can not stop thinking about how sweet her blood is, or how strong her scent is to you. Even more so, I am sure, considering your abilities. Am I correct?” Aro’s smile returned to Demetri, hands coming together at his chest, mimicking a kind of praying pose. 

“I don’t know that yet, Master,” Demetri’s voice came out in rambles, similar to how he was discussing with Felix in the library moments prior. “And I swear, I haven’t touched her. She knows nothing of our existence, I haven’t even had one single word of discussion with her. I simply saw her.” The tracker appeared as though he had genuine concern in his own eyes, but not for his own well being. Aro saw directly through the facade. 

“And yet, you love her, do you not, child?” Aro released his hand, quickly going for Felix’s, followed immediately after with Alec’s. The tracker knew he wasn’t searching for details of the mission anymore. He was trying to view, from every person present that night, what they had witnessed in Demetri. Aro saw the darkening eyes, heard the protective voice. He saw Felix and Demetri only minutes earlier in the library, talking as if no one else would be curious enough to listen. He saw it all, and he began to understand.

“I am not sure, Master.” Demetri’s eyes cast downward, unlike anything most members had seen before. In the battlefield, Demetri was cocky beyond belief, knowing that his ability would get him wherever the Guard would need to be. Many knew of the several relationships Demetri had acquired throughout the years, simply trying to play the field with other vampires. Nothing ever lasted, as it was not meant to be. He wasn’t ready to settle down with his life yet, so his games with others continued. Seeing him in such a submissive demeanor, even though in front of the Masters, was very unlike him. 

“There is no reason to hide such feelings, Demetri,” He had returned in front of him once again, taking his hand yet another time to live through the events over and over again. He had only seen these feelings in Edward, and several years had passed since then. The revelation of new love made him think to his own wife, safely protected high in the castle. She was the only person allowed to see the traces of humans that were left in his being, despite how small those sections were. “She is your blood singer, and yet she has no idea who you even are.” Aro appeared to stop and think for a moment, not even going to consult his other leaders. In matters like these, it seemed as though Aro always had the final and foremost input, no matter what Marcus and Caius were thinking. “How intriguing, my child. How intriguing.” He turned on his heels, walking directly back to his throne. The lack of a response, of a choice for Demetri, was not traditional. This matter should have already been dealt with.

“Aro, what are you thinking?” Caius sneered, eyes fully on Demetri, his red pupils staring him down with the deepest kind of hatred. “He is in love with a  _ human! _ The most rotten scum of the Earth, and he is  _ in love!  _ How can you simply stand there and allow for this to happen!” Caius’ voice was rising with every sentence, full anger coming to play. If one were to look close enough, the smallest bits of cracks had started to form around his mouth, stretching wider and wider with every loud remark he could make. 

“It was not our choice to make, brother. Sometimes it appears as the forces that work much greater than us have another plan.” Aro simply said, porcelain hand going to rest on his chin. He was deep in thought, intentions unclear.

“How can you say this!” Cauis roared, standing tall amongst his brothers. His eyes never left Demetri’s figure, despite Demetri lacking any words at the current moment.

“Brother, stand down.” Marcus was the one to speak this time, himself being the only one to understand Demetri’s heart at this current moment. He could sense the love pouring out from the tracker, despite the human not even being anywhere near. He himself was trying to gage where the leader was at. Finally, after what seemed like more centuries, he spoke.

“I will allow you to visit her,” He began, Caius’ voice only roaring more at the notion. “Only at night, and never for more than two days at a time. If a mission begs you travel home, you do so. Felix will travel with you, in order to maintain the safety of our coven. I can not take your blood singer away from you, as that would be cruel. She will have to be turned into a vampire, that is clear enough, but I will allow for the exact timeline on that date remains unclear for the moment being. Let us start with a year, Demetri. You are given a year to bring her back to Volterra. After that, matters should begin to figure themself out. For now, I request that you and Felix watch her for the time being. Discover that she is not a threat to our safety, and only then may you begin conversations amongst her. If her own well-being is threatened itself, well, we will come to those terms when we must. For now, I permit you to travel to Milan to watch upon her, and when the time comes, learn about her.” Aro seemed to be permitting a looser approach to his normal method of handling situations. Having a blood singer within reaches of the Volturi was unlike anything they had truly experienced yet. Being able to watch the bond between two form, and the love that would grow between the tracker and his love interest was going to be a kind of learning experience for the Volturi. A testimony to how vampires could love even in their undead form, and how some higher kind of being controlled them all, pulling the heart strings together between certain individuals. 

“Thank you, Master.” Demetri breathed out a sigh of relief, not necessary, but aiding him relaxing his emotions. He did not have to fear for his or the women’s life at the current moment, although he was sure those times would eventually come.

“You may be dismissed now, my children.” Aro’s perpetual smile returned once more, hands towards heart. The pose he never seemed to leave. Like a child awaiting its next present.

The four guard members quickly left the room, their conversations not continuing until they were far enough out of ears length. 

“Brother, how can you do this? We do not even know the slightest ounce of information about her! She could easily ruin the whole Volturi if Demetri is to mess up!” Caius was as enraged as ever, Marcus on the opposite of him, emotions unclear. Obviously not angry, something possibly even pulling at his own emotions. The feelings deep within Demtri’s being reminded himself of his own lost love.

“Chelsea.” Aro spoke once the room was cleared of the four Guard members, ignoring his anger fueled brother. She was instantly at his side, her deep red lipstick contrasting against the beauty of her perfectly white teeth. 

“Yes, Master?” She obediently asked, although her own ties were unable to be manipulated to her coven. In charge of shifting bonds from others, many wondered how she herself stayed loyal to the Guard. She couldn’t change what was inside her own heart, and without a bond change, many would never understand what was so tempting about the Volturi. For her, it was simple. Being appreciated for her beauty, although never as perfect as Heidi, an endless supply of humans, and a Master that treasured her deeply; she couldn’t think of another place to exist. 

“Prepare a room. Fit for a human. I believe we may be gaining another amongst us soon enough.” Aro’s eyes seemed far off, as if trying his hardest to mimic Alice Cullen and her abilities. Chelsea rushed off quickly after, gathering Heidi with her in order to begin the preparations. A human? In the Volturi’s own walls? The concept seemed adventure filled, like those times ago with Isabella. All members who had heard of the encounters with the four vampires, especially the tracker, began to feel a sense of enjoyment once again, longing for the days of drama and information pouring in nearly everyday. Even Aro himself seemed intrigued in the idea, yearning to learn more about the girl with emotions so strong they impacted those outside of her own being. 

* * *

About two months into classes was when we first met. The warm temperatures that autumn was bringing were starting to slowly cool, the wind awakening earlier in the day, the chill that the river brought as freezing as ever. Walking home from class, the persistent feelings of someone watching me did not appear. Initially I had hoped it was me getting used to a new place, a new environment. Now, a few months in, it was becoming clear that wasn’t the real cause. Although I had begun to slightly adjust to having them with me late at night, and enjoyed the slight sense of protection they had given, on occasion I felt more nervous than safe. Frequently checking my surroundings, opting for crowded spaces over dimly lit alleyways or streets was something I had been taught from a young age. Being a female, one may call it. I hated the fact that I had to be taught to protect myself rather than others being taught to not harm, but at this point in my life I had very little way to rebel against such a standard. I still practiced the precautions, no matter how much I despised them.

The feeling of being watched could come and go, the protection gathering and then fading just as quickly as it had arrived. 

But tonight, tonight ended up much differently than I had anticipated. 

I hadn’t felt the sense of being watched for the last several days, in fact, the last week had felt rather dull. However, as the temperatures cooled, I searched for quicker and quicker ways to reach my dorm at the end of the night, following my late 7pm class. My methods of protecting myself had begun to lax, as I rushed through alleyways and less crowded streets, just trying to get home. Back to the warmth of my bed sheets, to the warmth of the conversation that Aurora would bring me. 

As I scrambled through one of the last alleyways, laptop pulled close to my chest, the feeling of being watched came to me a sudden flash. This time, though, it was not accompanied with any kind of safety or protection. As I kept my eyes forward, a figure slowly started to make its way out of the darkness. I could smell the alcohol from where I was standing, body starting to be overcome with anxiety.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Began to slur out of the man's mouth, my fight or flight instincts kicking in as I turned on my heel to walk back the way I came, at least there would be a person or two to keep me safe. I had my fair share of drunkards back home, all of them trying their hardest to be handsy. His words didn’t phase me, most men were real talk and no action. “Hey, where are you going?” The man's voice grew more aggravated as I rushed towards the end of the alleyway, striving towards the light that street lamps gave off. Since when was this alley that long? I hadn’t remembered that when I walked this way the first time, or all the nights before.

The blood was starting to pump through my body, steps picking up and carrying me as fast as they possibly could. I underestimated how close the man was to me in the alleyway originally, his steps only seconds behind mine. Time felt like a standstill as I tripped over a crack, my laptop coming crashing down with me. I scrambled back up as fast as my body would allow me, but I was acting too slow. The burning sensation was prevalent in my elbows and knees, as I could feel the fabric from my jeans slowly starting to tear from the collision. 

The man had me against the brick wall moments later, pushing my computer out of my hands, crashing to the concrete ground. A scream omitted from my mouth, and the anger returned to his bitter face as his palm came crashing down on my mouth. I attempted biting down, but his grip was far too tight. The wine lingered off his mouth as he smiled down at me, and I could sense all of his bad intentions. He was beyond drunk, and far more action based than any man I had met. For once, I was terrified in the eyes of this man. He reeked of poor intentions, and all I could imagine was becoming another statistic. Not in Italy. No. Not in what was meant to be my new beginning.

“Where did you think you were going, sweetheart? Thought you could outrun me?” His body was pressed up against mine, his face coming down to kiss my cheek. As I tried to struggle against his figure, his other hand came up to pull mine together above my hair, my eyes shutting in response. I would struggle for as long as my body would let me, I told myself. Any given opportunity, I would scream, and scream, and scream. Block it all out, I told myself. Pretend this is a nightmare and you’ll wake up in any moment, the bedding just too tight against your body. That’s what all the sweating was from. Just your real life circumstances starting to leak in. The tears were cascading down my face as he continued to kiss down my neck.

Then, the warmth was gone. 

My shut eyes open to a scene that I hadn’t imagined in a thousand years would occur, but it was right in front of me.

Two men, figures much larger than mine could ever be, had tackled the man to the ground. Their garment choice looked silly, long dark colored cloaks that reached the ground, hoods pulled up over their faces. I could see much besides their porcelain colored skin that snuck out from their sleeves with every punch they delivered to the man. Only grunts came out from all three men. The drunkard had no chance, with the two men clearly much stronger than him. Punches and kicked were thrown, with the drunk being tossed to the floor, blood pooling around 

Too enamored by the scene folding out in front of me to pay any attention to my own body, I hardly noticed while it happened, but my body began to fall down to the concrete, still too paralyzed in fear. The burning sensation returned in my elbows and knees, and I pulled gently at the small rips that had formed in my jeans to look at the future scabs. There was hardly any blood, but still enough that I would want to disinfect it as quickly as possible. More so, I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding. My breathing hadn’t stopped escalating, as I caught myself slowly rocking myself back and forth. Taking myself back to my anxiety ridden mornings, I pulled my knees up to my chest, bloody and all, and rocked over and over again. I forced my eyes away from the scene folding in front of me, too terrified to see what would happen to the drunkard. His voice stuck in my head, repeating words over and over again. The smell of his breath lingering against the fabric of my clothes, even if he had only been there for a moment. 

“Are you okay?” After what felt like forever, a voice spoke to me. From my position on the gravel, my eyes had to reach up all the way from the black leather shoes, to the dark red cloak that hung all the way to ground, up to the man's eyes. They were vibrant red, unlike anything I had ever seen. My eyes were playing tricks on me, with all the dateline rushing through my body at the time. I was seeing things that weren’t there. 

“Is he gone?” I mustered up the courage to ask, my eyes moving from his to where I had just seen the scene unfold. The larger, more muscular man was not there anymore, similar with the man who had just tried to harm me.

”Don’t worry about him. Are you okay?” The deep Italian voice spoke out again, as he kneeled down to my level. There was no imperfection in his skin, lips tinted a soft shade of red. Everything about him was red. His hair reminded me of my own, a slight bronze mixed with copper. There was limited street lamp light coming from our position, but the moonlight gave me everything I needed. He was beautiful, a kind of gorgeous that authors wrote about, that people paid thousands of dollars to attempt to achieve. His voice sounded sweet, but the emotions were still throwing the rest of my body for a loop.

“My knees, and elbows,” I started, moving my arms away from my chest, keeping eye contact on the male. “They’re bleeding,” I watched as his eyes darted down to the blood, then back up to me. His eyes were no longer red. They were a deep black, blending in completely with his pupils. The look in his face terrified me now. The protection and safety he had made me feel seconds ago was replaced with something much more powerful, something much more dark and mysterious. “Are you-are you going to hurt me too?” The words rambled from my mouth as I pushed my back against the brick further, trying to create as much distance as possible between me and the unknown figure. At this, his whole being softened.

“No, no, I would never hurt you like that vile man had the intentions of doing. He is far gone, and you will never have to concern yourself with something like that ever again. I will protect you, I promise,” The words sounded funny in his mouth, slightly too old-fashioned and proper for the times we were in. But it fit his demeanor well, matched with the kind of cloak he was wearing. Even more so, the vow to protect me. Hearing it was beyond odd, but there was some kind of comfort within it. Like I could truly trust what he was saying. “What’s your name?” He had reached for my computer in the meantime, checking inside the case to ensure that it hadn’t been broken before handing it back to me.

“Ellia. Ellia Brooks.” I heard myself saying, brain and words feeling so much farther off than I was at the moment.

“Ellia,” He spoke, my voice rolling so perfectly off his tongue. I was taken aback by how quickly my emotions were piling up for this man, blaming it on the fact that he had just saved my life. I couldn’t thank his friend, but I didn't even want to picture where the two of them were at the current moment. “That’s a beautiful name.” His smile was genuine as he reached to help me to my feet, the burn coming and going in my knees. I knew I would wake up with plenty of bruises the following day.

“And yours?” I felt bold enough to ask, himself taking a few steps back from where we just stood.

“Demetri, Demetri Volturi,” His smile appeared flirtatious, and I could tell it wasn’t the first time he had pulled quite the stunt. Now that we were standing next to each other, he was a good head and a half taller than me, his garments taking up even more space against his body, appearing to make him look bulkier than he probably was. “May I walk you home?” He finished asking me. 

I was hesitant about the idea, but he gave me the same kind of sense that I had gathered the last few months. Like he was watching me, hunting me like a prey, but at the same time standing by my side for protection. He looked and felt dangerous, all the while feeling exactly like home.

“Yes, that would be okay.” I answered him, heading back the same direction that I had originally intended to go. We talked very little, and he followed my footsteps exactly. He felt more confident in where he was walking, making it seem like he was already familiar with the area.

“Are you from around here?” I asked, attempting to break some kind of the silence that fell upon us.

“You could say that.” He answered back, his eyes never stopping to watch mine. The bleeding in my knees had stopped, and I could feel the burn starting to pass. Now that I looked at his eyes, the red tint was returning. I continued to blame it on the emotions running through my body, the way the moonlight was hitting his face, and a billion other things that I could say had caused it. 

He walked me until we were within spotting distance of my dorm room before he told me he had to leave. His friend, whom he called Felix, had joined us when we were halfway there. I neglected to ask where he had taken the man, too scared by his statuer, and too terrified of what the answer could be. I saw the way he had harmed the man, how brutal they acted without seeming to know very much.

“Before you leave, could I get your phone number?” It was more forward than my normal approach, but I had spent the last two months in Italy without the slightest trace of some kind of romantic relationship. Nothing had given me true feelings. And then Demetri stumbled right out of nowhere. “Just so I can say thank you one more time for everything tonight.” I attempted to cover up my true intentions, but it felt as though he could see right through it.

“Don’t worry. You’ll see me around soon enough. And I’ll take that as your thank you, a proper one in person.” I couldn’t get over the way words rolled off his tongue, his accent appearing to have years in the making. All I could do was simply nod, still in awe of how a human being could have such flawless skin, and hair that appeared to glow in the moonlight.

The moonlight. The moonlight had enhanced everything tonight. Through the gentleness it gave off, I could watch his rosy lips every time he talked, could watch the way his eyes darted over to me, double and triple checking if I was okay. I forced myself again to blame it on the fact that he had saved me, that’s why I was feeling these strong emotions towards him. But I couldn’t fault the moonlight. It had only accentuated what was already present. 


	7. Chapter Six

Winter 2014. 

Milan, Italy. 

I recommended the song IDK You Yet by Alexander 23 for the first portion of the chapter (about halfway through--around the lines where she enters the shower) for your reading convenience! :)

The night after meeting Demetri, I stayed up late with Aurora. When I had gotten home a half hour later than I should have been, she was practically waiting at the door for me. Jumping off her bed, she immediately sensed the anxiety that still had traces throughout my bloodstream, showing itself as a mixture of sweat pooled on my forward and hands that couldn't stop twitching. I was calmed down considerably from where I had been, but the final bits couldn't be shed quite yet.

“I texted you after twenty minutes, and I swear I would have called the cops after another twenty if you didn't just walk through that door,” I shut the door behind myself, making my way towards my bed. I placed my laptop on the dresser that sat right next to it. “Are you okay? What happened to your jeans?” She reached her hands out for me, attempting to place one on my forehead, as though looking for a fever. I flinched away from the action, not quite ready to be touched by someone else yet. “Oh my God…” She breathed out, taking a step away. “Did someone try to hurt you?” 

I felt myself detaching from the situation, trying to not relive what had just happened moments again. I felt safer being in my dorm room, but part of me still felt tainted. I simply nodded, the words neglecting to come to me yet.

“Oh my God.” She breathed out again, hand coming up to her mouth. “You stay here. I'll go fill up our kettle with water and make you some tea. How about you change while I get it, okay?” Her motherlike tendencies came out, reminding me of what I was missing at home. I kept good contact with Eden and my own mother, talking multiple times a week, but Aurora helped to fill in some of the gaps when they simply couldn't be replaced. Out of all the friends I had made so far, she was by far my most treasured. No one was able to replicate her love, the way in which she was always there, even when the world felt against us.

While she left, I tugged out of the clothes that felt like they were choking me at this point, slipping into more sleeping clothes. Looking at myself in the mirror, I could see the hints of dirt and grime that had caked onto my face, feeling like a second layer of makeup. As I forced myself to look away, I made my way back to my bed, allowing my legs to dangle off the ends as I reached to plug my phone in. My reflection just reminded me more so what had occured, the wine stench still pouring off of me. 

Aurora came back into the room, her electric kettle full of water now. As she set it on the pad so it would heat up, she made contact with me, eyes full of worry. I could feel her own concern mix and jumble right alongside my own.

“I know you may not be ready to talk about it all right now, but please know,  _ amica  _ that I am here, at any point in the day to listen to you.” Her words released something within my body, as she came to sit next to me on the edge of the bed. I leaned my shoulder on her, trying to find a way to start.

“I think it would be better for me to talk about it now,” My voice felt weak, slightly hoarse from the screaming I had attempted earlier. “I may not be able to make it through everything, but I should at least start somewhere, I think.” My head felt cloudy, and I reached up to feel the slight bump forming against the very back, where I had been shoved into the brick. I knew I wasn't ready to talk about everything, but Aurora always seemed to know what to say. Starting somewhere had to help me feel partially. It felt wrong to share about Demetri and Felix, almost as if they were my little secret. I knew their identity would stay as mine for now.

The quiet beep from the kettle let us know it was done heating up, and Aurora hopped down from the bed, preparing herself and me a small cup full. She turned the kettle off, and the aroma of tea began to take over the wine that was so heavily ingrained into my memory.

“Here you go, Ellia.” Aurora’s Italian accent never failed to capture me, how perfectly things flowed off her tongue, especially when she would say my name. After Demetri’s though, it couldn't even compare. She handed a mug to me, fit with little painted on sunflowers that I knew Aurora had to draw in herself. Blowing over the surface of the tea, I took a gentle sip, letting the warm liquid heal my throat. She sat down next to me again, placing a hand on my lower back. She gently rubbed in circle motions, giving me as much time as I needed to begin. 

And then, I told her what had happened.

Shortly after one am, Aurora began to fall asleep. We had been deep in discussion, but I could see her eyes slowly starting to waiver. Staying shut for a few moments before reopening, nodding yes here and there to fane full interest. It was impossible to blame her, as I knew we had both been spreading ourselves thin in order to accomplish every assignment for every class, every single day. The satisfaction would come after finals and midterms, when we would finally have a moment to breathe. Most days the workload was enjoyable, as I was able to study in areas that were actually of interest to myself, rather than having to become mildly okay in five or different areas. More things I realized that I hated so strongly about the American education system. 

When Aurora began to drift off, I decided to make my way to the bathroom for a shower. My body felt disgusting, still lingering with the wine scent from the man's breath. Everytime my brain began to wander off, I felt my heart beat rise, my breathing becoming uneven. It had been such a short encounter, maybe two or three minutes of him actually aiming to hurt me, but in my head it was on a constant loop. His sickly sweet words, the bitter anger in his voice while I ran away, the calluses on his fingers against my wrists, and the unchapped lips coming to kiss against my neck. My hand insticially reaches up to touch where his lips had been, my fingers pushing down on the surface. Tilting my head into the motion, my hands reached back to tug at the hair surrounding the nape of my neck. Everything felt dirty from his touch, like a part of me had been tainted. 

Without knowing exactly how my legs had carried me there, I was standing in the shower stall, reaching to turn the knob to its hottest setting. The quickest method of ensuring the water heated up in a timely manner was to shift it to its highest, then work down to a cooler, more livable temperature from there. Unlike at home, where I would start off warm, then slowly build to something much more comforting. I was adjusting day by day to little actions such as those. 

Entering the shower, the steam hit all areas of my body, opening my pores and my head. I began to scrub every area of my figure first, rather than waiting until the end of my shower like I preferred to. I started with my neck, desperately trying to erase any feeling of his body against mine. The soap reached down to my elbows and wrists, clearing any remnants of blood and dirt that had accompanied the fall. The water washed away the grime that covered my knees, the leftover blood disappearing down the drain. They still felt slightly tender to the touch, and I could see the red tint underneath the surface of my skin, knowing it meant I would awaken with bruises in some regards.

As I started to wash my hair, the coconut-scented shampoo overtaking the wine that felt caked into my being, my brain found its way to Demetri and Felix. It felt wrong to assume, but part of me knew that the protection that had kept me company during walks had to be tied to their existence. Thinking it felt silly, but part of it in my brain had just made sense. Sighing outwardardly, I forced those thoughts out of my head as much as possible. I wanted to focus on the men themselves, rather than playing a guessing game of if it was my fate to meet them. Entertaining the idea was only causing my brain to spiral out of control, making Felix and Demetri almost like heroes in my mind, which I knew it was wrong to assume. I had simply been at the wrong place at the wrong time, and they were lucky to be at the right place at the right time, effectively saving me from being a static, from mentally ruining me even further.

As I pushed their heroism out of my brain, their physical appearance came into question. The red eyes that appeared as though they had been stolen from a fire, flames burning as strong as possible. I still couldn't decide if my head had been playing a trick on me, the way and method in which his eyes changed colors so fiercely. The brick that had been directly against my figure surely could have been cause for some kinds of minor hallucinations, if I had hit it strongly enough. Then there was the sheer strength and build of both men, despite Demetri being slightly smaller. The coldness of Demetri’s hand as he helped me up from the ground struck me as odd, but as weathers began to chill, I couldn't blame that on anything but the temperatures and winds. The pure porcelain skin, lacking any blemishes or scars. That was a true teenager's dream. The rosy lips, always slightly parted, showcasing the whitest of teeth. They appeared straight out of a magazine, fully edited to look the part. Their resemblance was uncanny as well, even though they looked wildly different in terms of statuer and facial details. It was the uniting features: white skin, red eyes, voice that was so thick with accent that they couldn't have just been tourists, that were all adding up to the question of who these men were. 

Allowing the conditioner to simmer in my hair, I washed my body for the second time. Scrubbing harder, hitting all the portions again. Neck, elbows, wrists. Toroso, hips, knees. Letting the water to wash it all clear, then repeating it again. My brain was beginning to become obsessed with the actions, continuing the cycle. The grime still felt just as strong as it was when I had first stepped into the shower, when I first fell in the alleyway. The water was starting to feel too hot, despite turning the knob down considerably since entering. The steam felt suffocating, as if it was the man's hand against my mouth again. My hand reached out to turn the water supply down, jerking it all the way to the left--as cold as possible. The water hit my body instantly, sending me towards the wall. It was much colder than I had anticipated, sending shivers through my body, as if I had just entered an ice bath, trying to calm any injuries that an athlete would encounter. My breathing hitched at how quickly the water had shifted, but I was grateful that the suffocating nature had disappeared. 

Eventually, I forced my way out of the shower, wrapping my towel around me tightly. Throwing my hair up in additional towels, I shuffled back to our room as quick as possible double and triple checking every hallway I had turned, eyes open for another man that would try to hurt me. 

Laying underneath the comforter and sheets that night, the tears finally began to arrive. I was able to hold them back when talking to Aurora, distancing myself from everything that happened that night. I had relived it over and over again, like a third person character. Watching it from a hawks perspective, trying my hardest to not let it all come to me. 

But, as always, my emotions took hold.

The tears came flowing out of my eyes as quickly as the water had just been running down my face, as I tried my hardest to regulate my breathing. Aurora was an extremely heavy sleeper, which was traditionally beneficial when coming back from hanging from our friends dorm late at night, or after studying in the library. Tonight, though, I wished she was a lighter sleeper. Too terrified to wake her up, seeming like a burden, I simply allowed for the tears to flow over and over again. They soaked the tank top I had put on only a half hour before, as I reached up to keep drying my face. I knew I was just as red and blotchy as my knees probably were, but for differing reasons. One physical, one mental. 

Curling into a ball, I only allowed for one full sob to escape my lips. The demeanor of the man still could not be shaken from my mind, constantly coming back to me everytime I shut my eyes. The darkness I experienced when they were shut reminded me of the alleyway, the lack of light besides the moon. Every part of my being felt haunted.

But then, I allowed my brain to shift to Demetri.

The compassion in his eyes, no matter what color they truly were, was as clear as daylight. How quickly he had raced over to aid me, to help me up and check my computer for any scratches. It felt like I was seeing a part of his soul, looking directly into his eyes. I hardly even knew this man, nothing besides a name that could have been fake, but the feelings he gave me were already stronger than any concerns. My heart and emotions had always been favored over my brain and logic, so I found it impossible to push these away. In the midst of my wandering, the tears had dried on my face, causing my skin to feel tight and dry. I reached my hand to rub any remaining wetness from directly underneath my eyes, the ones that had still partially pooled there. Running a hand through my hair, I forced breaths out over and over again. My brain still on Demetri, unable to erase him from my head. His existence seemed to calm me down, as soon I was passed out, nightmares yet to come.

Maybe it wasn't such a horrible idea to look at them like heroes, to imagine as though they truly were meant to be where they ended up. 

* * *

Demetri and Felix stayed on rooftops for as late as they possibly could, only dipping into a nearby vampires den at the last minute. The vampire himself was quiet, only lending his house out as to not displease the Volturi. Many vampires would do whatever they could to keep the Volturi in their favor, never wishing for death by their hands, knowing it would be full of pain and anguish. Those actions worked strongly in their favor for when the two vampires came to stay.

They were lucky to be in the city that night. The tracker, accompanied by his usual other four Guard Members had been out on another mission, this time in Germany for the last week. Watching, waiting, then killing. A small group of three immortal children, followed by their leader. They had been messy, not watching their footsteps. It was easy to catch them, requiring very little effort from any of the four.

The time apart though, made Demetri wish to get to Milan even quicker. They had only arrived that night, right at the moment when they had caught the man in the alleyway. 

Demetri was full of rambles, many full of anger, but then he would shift to a more compassionate, loving tone. Anger directed at the man, wishing he could tear his body apart limb by limb, just as Felix had continued to do once he left. But then, the love. Love when he was able to finally look in the eyes of his blood singer, as he was able to finally touch her skin, hear her voice right next to his face, rather than straining to listen from rooftops. Anger again, when he could feel the pain reflecting off of her being. How much fear the man had given her. Then love, once more, when he saw the way they had looked at each other. One could blame it on his overreaching love, but he could swear he saw the same emotions right in his eyes. 

The men talked about the dangers of what they had just done, but were also aware of how many of the tracks could be hidden. Their bright red eyes; they would have to wear contacts from now on, even if their vampire blood would destroy them hours after. It was only for the safety of their coven. If she were to ever question the original night, it wouldn't be hard to blame it on her injuries, hitting her head against the brick wall. Most humans were easily manipulated by their words, so Felix and Demetri knew it wouldn't be impossible to do the same to Ellia. The chill of his touch; that one was easy, blame it on the coldness of that night, the wind that tore through every tree. The strength and will of the two men; that was a little harder to find a way to cover, but Felix strength could have just been as easily blamed on his statuer. Born that way, one could say. Through their talks about every concern, Demetri couldn't get his mind off the girl. 

Ellia. 

Hearing her name felt like the world restarting. As if floods came down and restarted his whole life, made him a completely new vampire. 

Ellia. 

Ellia. He couldn't stop repeating it in his name, reliving the scene of the way her eyes looked up at his, like a baby doe in headlights. Terrified, and trusting. 

Ellia.

Ellia, his blood singer. 


	8. Chapter Seven

Winter 2014.

Milan, Italy. 

Today was a Thursday. Most Thursdays had very little significance to me, besides the fact that I only had one class, midway through the day, and it was my groups favorite time to go enjoy food on the river. Following class, we all normally took an hour break to collect our belongings, then met towards the library to continue our walk downtown. Every Thursday we ate, but some days we shopped, some days we just talked, and other days we did nothing but sit there. The time spent bonding made it easier to forget about school for the smallest bit of time, to not concern ourselves with studying so hard it forced our brains into headache induced comas that felt like they’d never end. 

This Thursday felt different. Today had marked two months since that night. It was hard to believe that that much time had passed, that the gentle wind became even harsher and cooler, threatening but never delivering on snow. Demetri and Felix had yet to make any reappearances. The red eyes, if I was even sure they were that, were still stuck in my memory. They were the hardest part to forget about that occasion, even the wine scent slowly disappearing amongst other burdens. I was with my thoughts too frequently, and when I was, Demetri always seemed to take hold.

Currently, I was waiting outside my dorm room, underneath the cover of a tree, aiding in giving me some kind of protection from the harsh wind chill today. My small group of friends were on their way to meet me, us preparing to go to our last full class before finals would come next week, reeking plenty of pain in their wake. My thoughts decided they didn’t want to stop today, eyesight stuck on the ground, hazy as though I was in another world. 

“Hey, you all ready to go?” Adeline asked me, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. My eyes flung up to hers, not even noticing that she had been walking towards me. “Hard to believe we just have one more week before we all get to go home for a little while, right?” 

She laughed, seeming to not notice the fact that my mind was in another realm, and as we walked towards our class, I allowed it to wander even further. 

Halloween and Thanksgiving had all passed by in a blur. As the time continued, I began to become closer to a few other students that I saw in reoccurring classes. Klaus, who was from Germany, and Adeline, from France. Both had their traditional accents, and we frequently found the three of us, sometimes accompanied by Aurora, and her new love interest: Matteo. He was a sweet boy, who Aurora had figured out had lived just a few towns over from hers. He spoke very little around the friend group, but when he did, he had the best comments. His advice was always thought-through, as if he had spent years planning it. And his jokes always had a hint of dark humor surrounding them, but made everyone laugh nevertheless.

Klaus and Adeline arguably had something going on between them, and there were moments where the flirting got slightly too intense and I had considered leaving the room. Adeline would forever claim that Klaus had a crush on me, but we had always laughed it off. I knew the two hung out behind my back, and sometimes it felt as though I was third wheeling (or fifth wheeling when Aurora and Matteo would join), but I tried to push it off as much as possible. We shared the biggest jokes together, and they had become my favorite people to study with. Aurora was the only person unable to study completely with us, minus our general requirements for education, due to her major. She was majoring in art history, which was a surprise to no one, considering how much her side of the room had grown in color since we had been living here. She would always decorate little pieces of paper and give them to me, and I had added them to my stash, tucked in a little mason jar in my closet. One day, I hoped I could look back on all of them fondly. 

No matter how close I got to everyone, though, Aurora and Eden had remained my closest friends. Despite not spilling all details to Aurora the night of the drunk, Eden got every detail, excluding the mystery men still. Part of me just had an inkling of a feeling to not talk about them yet, no matter how much I wanted to. I had told Aurora and Eden about a man who had helped, but left it at that. I told them how they had scared the drunk off, threatening to call the cops. How they had walked me back to the dorm room, and refused to take any of my thanks. A majority of what I told was truthful, just slightly stretched. Both of the females encouraged me to report the man to the police, and part of me would have considered it. I told them that I couldn’t remember much of the man, and that was true. His features were blurry in my head, everything slightly mixed together, like a collage of photos where you couldn’t tell where it began or ended. Truly, though, I was sure that the man was long gone at this point. I’m still unaware of what Felix and Demetri did, but I had the feeling that I would never have to concern myself with the drunk again. I had to remind myself that those were morbid thoughts, believing and praying that the male was dead. But internally, I couldn’t get past my hatred for him. He preyed on me at a weakened time, at a time where no one should have been there. I got lucky. But if I hadn’t…

I couldn’t even think about it.

So most times, I tried not to. I thought about home, and Eden. The warmth that would greet me when I got into the airport, her hugs already promised to me via text.

I missed Eden beyond words, beyond the distance between us. We talked about how we couldn’t wait to see each other at Christmas, with finals right around the corner. We would have three full weeks to spend with each other, all while catching up with family and miscellaneous friends. We tried to talk as many days in a week, but as coursework got lengthier, we settled for a phone call once a week, mixed in with texting whenever either one of us had time. We spilled as many stories as possible, me laughing at her party ones, and she finding joy within my new group of friends. Grateful was an understatement for what I felt about her being okay with my new classmates, and me spending so much time together with them. She was rarely a jealous type, and I happened to be blessed with her. 

Even though I missed her (and my mother) more than anything else, the stream held a portion of my heart as well. It would have to be frozen at this point in the year, but if we brought enough blankets and our winter coats, we probably could manage a mini picnic on some random day. We’d have to get lucky, praying for no snow in a place that was constantly plagued by it, but wishful thinking was all we were good at. 

Despite everything that was happening, and all the memories I was making, my brain still tugged at Demetri once more.

As the weeks passed, I started thinking less and less about the drunkard in the alley. Demetri and Felix had yet to leave my memories, part of me still clinging to the idea of them, hoping they’d magically reappear. Demetri had told me he’d see me soon enough, but with the two months that had passed since then, I was convinced he was just being kind with those words. Sometimes, I still could feel his presence, allowing for me to feel more safety whilst walking class to class. A few times I swear I thought I had seen him, on top of rooftops or balconies, walking about in the shadows. I blamed that all on my imagination, however, and tried to find a way past it.

It seemed like most things I was trying to run away from, try to ignore the feelings that everything seemed to give me.

My mother always commented on how strongly I felt things. How passionate each emotion I gathered was. The tears I collected could create a new ocean; The laughter I could bring on was enough to heal a nation. From the time I was a newborn she would always tell me she knew my feelings were going to be the largest part of my personality, the portion that dictated who I was meant to be. When I was younger I always thought that was something all moms told their daughters, that she was just trying to be a good parent and support me. But as high school rolled around, and I began to see more vulnerable sides to my friends, I knew she was right. Whatever anxiety my friends had, I felt it doubled. The happiness from prom radiated outwardly on me. Sometimes it was a blessing, like being able to feel even more excited to graduation, to get out into the real world. But when it came time to think about leaving my friends, the pain was larger. 

So now, when I felt the anxiety coming on, or sadness or pain, I wanted to disappear. The older I got, the more the pain gathered in my body. The more tears, the more aches, the more burdens that seemed to weigh my shoulders down, pushing me towards the ground. Most days I wanted to simply escape it, to pretend that I could feel completely numb to it all.

A wave in front of my face stopped me from thinking much longer. It was Klaus. I didn’t even realize that he had joined me and Adeline on our walk. In fact, I hadn’t even realized that we were standing in front of our class building now, just waiting until five minutes before to enter. ”You doing alright?” Klaus asked, concern showing through his eyes. 

“Yeah, you have been out of it recently, you sure you’re okay? Nothing dire you need to tell us?” Adeline tacked on, her and Klaus’ hands brushing against each other. It didn’t take a genius to know they had something going on.

“I’m alright. Just odd to think about how quickly this first semester went by. Feels like just yesterday we had our first class together, and started talking for the first time. I know we’ll have all of second together, I was just surprised by how little time it’s felt like we’ve spent together.” I allowed my mind to wander once more, thinking about all the memories we held so dearly to each other.

Pizza on the river, pasta on the river, dessert and picnics near the river. Honestly, it seemed like the river and food dictated most of our lives. I don’t think any of us could ever mind, the joy and laughter we gave each other was unparalleled to anything else.

“Cmon,” Adeline laid a hand on my shoulder, smiling at me. We’d all miss each other over the holidays, but knew that when we came back, we’d have even more memories to share from all over the globe. “Let’s get to class.”

I didn’t mind most of my classes, the professors having years upon years of knowledge and wisdom, and a plethora of stories to tell of their time traveling and everything they had learned throughout the years. They had the ability to transfer the world around me, to help me see all the beauty in the midst of the chaos, to help me remember why I wanted to study international relations in the first place. Studying in Italy had to be one of the greatest decisions of my life, the culture and people so rich in everything that it was impossible not to learn. 

But economics? God, I could not stand the class. I had taken an AP Economics course in high school, and hated every single moment of it. The coursework wasn’t difficult, but I fell asleep nearly everyday, mind getting lost in supply and demand graphs. Unfortunately, I needed the principles of it for my major, so I had to suffer through another year. That was our class right now. 

As we all took our respective seats: third row high, close to the middle, but slightly off to the right hand side,  _ if _ you were facing the seats from the front of the class. We always laughed about how specific it was, me having to sit closest to the middle, Adeline to my right, and then Klaus to hers. One could argue that she helped unite us all a little closer, as she was the one to take intentive the first day to come and sit down right next to me, Klaus trailing behind her. That’s why she was blessed with the middle seat, conversation with everyone easy.

From that moment on, the three of us combined with Aurora, who had at that point found Matteo, and the group was formed. Sometimes I wish I had someone else to share my time with, when the secret couple and less than secret couple were busy, but it wasn’t the worst thing in the world. I had a few men approach me, their voices thick with accents from all over, promising beautiful dates and adventures, but no one had quite fit what I wanted yet. 

Sometimes I would blame it on my impossibly high standards, other times I thought more about the man at home who had betrayed my trust, used me for his gain, never allowed for me to feel quite the same about desiring to fall in love again.

Klaus was the one to shake me out of my thoughts this time. “How about we don’t take a break between food and class today? Let’s head there right now.” My eyes shot up to see everyone had already left, or were in the process of leaving class. My thoughts wouldn’t stop, no matter how badly I kept begging them to. 

My brain had worked without me even knowing it, a page full of messy notes scrolled in front of me. Despite taking my laptop everywhere, handwritten notes couldn’t be beat. I would have to spend time typing them up later in the library, whenever I got the chance. But I knew handwriting them would aid me more for class, even if they were as messy as the ones staring me in my face right now. 

I nodded, and both Adeline and Klaus knew how out of it I was. They never got the details of that night, but they knew something had happened. It was impossible not to know, with how paranoid I got walking around the city or campus, double and triple checking over my shoulders constantly. How quickly I'd walk place to place, never putting both earbuds in. How I always wanted someone by my side, just incase anything got too messy for me. 

They didn’t know exactly, but they knew something. And they helped protect me when my thoughts got a little too large for my body.

That’s what Klaus was doing right now, not allowing for the hour break between class and food. If I got the hour, I may end up in my room and never leave, forever staring into the abyss, attempting to crank my feelings down two levels. If we all went out, however, they could cover me up with laughter and jokes, and part of my brain could recover. I needed that right now. 

So, off to the river for some food we went, with Adeline calling Aurora and Matteo so they could follow closely behind. This would be our last mini date before Christmas, so we decided on getting pizza at the same restaurant we had fallen in love with when we had arrived. The owners were always so sweet to us, and we made sure to give them enough kind words in return. 

It only took about twenty minutes for everyone to arrive, and by that time the pizza was nearly ready. When the temperature was warmer, we enjoyed their outdoor seating, laughing at the little birds that flew past. But now we sat at an inside booth, divided with one couple on each side, me always pulling a chair up to sit at the end. I could have easily squeezed on at either side, but in between everyone felt more right, and I didnt want to be impeding on all the lovey couple-ness. 

We all made small talk, waiting until the pizza was plopped on our table to really begin talking. But once it was, the comments started rolling.

“So, guys, I have a little bit of an announcement to make.” Adeline started, her hand intertwining with Klaus’ as she set them on the table.

“You’re pregnant?” I retorted.

“No, she’s not pregnant. She’s dropping out. Or wait, better yet: she’s pregnant  _ and  _ dropping out.” Aurora added on, laughter slowly rising amongst the table.

“No guys!” Adeline giggled, using her other hand to grab a slice of pizza to put on her plate. “Me and Klaus are officially dating.” She sighed, and I watched as Klaus’ face lit up. They were both genuinely happy, and I couldn’t have been more excited for them. 

“Yeah, took no genius to figure that one out,” Matteo laughed, slamming his and Aurora’s hand on the table as well. “And just so everyone is aware, me and Aurora have been banging it out the last month just for fun. No relationship attached.” Aurora smacked his arm, but we could all hear the sarcasm running off his mouth. We all loved to poke fun at Adeline and Klaus for being so oblivious to how obvious they were. At heart, we were happy for them. Their compassion for each other flowed outwardly so abundantly. 

We finished the rest of the pizza over the span of two hours with the owners, whose names we learned were Severino and Calimero stopping by several times to tell us little stories while they worked. They had lived in Milan their whole lives, falling in love when they were sixteen. They claimed their parents never approved, but they knew they were meant to be together. And here they stood now, proving them all wrong. Their passion for each other, even at this age, made me admire love. Made part of me wistful for it, if I could have even said that. 

As we were leaving the restaurant, the time was nearing six. Knowing finals were right around, and with all my messy economics notes I’d have to sort through, I made the decision to head to the library to get some late night studying in. Everyone had offered to join me, but I knew that they all just wanted to head to our separate rooms and relax for the night. I told them all no, that I would be more than fine, and made my way there. My brain still felt slightly foggy, still too caught in my thoughts rather than what others were trying to say to me. I hoped my homework would force me out of it.

I had pages of notes sprawled out in front of me, hurriedly typing away at my laptop. Going through all my notes twice helped me to remember them slightly more, and the longer I sat there, the more confident I felt in the material. I tore through some of my last minute homework for my classes tomorrow, hoping that professors would be more lenient. Looking at the time then, I realized it was only ten, and I would still have two more hours before the library would close for the night. I hadn’t even realized that three had already passed, or how my body was even functioning at the current moment. Time felt off, everything felt off. 

Even though I wanted to stay at the library all the way until closing, I settled for another hour to work on my final paper for history of political institutions, in which the paper was all based around comparing and contrasting two countries, of any choice from that semester. Writing the paper was enjoyable, and the class itself was my favorite of any so far. Professor García taught the course, and he loved to tell us of his times growing up in Spain before deciding to leave it all behind to study. It was hard not to admire his willingness to better the human cause, the desire to pursue greatness. I think it was mainly him who made me love the course.

As eleven rolled around, I began to pack everything up in my bag, which I started to use more and more as my notes piled up. Within a few minutes I was exiting the building, hoping for a short walk home, free of any disturbances.

But then, I saw him.

Demetri.

He was standing at the end of the stairs, looking up towards me. He had no funny cloak on today, but still wore all black, with the same leather boots I saw him with that night. It was hard to fight back a smile.

“Demetri?” I called out, not sure if my eyes were deceiving me once more. But that skin, so white and so free of any blemishes, it was hard to not forget. I made my way down the stairs slightly faster than I normally would have.

“Ellia. It’s so nice to finally see you again.” His voice rang out to me, a hand reaching out for mine.

I handed it over, not thinking much of it.

Until he took my hand, and gently placed a kiss on my knuckles with the rosy lips that didn't leave, despite how cold it was outside. The blush was already rising to my face, his eyes never stopping contact with mine. His hands were just as freezing as last time, and even though I wanted to blame it on the cold, I knew mine weren’t nearly as bad as his. His felt like pure ice, like he had been living in Antarctica for several years and his hands hadn’t been able to thaw out quite yet. Freezing beyond belief. 

No red eyes today. They appeared hazel, almost golden like. I knew my brain was playing tricks on me that night, trying to convince me of something other than what was human. I was glad now that I had never uttered of his looks to anyone else, or I may have appeared dumbfounded and stupid now.

“What are you doing here? Where have you been the last two months?” I wanted to keep asking questions, hide the blush that was still etched on my face even after he dropped my hand. 

“Well I happened to be walking past, my dear, when I saw you coming out of the library. I figured I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to ask you on a date.” The words rolled so perfectly off of his tongue.

My dear? A date? He seemed to be putting more questions in my head than answering them.

“A date? Demetri, it's eleven at night, and I have class tomorrow.” He seemed like he was telling some kind of joke, but no laughs emerged from his figure. 

“It’ll be just a walk. I just want to catch up, see how you’re doing, if everything’s been okay since then. I know it’s been two months already.”

He remembered. Part of me tried to forget all day, that it was two months. Cover it all up with some pizza and sleeping through class. But he didn't. 

I guess it was the least I owed him, at least giving us time to talk. I would be lying to say I didn't want to either, to maybe learn more about this mystery man that had been haunting my every thought, day and night. 

“Okay. I can do that.” I breathed out, taking his arm which he held out for me. I felt oddly comfortable with this man, despite not knowing anything more than his name. Part of it felt wrong, to allow him so much of my trust. But part of it felt so right, like placing a part of my missing puzzle piece life right to where it was meant to be.

I followed his lead where he walked, neither one of us appearing to make much conversation. But slowly, I began to recognize the path we were taking.

“Do you know about the lake?” I asked, eyes opened slightly larger than normal. 

It was never the same as the stream, and I swear I couldn’t say that enough. But I had come back to the pond several times throughout the semester so far, finding bliss in the peace that it brought.

“You know about the lake too?” His face turned to look at me, those hazel eyes shining so brightly. They were beautiful, much like the rest of him. The slightly spiked hair, the perfect jawline that seemed sculpted out of marble, the method in which he carried himself. It felt almost inhuman like. But, those thoughts were too silly to be saying anyways. I didn't want to make myself seem even more dumbfounded than I already was in his presence. 

“Yeah. It’s become one of my favorite places to visit when university gets a little too tough.” I breathed out as we arrived at the beauty itself. The moon was full today, shining brightly over the half frozen, half unfrozen lake. 

“Well, I’m glad you’re familiar. Maybe it’ll make you more comfortable to talk.” Demetri sat down on a large boulder, one that I hadn’t recognized before. I sat down across from him, on a slightly smaller configuration of rocks. 

It dawned on me how stupid I looked. I trusted this man who I didn't know anything about, who could just as easily hurt me if he truly wanted to. I felt like the stupid blonde in horror movies, obvious to everyone except herself how dumb she was acting.

But I wanted to know him. Wanted to talk to him after not being able to for so long. So I stayed where I was, ready for any questions. 

“What do you want to know?” I asked, bracing myself for anything that could come my way. 


	9. Chapter Eight

Winter 2014.

Milan, Italy.

The silence felt deafening. Every question he asked, the breaks he took in between, the eye contact that he never seemed to miss. Part of me felt intoxicated by his very being, the way in which he carried himself. I hardly even knew him, yet it felt like I was getting drunk by every sentence that fell out of his mouth.

They didn't even fall, if I was being honest with myself.

They flew outwardly, as if the wind was taking up all the word fragments and gently allowing them to soar through the air, performing flips and spins, like snow flakes appearing from nowhere only to land gracefully on the grass. The words then, having finished their show in the sky, would float downwards, leaving them to land right at my feet. Awaiting and demanding some kind of response that couldn't even match half of their spectacle. 

The air wasn't so kind to my words. 

They fumbled, as if tripping down trillions of stairs, landing upside down at his feet in a method that wasn't near as beautiful and gentle as his. I knew what I was imagining was all in my head, but the contrast of our methods of speaking was so blatantly obvious. 

I nearly missed his first question, so caught up in my own thoughts and observations of his every being. 

“I just want to know how you're doing. Just consider it me checking up on you.” His eyes were focused on my body, watching for more than just the words that would come out of my mouth. I knew he was looking at my body language, trying to see if everything matched up. If what I was going to say was the truth or not.

“You took me to the middle of nowhere just to ask me how I was doing? Sounds a little creepy if you ask me.” My laugh echoed around us, as if the lake was taking it and carrying it far away, to some kind of unknown land.

“Well, I didn't want to ambush you with questions in front of the library. It didn't feel proper. You deserve more than that.” He had yet to laugh, but his smile remained all the same.

“So, you do have more questions!” More laughs from me, but a lack of the same on his counterpart. Was I being too annoying? Only one question, which I had yet to answer, and I was already nervous about getting on his nerves? Damn anxiety, or whatever it was I was feeling at the moment. 

“Let's start with my first one, may we?” 

“Uh yeah, of course.” The blush was already rising to my face. I knew I'd have far too much of that awaiting me tonight. I had to focus myself, make my brain do more thinking than my heart wanted to tonight. “I guess I’ve been okay. Some days are harder than others. The first few had to be the worst, it just felt like I was reliving every single horrifying moment of that night.” My eyes felt hazy, as if I was having some kind of flashback.

Part of me was, looking past his face into the trees behind us that extended so far into the sky it felt like you couldn't see the tops of them. Their shadows from the dim light the moon gave off allowed for me to sink into those times, pretend that nothing was around me. 

The other half of me knew that the more I looked at Demetri’s face, the porcelain, blemish free,  _ beautiful _ face, the more I’d fumble over my words. I didn't want to look even more like a child than I already felt. 

“But, you’re okay now?” I could sense that he wanted to take me out of whatever dark place I was slipping into, and I could hardly complain about that.

“Uh, I guess you could say that. In a way?” My eyes met his, shoulders partially shrugging. “I try to not think about it everyday, and most of the time I’m too busy to do such a thing. But at night, that's probably when I think about it the most. When I dont have anyone or anything to distract me, you know?” I could feel his eyes constantly on me, even when I stopped looking directly into his. 

“Yes, I can understand that much. No one has tried to hurt you since, right?” Even though he asked the question, part of me had a feeling he already knew the answer. 

“No, nothing since that night. Unless you consider my professors giving me hours of homework as a form of pain. Which, I may add, I most definitely would.” I struggled to keep on making jokes, striving for him to find anyone of them to laugh at.

Empty again, just the soft smile that was permanently etched on his face it seemed like. 

“That’s good.” Simplistic, once more.

“What about you, _ Demetri _ ?” Demetri rolled off my tongue in a slightly playful method. “Considering I haven't seen or heard from you in two months, I have plenty of questions that deserve answers as well.” 

“I’ve been mild. My job has kept me plenty busy, but other than that I relish in the time I can spend away, traveling Europe as I please.” His answers felt methodical, planned and repeated decades in advance.

“What kind of job do you have?” I was curious now, desiring to learn more about this man that I only truly had a name for.

“Consider me as taking on the family business, working with my siblings to maintain peace and order.”

“How mysterious.” I commented, some parts of his story starting to confuse me. I could understand not necessarily trusting me with everything about your life, but not even truthfully telling me your job? That felt odd in multiple regards.

“So Felix is your brother, then?” The parallels in their physical appearance could at least be linked to that then. The erriness in the perfect skin, shear strength. Genetics were really working to their highest degree in that family. 

“Yes, and there's a few more of us. We travel in Europe, occasionally overseas to converse with our  _ extended family  _ to make business agreements, make sure everyone is following the rules that were originally set in place.” Everything about his “job” felt off, but I was willing to listen at least. It seemed like he was in charge of making sure contracts were followed, like a police officer, but within his own family. Weird, but not inherently bad. 

“So where is your hometown then?” I tried to push past the job questions, desiring to focus more on his personality and life. That mattered a little bit more to me than just hearing about the boring complications of business. 

“I was originally born in Greece, but traveled with my family back to Volterra, Italy very early on. It's been my home ever since, always treating me with the utmost kindness. I can not imagine living anywhere else. Yourself? I can already tell from your accent that you do not belong anywhere near here.” It made sense why I wouldn't have seen him as often, or since that night. He wasn't always in Milan, just happened to be traveling and found me at the exact right time. Then once more, tonight. Luck seemed to follow him when it came to looking for others. I tried to focus more so on his questions once more rather than allowing myself to get stuck in emotions or tangents. 

“Accent always seems to give it away,” Another laugh was released from my lips, “Born and raised in Rochester, New York. It's about an hour and a half east of the Candian border, and five hours shy from New York City. I wouldn't trade living there for anything else. The memories I’ve made with my mother and friends seem unparalleled compared to anything else.” Thinking back on it, Rochester was a great place to grow up. Always gave me enough friends, but wasn't as huge as New York City. Plenty to do, but never too much trouble to get it. The perfect amount for any teenager who desires some form of rebellion. 

“Do you regret coming to Italy, then?” He was focused so intently on my every word, I could notice that much. The way his hazel eyes focused on my lips, watching as every word stumbled out. The blush rose and rose as I looked at his own. Rosy red, looking as soft as ever. If I had more confidence in myself, and wasn't terrified of ruining the moment, I may have considered kissing him. Maybe in another timeline, I did. 

“Oh God no!” I shook my head, a soft giggle emerging from my mouth. Past me would have been so proud, that I hadn't once regretted my decision to travel here for university. “Coming here had to be the one of the best decisions of my life. I loved Rochester, and still do. I am sure I always will. But I knew I had to grow out of my comfort zone, find something that gave me a little bit more of a challenge. I always felt like I was meant for more than just staying in one place for the rest of my life, you know? Like, the world wanted more out of me than simply staying in one place, never changing, never growing. God, I’m sorry if I’m rambling.” I was starting to get lost in my own words, becoming more joyful as I talked about my future. Desiring to always be more, knowing that I had to be. 

“No, continue. It’s enjoyable to see you open up about something you are so clearly passionate about.” Blush rose to my face, even though it had felt like it never left. The never ending night of blush, it appeared as though. The emotions, and lovesickness Demetri gave me was overwhelming my body at every turn, every sentence spoken. 

“Uh, yeah,” The fragments that materialized from my lips were clumsy, fumbling over which one wanted center stage. Clearing my throat, I kept on talking, “I just knew that I couldn't stay in the United States for the rest of my life. Seven billion people in the whole world and I was just going to stay in the same small circle? That felt so selfish of me. So I did some research, happened to stumble about this school, and fell in love. After that it was just a matter of getting my mother on board, and that wasn't very hard anyways. And now, here I am. Not regretting a single second of it.” 

Part of me always knew there was more to life than staying in one place. I wanted to travel, far and wide. Speak only portions of a million different languages, forever only remembering the hellos and I love you’s. Meet new people, fall in love a million times. Find my soulmate, if I was lucky enough for that. Try to ever settle down, at least not for too long. And if I was to find my soulmate, maybe consider it. Stay in a beautiful home, laughing about the more golden days. Grow old, never have children. Only be remembered by those who I met in travels, and the people that I loved dearly. It was meant to be a dream for a reason though, I knew many portions of it would never be achieved, and that was okay. Simply put, I wanted to find my happiness in some way, shape, or form. 

Demetri’s followup question brought me back to the real world once more.

“No father to convince?” Automatically he knew he had overstepped a line. The apologies followed closely afterwards. “My apologies, Ellia. That was very unkind of me. You do not have to answer that if you do not please.”

“No, no, it’s okay. Would have come up at some point, right?” I shrugged, and decided to answer him anyways. “I don't know that much about him, truly. My mom always said he left when I was young, jealous of her abilities and prosperity in the business world. I have a few birthday cards, from my earliest birthdays that he wrote. After my seventh, I didn't get anything. At first I was disappointed, wishing for a relationship that was clearly never meant to be. But I got used to it, stopped rushing to the mailbox searching for his messy handwriting. Sometimes I think about reaching out, but I’m not so sure what it would mean now. If he wanted to be in my life, he could have chosen to be.”

“If he came back and desired a relationship, would you?” These were the real questions now, much deeper than simply asking where I was born and raised. 

“I’ve thought about that question a lot, actually. I honestly still don't have an answer. Part of me craves that kind of attachment to a father figure. But I’ve survived so far without it. I think I could last for the rest of my life if I really wanted to.” It was true. I did think about it a lot, and still had never come to a conclusion. He was my father, and I knew I was meant to love him, but he abandoned it all. His wife, his family, me. Left it behind without giving a second care about what his daughter would do without him. Forgiveness was still something I was working on when it came to him. I knew that if it ever came to it, I wouldn’t have an answer unless he was staring me right in the face. 

“Do you know anything about him? Has your mother told you anything?” His questions didn't seem demanding, or if he was prodding for every single inch of my life. He felt genuinely curious as to what my life was like. These were things I had only vocalized with Eden back home, so I was beyond grateful to finally open up. 

“Very little. They haven't had any contact, from what I know, since he left. My mother said we had the same eyes, and nose. She said he was always very kind, and loved me immensely. But when my mother started to prosper with his work, he got jealous. He was an artist, extremely talented from what my mom always showed me, but jealous nevertheless of my mom. I don't know much more besides that, if I’m being honest.” I shrugged, not being very much bothered by the conversation, but it felt odd to vocalize all of this.

“I am so sorry, Ellia.” His words felt genuine, and I could discern no sarcasm or lack of care behind them. He truly was, even though he had not had to experience anything I did. 

“Thank you,” I smiled, resting my elbows on my jean cladden knees. The weather was only getting colder with every passing minute, the wind picking up every so slightly. I hadn't noticed it until now. The moon rose higher into the sky, showcasing more and more of Demetri’s stunning face. It glimmered off him so beautiful, like he was his own piece of artwork. “What about you though? Your family?”

“Were all very spread out. I am not even sure where I would start.” He appeared hesitant to answer very many questions about his personal life. But I wasn't going to give up and leave with him knowing all, and me so little.

“Your parents?” I pushed, trying my hardest to not seem overwhelming, even though that was my constant fear.

“Supportive, as always. A little demanding, but love me all the same. My siblings are very much the same. Although we may not all be related by blood, we have always looked out for each other no matter what.”

“That's what siblings are for, right?”  _ Not related by blood? _ His family and job sistiton only appeared to be getting odder and odder by the second.

“Do you speak from experience? You didn't mention any earlier.” Shaking my head at the thought, I couldn't fight the smile that appeared as memories flooded my head. 

“No, no siblings of my own. But my best friend, Eden, she was nearly like a sister to me. We spent so much time together I swear both of our parents were getting exhausted of us. She’s the closest thing I’ve ever had,” For the first time since we had started to talk, I glanced down at my phone. “I hate to break us here, but it is getting quite a bit late. I do have class together, unlike you and your traveling expenditures.” The time was getting a little too late for my comfort zone, knowing I had a full day of classes, writing, and studying planned for tomorrow. 

“Absolutely, my love. That’s of no trouble to me,” He rose with ease, reaching his hand out to help me up. “Let me help.”

My hand reached for his, but something malfunctioned along the way. Suddenly, I had slipped amongst my own two feet, arm coming sliding down on the rock I had just been sitting on. It pulled my sleeve up as I slipped, and I could see the immediate pain. “Ah, shit.” I heard myself grumble as I tugged my jacket up more to look at the damage.

There was hardly any blood, just a small scrap. It’d be fine by the morning, but I would just want to make sure I cleaned it up when I got back to my dorm room. Clumsiness was starting to become one of my defining personality traits, one I was less than proud of.

“Are you okay?” My eyes shot up to make contact with Demetri, and the first thing I noticed was his eyes. They were far less hazel now, no longer sparkling like gold in sunlight, deepening into what looked like black. Just like the night in the alley. Blood. Something about blood changed his being around me. Heightened his protective emotions, but also triggered something else in him. I couldn't quite place my thumb exactly on what the second, however just as dominant, trait was quite yet.

“Yeah, I’ll be alright. Happens way more often that I would be willing to admit.” I smiled at him, only half of my mouth going up in an almost apologetic manner. My hand finally reached up so that he could still pull me to my feet. Hands still just as cold, but welcoming in many ways. 

We began our walk, the first few minutes being preoccupied by discussing just how clumsy I was, and a few more missing details about my home life.

Slowly, we fell into a peaceful kind of quiet. The walk remained silent for the rest of the way, until we nearly reached the base of my building, both of us knowing it was finally time to part. The feeling was bittersweet. 

“I guess we’ve made it then, huh?” I breathed out, releasing my arm from his to make eye contact. The hazel eyes, although much darker than they appeared earlier, and lighter than they were when I scrapped my arm, staring right back into mine. We had finally reached the outside of my dorm room, and while I liked him, I knew it wasn't appropriate to invite him in quite yet. 

“Yes, we have.” His words were simplistic, almost as though he knew how much of an impact a small sentence could make on me. 

“Uhm, yeah,” The words fell awkwardly out of my mouth, feeling like they had simply tumbled to the floor with very little care for their direction. “Uh, why don’t I give you my phone number or something? I didn't mind this date, if you want to call it that, and I wouldt mind doing it again sometimes. I mean, only if--” 

“That would be more than okay, my love.” His words felt so pristine against my own, not full of mistakes or fumbling over which word to choose. His voice was pure and clean, and rang out like a stark bell in the middle of the night. For once, a small laugh emerged from his mouth. The blush deepended at the fact that it only came from my own embarrassment. 

The blush kept piling unto my face, first from my own embarrassment, then from his words. There he was with the terms of endearment again, swiping me right off of my feet. I felt like a child in his presence, enternites of years more unwise than he. 

Fumbling with my coat and own hands, I pulled my cell phone out, swiping quickly to get to contacts. I typed his own name in, then handed it over to him so he could type his number in. When he handed it back, I recognized that his dialing code was different from the traditional Milan one that I had grown to memorize, helping to solidify his story. Mentally, I knew I’d be looking it up later to check it against Volterra, where he claimed his hometown was. Safety first, it always seemed like. 

I was curious about the town as is, having heard only bits of fragments about it from Aurora as she helped introduce me to Italy. Truthfully, all I knew was that they were known for apparently getting rid of vampires some odd years ago, and for having some of the lowest crime rates anywhere. It seemed like a blissful place to exist in, and I was ready to spend some time on the computer to learn more later. 

“I’ll text you then, and we can find another time to hangout? Maybe at a less ominous time?” A laugh came out of my mouth, but only a smile appeared on his.

“My apologies, Ellia. I find that nighttime is more fitting for my lifestyle. I hope you’ll understand?” He appeared apologetic, both of his hands coming up to hold mine in front of our minorly freezing bodies. There was the harsh coldness of his body once more. 

“Oh, yeah,” The mention and gesture caught me slightly off guard. “Yeah, of course. I’ll text you then and we can figure out another late meeting then, sometime after I get back from New York for Christmas. I’ll make sure to stay in touch then, as long as international charge isn't too high or unfathomable.”

“Of course, I’ll be awaiting your text message then.” He replied coolly, dropping our hands, which were still left slightly frozen from his grasp. 

He proceeded to walk me all the way up to the building door, then awaited as I swiped my keycard to prop the door open for me. More blush rose at the gesture. I wished I could turn that function of my body off. It gave away everything that was going on in my brain, making nothing a secret to those around me.

“Thank you again, for a lovely night.” I made one last notion of conversation, not quite prepared for the night to end. It had felt like hours we were together, even though I knew it couldn't have possibly been that long. The time moved slowly, as if we were in a movie, piecing together each second of our life fragment by fragment. 

“The pleasure was all mine, Ellia. Goodnight.” His eyes appeared to pierce into mine, as if he could read every single motion and movement of my figure. It felt exposing and liberating all at the same moment. 

I nodded, the shade of my smile taking over my face as I entered into the building, the warmth from the heating overtaking my body instantly. 

As I shut the door behind me, I couldn't help to think of all the more questions I had now that our night was over. 

I definitely had some research to do. Much more than I was originally anticipating. 


	10. Chapter Nine

Winter 2014.

Milan, Italy. / Volterra, Italy.

My heart was racing for much longer than I cared or wanted to admit. Making my way back to my dorm room, which wasn’t too far off from the door that Demetri had just politely opened and closed for me, I was already mentally miles ahead of my physical being. I could envision myself talking with Aurora for a brief period of time, herself already more than likely half sleep, if not completely. Small talk would be given, then she would pass out once more just as I had found her. Lights off, earbuds in, listening to some kind of soft music. Probably classical or something that reminded me of mediation and breathing exercises. The music was gentle and pure, just like herself. Heavenly and angelic, all she ever knew, and I assumed wanted, to be.

I’d shower first following our brief exchange of words. The shower would probably be scalding hot, mimicking the feelings of Demetri’s lips on my hands. His hands, so freezing to the touch, yet the sparks he appeared to create within me that illuminated and ignited every fiber and cell and passion in my body.  _ God,  _ I sounded like some kind of shitty fanfiction playing out in my own head, oblivious and overly cliche. He was a boy, the first one that gave me feelings for the first time in a long time. That was all. Time would pass in the confines of the steamy three walls without me even thinking about it, then somehow it’d be forty minutes later and I knew I would have to get a start on my day, or night, I suppose. Following the shower, I would find a way to convince myself to stay up for a few more hours even though I had class tomorrow and knew it would affect me negatively, and would prop open my computer. 

Beyond that, I wasn’t exactly sure what would occur next. The coincidences of Demetri--and on a lesser note, Felix--were starting to become too linked. I had little to no idea what they all led me to, but I was hoping Google would lead me to that final finish line, the conclusion that made everything into one big circle rather than passing lines. Private browsing, of course. Anytime anything slightly out of the ordinary occurred, I knew I didn't want it to be so easily found on my laptop or phone. At the very least, it would give me some kind of mental security. That sounded even more silly now that the words and plans were starting to form in my head.  _ Private browsing?  _ For some random dude that I hardly knew. My brain told me that was stupid, and childlike. But my heart, the organ that controlled every fiber in my being, said do it. Be safe, look everything up, something wasn’t right. Although my heart may have led me a thousand different ways, and frequently put me through hell and back, I trusted what it told me. So searching I would go. What would I even look up?

I suppose I would cross that bridge when I got there. Hopefully, that time would fall soon into the night, and not seap too deeply into my mental rest time. With the last day of full class upon me, I could not risk not gathering those last few details that could be crucial to papers or finals. Above all, my class truly was the heart of everything I wanted to achieve in life. A boy would never be able to make me forget that. I’m not sure how many different emotions and thoughts climbed through my brain in the short walk from door to door. But, they all passed and came with so much ease. 

My feet and therefore my body found themselves at my dorm, and I noticed the lack of light that seeped through the bottom crack.

Sleeping, just as I had originally suspected. Or if not sleeping, close to it in some regards. 

The key snapped right into where it was meant to be, and I cracked open the door, trying to limit the squeak that always awaited one when entering. Aurora was no light sleeper, but the least I could do was be conscious of her schedule. I knew she’d do the exact same for me anytime I’d need it. Like the days I would pass out at noon, taking breaks between studying, finding solace in those twenty minute non-interrupted nap sessions.

My flashlight on my phone was already turned on, readying to fumble myself to my bed and shower supplies. The light glanced quickly over her side of the dorm. Although my instinct was to flick the light over, as to not disturb her, the light lingered on her side. I anticipated her, quietly boring or something else. Except instead of a full bed, with Aurora passed out on top of it, it was neatly made with no human found in its comfy sheets. 

That was odd. She wasn’t one to completely vanish from her bed at nighttime, especially so close to exams and classes the following day. Not to say we didn't love our parties on the weekends, having a few drinks here and there. Aurora definitely knew her limits, and what kind of fun was there on a Thursday night? For sure not anything that risked a good grade in one of her artistic courses. 

I flipped the full room light on, turning my flashlight off in the meantime, and instantly spotted the hot pink post-it note that was lying on my bed. Some kind of relief exited my body with a puff of air.

Internally, if something was wrong with Aurora, I would have known it. That gut that I spoke so highly of. The heart that led me. It never failed to give me certain vibes if something wasn’t quite right. At least I hadn’t experienced those with Aurora tonight. 

Closing the door behind me, a smile emerged from my lips from seeing Aurora’s hand writing.

_ Spending the night with Matteo, I’ll see you tomorrow! Text or call either one of us if you need anything. Love you! -Aurora  _ was written in her flowing cursive, with a small little flower doodle in the bottom right corner. Her idea of a small little safety signature. 

Their relationship had certainly heated up more and more, and it made me only crave something romantic as well. Their personalities matched so well with each other, complimented each other in every regard. The gentleness and quietness, the passion they had for what they were studying. How close they had lived their whole lives without ever knowing of each other’s existence. They were more than just the honeymoon phase, like Klaus and Adeline,destined for some kind of arguments awaiting them shortly. No, they were different. It was as if one could watch as soulmates fall in love, and start their life together. Truly, despite the slight signs of jealousy and deep desire I held for their pure love, it was impossible to not be in awe with it all for them. They were the pizza owners that we visited in another lifetime, madly in love no matter what someone else had to say. Destined to love each other, soulmates in both friendship and romantic relations.

Placing the sticky note onto my desk, its hot pink color starkly contrasting the light wooden tones, I grabbed my shower caddy, locked the door behind me, and made my way to the shower. 

While in the shower, my mind wandered to the last time I had met Demetri, and that shower that followed that night of the incident. My mind shifted too frequently. Many times I had wished just to quiet her down, make her forget how to live for ten minutes. Yet, it was nearly impossible to stop if I let it gather too much speed, not enough friction. How fiercely I scrubbed my whole body that night, dreaming of a time when the aches would simply disappear. Most of the time they were, and there were no words to express how grateful I was for those moments where it felt as though I had lived without every experiencing that horrible man. Very rarely did they appear, but the nights where the shower stream threatened to burn my skin off just from its surrounding steam, the flashbacks didn't stop. 

Some nights I wallowed in all that had happened, allowing myself to feel any kind of human emotion. Stronger, much stronger than most people would feel, but I knew the more I felt, the quicker everything would disappear from my head. Not be on constant repeat, like a song that you couldn’t stop playing until your ears were nearly bleeding.

Tonight, however, I pushed it all away. I shampooed, conditioned, washed my body, washed my face, neglected shaving for another night, and simply tried to take everything step by step. Focus on how each action made me feel, didn't allow my brain to disappear into nothingness. 

Lucky for me, the shower only lasted twenty minutes, Long, but not overbearing.

Wrapping my robe around my body, flip flops on, I made my way back to the dorm, double and triple checking that I had locked my door. The blinds were closed, light only emerging from the lamp on my desk. It illuminated my computer bag that was sitting there from earlier, and as I plopped my robe on the end of the chair, I knew I wasn’t ready for tonight, whatever it would contain.

Changing into my comfiest sweats and sweatpants, I begrudgingly sat down on my desk chair, not consoling in any kind of way. I’d only last a little while before traveling to my bed, risking passing out at any moment. 

The longest part of the night was now. Sitting there, staring at the blue and white light from the screen. Ruining my eyesight with every passing minute. Cursor waiting for whatever I had to type. 

But I couldn’t think of anything. Where was I even meant to begin? Search up ‘I fell in love with a cute boy, but he is super mysterious and has super cold skin and is drop dead gorgeous’? Yeah, that was stalker worthy. Not quite what my aim was. 

So, I just started listing attributes. Just everything together, comma after comma. But, truthfully, I had very little to go on. Nothing seemed to click in the way I wanted and Google was of little to no aid. For most people, I suppose, the results would have been helpful. Articles from multitudes of health outlets, all trying to help individuals who had suffered from one or multiple of the kind of conditions I laid out. Or beauty magazines trying to sell the best products to get rid of acne. ( I may have to save a few of those for later reference). I tried adding lore to the end of everything, seeing if that would give me anything. Tried mafias, fountains for youth, anything, literally anything that would make sense. The strength of what they could accomplish made it clear that the men were not normal. Almost like superheroes, or possibly villains, I suppose.

Hours passed with nothingness. I made it to the four and fifth pages of Google searches before trying something else, clicking on every little link that gave me anything. It was four am now, reaching five. I was bound to get absolutely no sleep at this point. Just ready to give up. But I decided to give myself one more attempt, before I would eventually just wait to see Demetri again, and ask him upfrontly. That is, if I could manage any words out. 

In that one last ditch attempt, I added ‘red eyes’ to my list of attributes. Already listed out contained what appeared like a grocery list of physical characteris of Demetri. What I had based all my other searches off of. Red eyes was the one that I still wasn’t sure of, but if anything, maybe it’d narrow the searches down just that smallest bit.

_ Cold skin, no imperfections, fear of blood.  _ Looking at the screen, I could almost laugh at how silly the fragments looked. Everything about all of this felt childish. Just a poor kid looking to the heavens for any kind of answer, praying for something normal, knowing that vertically was not what was to come.

This time, the first link shifted. The following ones fitted the same narrative that searches had given me before: health concerns, skincare, and other assorted nonsense. But now, the first website was different from anything else, and it appeared to have several key terms highlighted amongst the page.

I clicked without having much of a second thought. 

But, a novel? Not exactly what I was expecting: some kind of work of fiction, but maybe it’d lead me somewhere. It was at the very least worth a shot. 

My eyes skimmed and scanned over the sentences in a fury. There was talk of the red eyes, the skin that was cleared of any kind of imperfections, no bags underneath the crimson, reminding oneself of the years of lost sleep. The more I read, the more the coincidences I had gathered sofar seemed like they had real purpose and meaning, reaching towards something much larger than myself. 

So I searched up the title of the novel: The Scarlet That Ties, hoping that maybe I could look more into the author, o the bio that accompanied the work. 

From there, a little paragraph popped up, aiding in explaining the plot.

“ _ Two individuals, both trapped in their own ways. The first? A drug addiction, only leading to being owned as property, with no choice but to sell their body. Death approaches closer every single passing moment, but Twice appears to have no concerns. Only longing for the next high, the following release.  _

_ But the second? Theo. A vampire. The strength within his blood is more than enough to end her addiction, transform Twice into something so much larger than what she currently exists as. He beckons her closer every passing moment, willing to grant a life full of power. But with power comes comes the violence, the danger of this new found world.” _

This was where I stopped. The bio had a few more sentences attached, but I neglected to read them. Did I seriously read that right? The red eyes, fear of blood, beautiful skin? Vampire?

Fragments of that narrative could make sense within my whole story. Certainly the blood portion. But others, like the freezing cold touch? That was something I hadn’t heard about in regards to vampires before.

Although, I guess I had never bothered to research enough into them.

Besides, this was a work of fiction, right?

But all fiction had to be based in something, no matter how silly or partially stupid it appeared.

So, I went deeper. Now I had some kind of jumping off point, much better than some kind of grocery list that I had formed. Instead of crawling and leeching to any tiny detail I had found, I began a much thorough analysis into Demetri and Felix.

What else did I know? Not much, not as much as I could learn. Demetri definitely loved his aura of mystery, present by his talks of the “family business”. So, there had to be more of his kind, at least some that he surrounded himself closely with. He talked of a business, was there some kind of hierarchy to this new world? Their own set of rules and regulations to follow? If this was all true, there had to have been. Vampires wouldn’t have been able to slip under every single radar if they were so obvious about their existence. So, maybe Demetri and Felix were working for some kind of government? Did this all just sound absurd? The only truth I could gather was from the last question, and that was one big yes.

Clearly then, vampires weren’t nomads like some novels begged to tell. Vampires simply seemed like a childhood nightmare, a horror movie on the big screen, anything but reality. 

So more searches came. More novels by authors, all claiming to be fiction. They probably were. If the “vampire government” was real, they wouldn’t allow novels of them that were true to be around. For just anyone to stumble upon.

More obscure then. I tried with lore at the end, and this aided in much more searches. Websites dedicated to the history of vampires, what different cultures and religions' perceptions of them were. That was far more interesting and appeared more realistic. Vampires didn’t seem to have one clear set of rules, although the few traits that I noted from Demetri normally played into all of them. 

But, why did he fear my blood? Vampires wanted to kill humans, drain them of their life force so that they would live on forever. Was Demetri stringing me along, wishing to play with me like an animal would? He seemed too human for that, too caring of my wounds. My heart and emotions told me something stronger lingering within his body, something stronger than just lust for blood or my carcass.

My mind was tired just thinking of all the possibilities. 

The time was too late, or early, for more research. Now that I was actually getting somewhere, learning more and more about how vampires had the ability to live forever, weaknesses ranging from garlic in fiction books, to fire in most religions, I didn’t want to stop. My brain was exhausted, drained from everything from studying earlier, talking with Demetri, and now this.

I needed to stop, for my own sanity.

But one thing for sure? Demetri definitely wasn’t human, and vampire seemed like the most likely outcome. 

I wasn't sure how long I’d be able to keep what I had learned from him. My difference in emotions and mentality would be a dead give away next time we were destined to meet. Why had he chosen me? That was still left a mystery, why he had stumbled upon my existence and wanted to insert himself into my life. That seemed contrary to what most sources had told me, as it appeared if vampires were actually living—or living dead, I suppose—they had no desire to be found out by humans. But I had two directly in front of my view. I wondered how many more vampires Demetri and Felix knew, if that was their real names, I suppose. And if they had the superhero power they had showcased a month ago, why had they not harmed me? Did they want me to find them out? There were too many things to figure out before I met either one of them again. 

But with Christmas right around the corner, I at least had the security of knowing I had a decent period of time before he would confront me, and I would have to come face to face with everything that I had discovered, and keep on finding out over subsequent evenings.

That may be the only thing protecting me from Demetri’s razor-sharp teeth, ripping into the whole new life I had created for myself here. 

* * *

Everything about the evening had felt unreal, as if every sentence spoken was coming from a third character, like a movie playing out right in front of his being. He had a billion different experiences, ranging from visiting the highest of towers, traveling across all nations, seeking beauty in every single new environment he had the pleasure of locating. At least being a tracker had those kinds of perks, following vampires to the most hidden of gems. But tonight was something else entirely. A new kind of beauty. Emotions whirling up inside of his being, desiring to overtake him someday soon. 

She was as beautiful internally as she appeared externally. That was all Demetri’s mind was taken up with. Despite his immortal attachment to the female, he knew her beauty stretched farther than the excessive emotions that hug with him that he would ever be able to escape, even if he dared to. The way her hair flowed with the wind, the partial side bangs gently contouring along her jaw. The method in which she spoke, even when it was beyond clear she felt inferior in his status. He had centuries of practice over her, most humans would have felt the same. But nevertheless, the thoughts that overtook her mind could rival his own. She had experiences that would stick with her forever, and he knew part of that had to go hand in hand with her emotions. 

Her emotions. They radiated outwardly onto him, like her own kind of aura. He had met vampires who had given the same, like Isabella for example. But hers was shyness, passion for her lover, protection for their kind. Ellia’s was not the same. Hers was compassion, for all those around her. He could only assume that she knew how strong her feelings carried her throughout the world, giving her intuition into when friends and family weren’t on the same key as she. He sensed intelligence, obviously something had brought her all the way to Milan from her hometown. And felt her own kind of passion, for education, love, a purpose greater than herself. And then there was her blood. Her blood smelled sweeter than any of the other kinds he had had the pleasure of tasting during his existence. 

But yet, when she had injured herself, he could bear to hurt her. She was fragile, and gentle, but only in her physical sense. He knew that her mind carried her wherever she went, with her emotions and heart coming close behind. He would never be able to break her, force her to come with him to Volturi in an evil, methodical way.

He had to make her fall in love with him, in the same way, that he was madly in love with her.

* * *

And as quickly as the time had passed the summer before arriving, this first semester had already flashed and disappeared before my eyes.

Last final, finally done. 

It was relieving, heartbreaking, a decent amount of difficult, and yet impossibly easy. There was a strong chance I completely failed, but I liked to convince myself that that was an issue for another time. For now, I was finally able to pack up my few belongings to head home. For those two weeks, school could escape my mind and I could simply live.

Now that? That had seemed like a dream the last few months.

Whenever university and classwork seemed just a little too rough, I thought about the moment of boarding the plane, ready to greet my mother in the airport within hours. It was impossible to not smile, and that smile helped push me through whatever pain I was experiencing. Now, it was finally here.

Within two days I would be driven to the airport by Aurora, who would be arriving at her own home shortly after, with Matteo coming along to visit. They had made the decision to meet each other’s parents, not too early and not too overdue. Matteo was more concerned than Aurora, guardians slightly more strict. Internally, I already knew when we all would come back to school, there would have been no issues. Aurora could make anyone feel welcomed, loved, and accepted. There was no doubt she’d have the same impact on his parents, making them instantly fall in love with her. Hearing their stories in our favorite pizza restaurant in January would be so refreshing, reminding me of another step of life I'd eventually reach. 

My mother, and possibly Eden would meet me at the airport, and we’d all drive home together. More than likely, I’d try desperately to stay awake, attempt to tell little bits and extras of stories that I had neglected to spill so far. Eventually, however, the exhaustion of travel would set in, and I would pass out, mid sentence against the side of the window, the views never as beautiful as they were in Italy. 

Italy and Rochester. Two starkly contrasting locations, yet both so integral to who I was as a human being, crucial to my development.

My heart knew that Rochester would be a peaceful break from all that the last month had held for me, allowing me to breathe. Part of me felt an odd sense of anxiety, deep within my body, clinging to the idea that only more adventure,  _ Demetri-filled adventure,  _ would awaken once I returned to college.

But my heart also knew that part of me desired that. Longing for that extra addition to my life that I always felt I was missing. 


	11. Chapter Ten

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York.

“ _ Amare _ , are you ready to go?” Aurora's accent rolled off her tongue as she stood at our door, ankles crossed, awaiting my response. She had a soft smirk on her lips, as if knowing I was mentally torn between what to do. Although she may not have known everything, she wasn’t cluelessly about the boy that my mind was taken up with. 

My gaze returned to my phone, as if it placed me back into my current situation, my new kind of reality, if you could call it that. The last day or two, most of my brain power was focused on the very item in my hand, and the app that was open, staring as if it was its own person, asking for a contest. 

I twiddled with the object in my hands, the messages wide open.  _ Demetri Volturi,  _ read the contact name. But yet, there was no message typed. Just a cursor blinking back at me, awaiting something, anything. A ‘Hello’, a ‘How are you?’, a ‘Hey, this is Ellia!’. 

Nothing seemed perfect enough to start a conversation; I wasn’t even sure where to begin. Too formal, too casual, too forward, not forward enough. Maybe I was too harsh on myself for a silly first text, I’m sure he’d be happy with anything. I knew if the positions would be reversed, I’d be anxious for even just a hello in the first place. 

I mean, at some point, I’d have to text him, right? Somehow, I knew that if I didn't, he’d find a way to me anyways. And then, there’d only be more complications about why I didn't message him sooner, and the more likely I was to give up all the knowledge I had been trying to accumulate over the last several days. There was no point in hiding with a man that always seemed to find me randomly. Maybe that was a vampire thing too? 

Still too many questions, with such a lack of answers. Google couldn’t quite give me everything I needed, and I knew I would need Demetri to fill in all the empty blanks that lingered. That was, if I even wanted those answers in the first place. That was yet to be determined. 

Sighing, I closed my phone, trying to give myself time to think about what to say. Maybe if I messaged right before I got on the plane, the anxiety wouldn’t pool in my stomach as much. I’d be unable to check to see when he texted me back, and I’d be so caught up in family matters when I got home that it wouldn’t be able to occupy my mind for a period of time. Anything to keep the nerves far away.

“Yeah,” I said, standing on my feet, hooking my carry on bag to my shoulder, smiling at the room around me. A semester full of memories would be awaiting my arrival soon enough. Maybe a love interest if I was lucky enough, and if I was even lucky enough, maybe it was Demetri. Maybe he was completely and utterly normal and I was only overreacting. “Let’s go.” 

The drive to the airport wasn’t terribly long, but any time was enough to allow my brain to simply wander, to be lost in all the nature and thoughts surrounding me. Say my goodbye to 2014 in Italy, and be ready to welcome 2015 just in a few weeks.

Finally, it was time to return to my original home, and revisit all that I had left behind in the first place. See the snow that was sure to welcome me back, accompanied by the icy roads and frostbite that dared to take a few fingers or toes if you weren’t careful enough. My gloves, along with the small Christmas present that Aurora had gifted me—a burnt orange, almost close to rust tinted beanie with a large off white puff ball at the very top of it. The weather here could be cold enough to warrant it on some occasions, especially at nighttime, but going home I’d need it even more. 

Aurora was all too good at knowing exactly what you needed, and when you would need it.

Our friend group had a small gift exchange last night, as a final way to celebrate before we all went our own ways. Luckily, everyone had the means and money to be able to travel home, so no one would be left lonely during break.

Presents and laughs, alongside stories from the last semester and tales from all of our home lives, shared between a few drinks here and there, were plentiful that night. We all agreed to only spend up to twenty dollars on each person, everyone trying to survive on a college budget. I was lucky from saving money from the summer before leaving, but I knew when we came back to campus in the spring I’d have to find some kind of work. 

Personally, I was hoping for the library’s sitting peacefully behind a desk all day. Or maybe at the pizza parlor, being able to witness the behind the scenes of love frequently, enjoy the scent of freshly cooked food that could make anyone happy.

Despite the agreed upon number, the couples all spent more money on each other, which just left me in the middle. For the most part, I guess I didn't mind it, but as the couples were all cuddled up in each other’s laps, I couldn’t help the jealousy, the deep desire lingering within. They could easily go on double dates, hangout in each other’s room, fall asleep in their significant others' lap. I hadn’t had that kind of affection in a long time, not since Rochester. 

Having the affection, the love, the physical touch, then suddenly having it gone, empty, cold. It felt brittle, as if my body would snap in half. And when I gained any kind of tangible love from another, like when Demetri would kiss my hands or call me his dear, my whole body felt weird, and warm. As if the blush that fell on my cheeks also arose on all other portions of my body, bringing chills. 

Altogether, that could be linked to the lack I had beforehand, the desperate need I felt for it when seeing Klaus and Adeline or Aurora and Matteo. I wondered if Eden had found someone, if she would want to split her time back home with someone else.

Would it be selfish of me to want her to have not? To be as lonely as I was?

Internally, I knew it was. But it was impossible to not ask for. 

In my never ending stream of thoughts, I had started to doze off. Head leaned back, eyes half closed, mouth slightly ajar. My brain paused, now focusing on seeing my family, almost completely shut off…

“We’re here!” Aurora’s voice boomed, my neck shooting the rest of my head up. Looking around, I hadn’t even noticed how much time had quickly passed. Aurora had turned on a podcast soon into the drive, allowing us a talking break. Words weren’t always needed between us. I think both of us were looking forward to some family time, break from school, and for her, spending extra time with Matteo.

“Mh,” My voice was groggy, a yawn emitting from my mouth. “Okay, let’s get going then I guess.” Aurora was dropping me off as close as possible, but I didn't mind her not wanting to come all the way in. We were currently parked right outside the sliding glass doors that would lead me to security and everything else fun. At least it wasn’t as overbearing as it was back home. 

I reached for the door handle, arms instantly coming above my head in a full body stretch to loosen up whatever had gotten slightly tight during the drive. Aurora had already grabbed my bag from the truck, and handed it over to me promptly. We both reached for a hug, and I couldn’t help the smile that overtook my face from the smell of her perfume. Floral with just a hint of the beach, suntan lotion and pure warmth. Very on brand for her.

“I’ll miss you.” I broke the silence for the both of us. 

“Oh shut up, you’ll see me soon,” She replied back to me, in a playful tone. Grinning into her shoulder, my mind replayed all my favorite memories of each other, from our first day of meeting all the way until right now. “Keep in contact, right?”, she made sure to ask me. 

“Of course. You enjoy all your time at home, and make sure you tell everyone I say hello. Hopefully one day I’ll actually have the chance to meet them all.” Secretly I was hoping that in the spring, I’d be able to take a visit back to both her and Matteo’s hometown, and see all the beauty that they could chat for ages about. Aurora pulled away from the hug, placing both her hands on my shoulders. 

“I was actually thinking of asking you…” She paused, leaving me on edge. 

“Yes?”

“What if you meet them this summer? Like officially. Like, stay with me for a few weeks official.” My mouth opened, and I could almost feel my eyes glaze over, completely full of happiness. A few weeks? Again in Italy? One of the happiest places of my lives, what felt like my brand new home? Everything felt like it was starting to connect, as if piecing together a puzzle. Every day that came, another day closer to my dream future I arrived. Spending time in Italy, completely immersed in a tourist rich, yet tradition filled home, was everything I could imagine. I’d be able to learn Italian more fluently, one of my more side dreams, and spend more time with Aurora. Become closer with someone who I had only started to learn over the last few months. Words couldn’t come to me properly. Was this a dream? 

“Oh my God. You’re lying,” I couldn’t comprehend this. Did she want to play a joke on me, some sick kind of prank just to get my hopes up? She shook her head, and I went back in quickly to hug her again, squeezing her even closer into my body. “Oh my God! Holy shit!” The tears barely brimmed over, only allowing a few to fall. Crying in public didn't seem like the ideal situation, but all the joy in my body was starting to fill up and explode outwardly into this very moment. 

“I already talked it over with my parents, it would be right in the middle of July, so you could have some time at home before and afterwards too.” Her smile overtook her face as she pulled back again, teeth almost glowing. Her cheekbones high, hazel eyes sparkling. 

“Holy fucking shit. Is it just us?” I could only imagine that my smile was twice her size, and I knew she could see the redness of my face slightly peeking through. There were so many questions to ask about all of it, and not nearly enough time. 

“You’ll be there for the longest. Klaus, Adeline, and Matteo all may come up for a week, and I’m sure Matteo will come up every weekend or so, but you’ll be the only one there the whole time. It’s my way of saying thank you.” She gave my shoulders a small shake, a giggle erupting. She must have held this secret for some time, and finally she was able to let go of it all. I still couldn’t believe how blessed I was to be able to spend time in Italy, as long as my mother would say yes. I had little doubts about that, she had always wanted me to explore the world before I would settle down and work for the rest of it. 

“Thank you? I should be the one saying thank you!” Truthfully, I still couldn’t even believe it. 

“Seriously,  _ amare,  _ when I came to Milan, I had nothing. Back home, family was everything, friends were lovely, but in such a small town it was hard to find anyone to like for so long. People change, desire something else. But from the moment you stumbled into our dorm room with your mom, you were so kind. You gave me a friendship, and a voice to match. You helped amplify all the love within my body. I know you don’t like to gloat on yourself, but Ellia. Ellia, you are so full of compassion. The way you always made sure everyone was included, the way you planned events that all of us could go to. The fact that you were never jealous of relationships, because the friendship was always there no matter what.”

“Aurora, stop,” My eyes glazed over again, my emotions not knowing quite how to handle this all. “You’re going to make me cry, again.” Aurora knew exactly what I needed, more time at this new home, finding my place in the world. My emotions had no idea how to handle it all: my hands were shaking, but for once not from anxiety. Nausea hit my stomach, but it was more like the feeling before Christmas, awaiting all the presents you were soon to gain. A pleasant kind of anxiousness. 

“I’m serious,” She grabbed my hands, slowing the twitching. Giving it a small squeeze, telling me that she had even more to say. “Do you remember when your mom left, that first day, and we talked about how Italy can change a person? How much more beautiful her soul appeared to become?”

“Yeah, of course I do. Some parts fuzzy, but I guess no one is perfect.” My ears were perked now, wondering where she was going with this conversation. 

“What I’m trying to say Ellia, is that Italy couldn’t change you. Your soul was already pure before. I know we all have flaws, and I wont say you’re perfect. No one is. But your soul reaches for others, even when you aren’t looking out for yourself. Even when that vile man tried to hurt you, you never stopped caring. You still checked up on me, when I was only trying to help you.” 

My heart was completely full now. There was no way to gather more in my body, no more open spots. Every section in my being was overbrimming with love, and gratefulness. Eden, back home, was my first friend. A starting point. A forever friend, and a guiding light. But Aurora was something else. She was an angel, aiding me in finding my worth. Showcasing to me that I had more in me than I wanted to believe, that I was worthy of other people treating me with kindness. More tears escaped my eyes, even more now. My heart felt like it was beating out of my chest, I couldn’t even begin to explain half of the things that my brain was racing through. Imagining what these weeks would be like. 

Midnight talks with Aurora, both of us discussing all of our trauma, no matter how small. Those nights falling into mornings, watching as the sun rises over the water. Laughing until we couldn’t feel our chest, as if six packs would come within a few hours. Going for boat rides, or eating even more food together. Her teaching me Italian, and learning even more from her relatives. Knowledge and passion, all wrapped up in one bow that would take place over a few weeks. 

“Thank you Aurora, you don’t know how badly I needed to hear that.” Placing both my hands on her cheek, almost as if caressing her, I made sure we made direct contact. We were no strangers to touching in a more intimate, best friend sense. She needed to know how much the words meant to me, even if I wasn’t able to express them outrightly. 

“You know I will always be here for you, always here when you need those words.” She touched my hands with her own, and brought them down between us. She dropped them, and grabbed my shoulders again, patting them gently. It reminded me of something a father would do before his son’s t-ball game. Almost laughable, but adoring all the same. “Now get going, your family is going to be so excited to see you again I’m sure.”

“Alright, I love you.” Once more, I squeezed her hand, trying my hardest to fit all my gratefulness in more physical gestures. 

“I love you too, my beautiful souled friend.” She squeezed right back, then allowed the hands to drop. 

My back turned on her, a smile still etched on my face. Tears begged to pool out, but I tried my hardest to keep them in. Words. How strong of an impact they had on my emotions, how quickly they could will my whole body to change. But enough tears had already spilled from my eyes, and I wasn’t eve ready for the multiple that would arrive when I came home and saw my mother and Eden. 

My feet forced my being to walk despite my brain still being stuck on the last conversation. Moving through security, and bag check, and everything else, I found myself with an hour left before my plane was set to board. Although I debated going to get something to eat, I knew I should just text Demetri. It had been long enough at this point. The longer the gap, the more suspicion he could gather.

Sighing gently, I pulled my phone out again. Trying to waste some time, I texted my mom and Eden that I would be boarding soon, and hoped to see them too. No answer from mom, but Eden responds immediately with an, ‘ _ excited to see you soon! miss you loads’  _ with a red heart emoji. Repeating the behavior, I sent three hearts back.

Once again, I typed in Demetri’s name into the top bar, and began to type. 

This time, I managed to hit the delete button less than I had this morning. After a few minutes, the final text was finished. 

‘ _ hey demetri, its ellia! just wanted to say hi since its been a while since we talked haha, hope youre doing well. im about to board the plane to go back home now! text me whenever you have a chance :)’  _

Tilting my head to the side, I reread the text over and over again. Whenever Eden would message me, she always typed in all lowercase. It always looked cuter and more simplistic, so I thought it was fitting for the occasion. That, along with the lack of real emoji made me feel softer and gentler as a human being. I think Aurora had already made me soft for the evening, my emotions not wanting to disappear anytime soon.

One more deep breathe. This was it then, allowing for Demetri, whatever he was, to take hold of me.

_ Send.  _ I clicked the arrow, trying to stop it from consuming my thoughts. 

The little whoosh sound comforted me, while all at the same time making me nervous. There was no point in being anxiety induced by a text message. I had to be honest with myself. If he was a vampire, or anything of the kind, he would kill me. There was little doubt about it. I was human, there was no way for us to coexist without some kind of pain or danger. 

Why was I walking closer into this trap? How stupid and idiotic how did that sound, oh my god. I sounded like a fanfiction, or some trashy romance novel. Running into the arms of danger.

But God Dammit, was I curious. Too much for my own good, that was for sure. But I couldn’t stop myself, running into whatever life he would give me. The attraction I felt to him was stronger than most feelings I normally had, and considering the ordeal Aurora already had me going through, I supposed that said a lot. 

Just then, the automated message went over the nearby speakers, implying it was time to board. Standing to my feet, I grabbed my carry on bag and stood in line, waiting to board.

From there, I took my seat in the plane, always preferring a window seat to everything else. Luckily, there were no layovers, so the ride wouldn’t be even more unbearingly long. Still exhausting, and enough time to get a plenty night full of rest, but not the worst thing in the world.

So, I pulled out another classic: Wuthering Heights. Love, love, and more love.

As sleep slowly succeeded to me, my eyes and consciousness fluttered in and out. The paragraphs lulled me to sleep, and the last few sentences before sleep consumed me finalized all the emotions that had been pooling in me, today alongside the last few weeks.

_ “It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning, or frost from fire.” _

* * *

Awakening with no outside force, and upon asking the next airplane attendant I saw (luckily for me, nearly everyone near me was close to sleeping, or had their headphones in), was pleased to find out that there was only a hour and a half left in the flight. I spent the next hour or so finishing my glass of water that I had asked for earlier, running to the bathroom, and speed reading a few more pages.

Before I even knew it, I was walking off the plane, America welcoming me home.

It felt like the photos or videos you would see on Facebook or other social media of family retuning. I came down the stairs, expecting to see both my mom and possibly Eden waiting for me.

Except it was only Eden, the biggest grin on her face. 

Racing over to her, we engulfed each other in a hug, my carryon falling to the ground.

We played a small game catch up on our way to the luggage claim, her asking me about the plane ride here. But I had to wonder if my mom got caught up in work once more, or if she was feeling ill and that’s why she couldn’t come.

“I hate to ruin the moment, or seem like I’m unhappy you're here, but where is my mom? Did she text you to let you know she wouldn’t be here? I thought you would be the surprise, not her.” A laugh emitted from my mouth, trying to play off the little bit of hurt I felt.

Aurora grabbed my luggage for me, just a small light blue case, enough to carry for these few weeks. Her soft smile explained it all.

“Work,” We both said at the same time. “I’m so sorry, Ellia. I knew she wanted to be here, but she told me she would text you to let you know the second she would be home, she was hoping it’d be as soon as possibly. But until then, I’ll get to be your company! You can spill all your love adventures and new friends!” She was definitely trying to uplay the situation, and make me feel better about it all.

It was hard to not be heartbroken after not being able to see my mom, one of my few rocks, as soon as I wanted. But I trusted that she was safe, and that we would see each other soon enough. That was all I could really ask for.

“It’s okay, honestly.” I smiled back, nodding my head as if reassuring her, “Now, cmon, let's get back to my house so we can finally talk about everything.” She grabbed my arm, leading me to the way of the parking garage. 

On the way to the car, I sneaked a glance at my phone, hoping for a text from my mother. That a miracle had happened, and she was already home, waiting for me.

Instead, it was Demetri.

A blush rose to my face, and I knew I couldn’t wait to tell Eden something. Holding it from her seemed right, and I knew I wouldn’t talk about all the research I had done, but she deserved to know of the new man. 

The message was simple, but lovely and allowed my heart to flutter all the same.

‘ _ Ellia—it’s so pleasant to finally hear from you. Hope your travels will be safe, and keep in contact. I will be awaiting your arrival back to Italy with open arms and a smile. -Demetri’ _

As Eden helped me place my belongings into her run down vehicle, full of love and memories, I stole a glance at her. Our eyes both carried some versions of our own secrets, begging to be released. 

We both had plenty to catch up on. 


	12. Chapter Eleven

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York. / Volterra, Italy.

As we sat in the car, heat just starting to kick on to combat the harsh winter weather, I lacked the words necessary to start a conversation. How do you even start to talk about your first semester of college with your best friend who you thought you’d never part with? We had shared talks through texting throughout the weeks, phone calls for big events, but so many gaps were missing. Some memories I had waited to share in person, for the feelings couldn’t be conveyed as properly through a text message. The facial expressions and emotions were much easier to showcase as I looked into Eden’s eyes, rather than only hearing her voice, or no voice at all.

The car wasn’t warm yet though, and one of us had to start talking eventually.

“Where do we even begin, huh?” The words fumbled out of my mouth carelessly, as we both made eye contact with each other, smiles dancing fainting upon our lips.  _ I guess I was going to be the one to start us.  _

“Honest to God, I never thought it would be so hard to start talking about everything with you,” She replied back. “It just feels like so much has happened and I don’t even know what I’ve told you and what I haven’t.”

“That’s okay, I know it’s the exact same with me too.” My lips parted to give a smile, trying my hardest to muster up all the words that I thought would pour out so quickly prior to this moment. 

“But, I do think we should start with the mysterious man that’s obviously been taking up a lot of your brain power recently. I want to hear everything! Name? Age? Is he studying at your University too? He has to be a real keeper if he could gather your attention.” Eden shifted the conversation with little issue, and I had no choice but to follow along right with her. 

“Well, his name is Demetri…” Eden interrupted me before I could completely finish everything I wanted to say. I thought she was actually curious about this man, not wanting to disrupt me from trying to explain him. 

“Oh, shit, that’s definitely not your usual traditional white boy name, huh? Do you have any cute pics together? Selfies? I wanna see what this cute Italian boy with a name like  _ Demetri _ looks like.” She had a smile on her face, hands coming together at her stomach, as if a child awaiting a present. She seemed genuinely excited for me, now that I was branching out and finding someone. I didn't blame her for being so interested in this new man, and I knew I felt the same about whatever it was she would have to tell me. Maybe it was just her excitement reaching me, then, and not her trying to annoy me through interruptions.

“Oh my God, no,” Thinking about the idea, Demetri and I didn't resemble a traditional relationship. No selfies together, or even the normal amount of texting. Very formal, and almost old-fashioned like. “Not currently in the selfies phase. More like the, just starting to talk, but I’m not really sure where we stand or if he has any kind of emotions for me kind of phase.”

“Seriously? That’s so unlike you. I’m so used to you wanting to know most of the details about someone and your relationship with them rather than just letting things slide right by. You’ve always been like that with most guys. ” Her eyebrow on one side rose, and she seemed like she was questioning if she had heard right. The last part felt like a slight dig though, her almost trying to bring up some memories of the past.  _ Jesus Fuck, why was I so on edge today? _

A laugh nearly escaped my mouth, concealing my internal monologue. She was right. I had found a lot more details out about Demetri, and knew a lot more about him than what he probably had imagined I had. There was a tendency in me, a deepened desire to know as much as I possibly could about something, or someone, before I made a decision. I was currently in that process with Demetri. 

“He’s really something, I can tell you that much.” She nodded along, agreeing with the statement despite not even knowing half of it. 

At this point the car was plenty warm. As if reading my mind, she started backing out of the parking garage without second thought, and we started the ride back to my house, where I could only assume we were traveling to. 

On the ride home, I tried to spill as much about Demetri without letting out anything too revealing.  _ You know, like the fact that he was a goddamn vampire, for one.  _ The more I talked about him, the more a gentle pang could be felt in my chest.  _ I missed him _ . It felt weird to admit that, yet, freeing. As if I was coming face to face with the emotions I had harbored just below the surface. The truth was, I had an attraction to him, much more intense than just a simple crush. And, I didn't mind it. Part of him felt like home. Eden talked little, beyond comments and laughs. We both knew she had plenty of time to spill as the night went on. 

The drive continued, and so did the chats. About the night at the lake, and how kind he was. How he had kissed my hands, and I hadn’t been able to escape the blush on my cheeks. Almost as if I was spilling my whole love story to the audience, finally coming to terms with everything that was bundled up within my body. I could only hope Demetri had even an ounce of the feelings I had for him.  _ Maybe that was why I felt so anxious, pissed off about nearly every word that came from Eden’s mouth. I was missing the normal amount of comfort that Demetri gave me from day to day, where from the shadows of buildings or being right with him.  _

I was lost with my internal discussions, contemplating this fact more and more. But then, the places around me looked more familiar, closer to our destination. And then, we were there. 

There my home was. Warm and welcoming, yet missing such a crucial part of what made it my own home. My mother. The snow on the rooftop completed the look, reminding me of the coldness that would await me outside the comfort of the door. Snow. The whiteness was such a stark contrast to the blackness of the gravel blow us, to the deep red of my front door. To the greenery of the trees that surrounded my home, almost as if placing it into its own little cottage like area. Although I would have loved to admire the nature around me, snow was cold, and the longer I stayed in it, the more it dared to take off my fingers. So inside we traveled, Eden carrying my single piece of luggage while I hauled my carry on. 

We both slipped our coats off, slugging them over the side of my bed before taking a seat on the floor. The shag carpet was a familiar feeling, unlike the uncomfortable tile that greeted me during the school months. My hands grabbed fistfuls of it between my fingers, almost as if I was trying to ground myself right there, attempting to keep my feelings in check. An aura of wistfulness for Demetri, almost as if this was his own hair, and I could be running my own fingers through it as this very moment. Maybe when I returned back to his side, there would be a chance for such a thing. Some kind of intimacy. Maybe, if I was lucky enough, lips would touch lips and...

A sigh escaped Eden’s mouth, but it wasn’t full of exhaustion or grief. It had snapped me out of my own childlike daydreams. How many times we had both sat here, when the weather outside was unfriendly to us, and just talked. Boys, girls, drama, homework, or whatever had occupied our brains at that current moment. It was another slice of home that was welcoming us right back.

My eyes glanced over Eden’s figure, arms extended behind herself, holding her own body up. She rolled her shoulders back, and I could hear a slight crack, her neck following soon after. My eyes ran over her hair, a few inches shorter than usual, and the lack of freckles that overtook her face. Summer always brought out the warmth in our bodies, with the slightly lighter hair, slightly tanned skin. 

She was wearing a loose black v-neck t-shirt, showcasing her collarbones which stood out more now than usual due to her position. Her chest bore a necklace, but it wasn’t one which I recognized.

My hands went to twiddle with my own, still the same that she had given me as my parting gift. There were very few pieces of jewelry that followed me to Italy, but the gift that Eden had chosen, and the laughter and comfort that it had granted me had to be the one to come with. Personally, I had neglected to take the necklace off, unless I was afraid of it being tarnished. Those occasions were few and far between, but I suppose it was clear now that it wasn’t the same for her. 

“Your necklace is pretty, where did you get it from?” Attempting to phrase the question subtly, without allowing my small amount of anger to poke through, I wanted to showcase more interest in the object. The chain shone beautifully, and I truly was curious about the story behind it, but part of my fear of being forgotten had to convey itself somewhere. The fear of being forgotten, if I had to even guess. 

Her hands instinctively went up to grab the small silver chain that dangled right between her collarbones. It was similar enough to the one we had shared, but instead of being a completely diamond filled circle, it was the outline of one. The middle portion left empty, probably just large enough to stick a finger through when one went to fumble with it.

Her face blushed a light pink, but instead of it being in a more romantic sense, she almost appeared embarrassed. As if I had found out a secret she had been keeping away from me.  _ Well, that was more than obvious.  _

“Oh, you haven’t noticed it before? I’ve had it for a while now, I guess I just don’t wear it often enough.” The lie rolled anxiously off her lips. 

Wait, seriously? Was this the kind of excuse she was going to give me? “I call bullshit,” Although I disliked picking fights with her, I knew I couldn’t just let such an obvious lie be given without trying to fight back. “Eden, we’ve been friends for way too long for me to not remember a necklace that clearly looks brand new. It hasn’t even lost a bit of its sparkle.” Friends were meant to do that, call out each other’s bullshit, especially when it was so clear to the other parties. Even though I was annoyed with her, I hoped that she didn't take it the wrong way, despite the fact I was more than likely to hurt her feelings in some way, shape, or form. 

Eden could be delicate in nature, almost as if she would break in any instance. She had lived a life of having to be constantly strong at home, that in each other’s presence she let down those barriers. Yet, here I was, not respecting them. 

Her eyes were cast downward, and I knew I had caught her in the lie. I was less hurt about the fact that she had traded necklaces, although a small part of my jealousy did twinge at that notion. More so, I was upset at the fact that she had clearly lied to me, and still tried to cover it up when I had brought it to her attention. 

“Uhm,” She began, eyes never leaving the floor. “I have something to tell you.”

This felt like something larger than just telling me about a new boyfriend. Her body language poured out anxiety at every single seam. I simply nodded, urging her to go on. Part of me was intrigued, part of me still disappointed in her not talking about this before. All of our calls and texts and not a single word about whatever this was? That didn't seem like friendship. 

_ Ellia, snap out of it. Friends don’t have to be tied at the seams. You’re jealous, get out of it already.  _ I tried to mentally calm myself, but parts of my heart strings still tugged with anger, paint, almost as if I was cheated of something. 

“I know you’ve talked a lot about Demetri tonight, and oh my God am I so happy for you. I’ve never seen you this happy, seriously. I hope one day I’m able to meet him.” Her voice was faltering, a slight crack rolling out every few words of her lips when she spoke, as if she was going to cry at any moment. 

“But?” I wouldn’t doubt that she was on the edge of tears, she always was. 

“No but’s there, just my own add on. You found Demetri, and well, I found someone else too. That’s who I got this necklace from.” Was it selfish of me to be upset with her? My best friend, not telling me the whole story and I was becoming angry, angsty almost, at the thought of her not alerting me sooner.

_Jesus Christ, Ellia, you were doing the same damn thing to her. Not telling her the whole truth, and keeping portions away from her._ This was most definitely selfish of me to think so, but I couldn’t help it. 

“I figured as much. I’m not sure any man could resist you. What’s his name?” I tried to keep the conversation lighthearted, still not understanding why she appeared so delicate, so  _ fragile _ about the concept. I didn't want to piss her off, or make her the tears that hung at her eyelids fall onto her own cheeks. Although I may have been pissed, I couldn’t manage to hurt her more than she seemed. 

“Uh…” A mumble had rolled off her tongue, far too quiet for me to understand even the tiniest bit.

“You’ve got to speak louder than that for me to understand you.” I retorted, a laugh emitting from my lips. After it was released, I was worried it seemed too harsh, not caring enough. Still couldn’t shake the tiniest bit of resentment that was lingering around. 

“It’saherandhernameisMaria.” She spoke out in one single breath.

All the breathes she had been holding in released at once, and I could feel my own catch in my throat.

_ Well, this was something I wasn’t quite expecting. _

Despite my initial shock, and brief pause in character, I leaned forward to wrap my arms around her. If liking women was a part of her, then hell, I would love her for it. If it made her happy, then it made me just as happy. Everything I had been feeling: the anger, resentment, pain, disappeared. Simply dissipated although it had never been there in the first place. Gone, like everything I thought I had known about Eden’s personal sex life, I suppose. 

_ It was called personal for a reason, dumbass.  _ I had to remind myself of that fact. 

“I wasn’t sure when I was going to tell you, and this certainly was not a part of the plan. But, here we are now, I guess.” Her voice choked and cracked even more so with these words. 

“How long have you known? If you don’t mind me asking.” Now I was more anxious of coming off as too intrusive, and that was the least I could do. I couldn’t even begin to think about how gentle this subject had to be for her, at least right now. 

“Forever, I think. But only when I met Maria did I come to terms with it all. I have to tell you about how I met her, I really do think you guys could be friends. You would absolutely adore her. She loves all the books that we fell in love with too. That’s how we met actually, in a library, she was…” Her thoughts started to ramble, and all I could do was listen. I knew that was what she needed right now. Someone to simply listen.

And with all she had done for me, it was the smallest action I could give back to her. 

The night faded just as easily as most of ours did. Eden filled up most of the conversation, and I could just see how her eyes lit up when she talked of Maria. How kind she was to her, yet how she pushed her out of her own bubble. Made her adventurous, and happy. This was the first real relationship she had ever had with a female, and watching how differently she described women from men, I couldn't even become more happy for her. This is what she deserved. 

Eventually, the lights had been turned off, and we had both found ourselves laying on my floor, piles of blankets and pillows amongst ourselves. Not our usual downstairs couch setup, but it would be too harshly cold for us there right now. And after everything that was spilled in this room it felt wrong to leave it. 

Laying in the darkness that decorated my room, Eden’s faint snores accompanied the sound of the wind flowing through the leaves and trees outside. My eyes were shut, but sleep didn't follow me along right away. Rather, I thought again about Eden, and all that she had told me that very same evening.

But, I had to rethink my stance on feeling so attacked by her not desiring to tell me the full story right away. If Demetri had given me a necklace, and I had bore it on my chest instead of the one Eden had given me, would I tell the truth? Partially, of course. But still, there were some details I was positive I’d never be able to discuss with her, no matter how close we would consider each other. It felt like a betrayal of my relationship with Demetri, whatever that could be called, at least. 

She felt the same way, I was sure of it. Coming out to me was a huge step in her life story, and on top of that, finding a significant other was an even larger one. She didn't want to betray that kind of relationship, and I knew she wasn’t sure exactly how I would react back either. There was no way to be even more proud of her. Proud of her story so far, and how much she had been able to grow and find out about herself. She seemed so much more comfortable in who she was as a person now, and it was clear to see how much happier in her own skin she was. 

Despite feeling jealous, and partially angry for not being the first person she told, at the core of my heart the pride and joy I felt for her outweighed any other emotion that wanted to take hold.

As a smile dancing along my lips, I felt the exhaustion from traveling and talking all night take hold, and sleep took me alongside itself quickly. 

And even though he had already taken up most of my working brain power, Demetri was the only thing to fill my dream world. 

* * *

Should he text her again? Although phones were not new, or anything even close to it to most humans, to someone who had lived far before touch screens or text messages had existed, it was a daunting kind of task to take on, and that was saying something for someone who tracked and killed other vampires for a life.

There were so many apps, so many things he could waste his time upon if he desired, but at his core he knew his one mission, the only thing that ever made him check this newfound device in the first place. 

Aro had allowed him, and only him, to purchase a cellphone after learning of the human’s desire to message him. Demetri believed that it would speed up the time in order to enchant Ellia enough to come with him, to become one in Volterra. On times where he was unable to meet her, or she was out of town—like the current moment—it would be the perfect opportunity to learn more about her, even if it was simple messages.

Their last few words to each other, shared when she had left for her hometown, had stuck with him. It had only been a few days since then, but Demetri craved to hear more from her. Their last meeting, and all of the affection that had been showcased there, left him feeling on edge.

Every passing moment that he had been with her these last months ignited more emotions in his body, even more so when he could only watch her, but not communicate with her. He noted all the different males that walked alongside her, all the ones that gave her passing glances. 

He was no mind reader like Edward, no future-seer like Alice, but his imagination ran wild when he saw the looks they gave her. Demetri wanted her, and no one else was allowed to have her. He was sure of it. There was no other human being that would be able to take his place, that sense increasing now that they had spent an evenings together. Further on this fact was how easy it would be for him to track her. All he had to do was stop, and focus. Listen, almost, for the way her body moved, the tenures in her own being, and the scent that, of course, aided him. The more his brain was occupied with her, the way her bronze hair fell just slightly past her shoulders, and the way her olive skin appeared soft, with gentle scars lining some areas of her elbows and knees, testimony to her clumsiness that he had already caught on about. Seeing your soulmate, human to human was one thing, he could imagine. But seeing it from a vampires perspective, vision so much more enhanced, was like glimpsing upon a new world. All the beauty, amplified. All the scars, or stretch marks, or blemishes, only appearing more stunning, as if growing together to showcase one's life story. 

She had to have felt the connection. At this current moment, he thought, she has to know that there is something between them, something much stronger than finding some kind of physical attraction. This ran much stronger, as if it united their souls, all the atoms that had created their bodies. Every time they had touched, there was a lingering sense of purpose, of belonging. Not electricity, like some novels dared to talk about. No, it was much more powerful than electricity could ever be. It coursed through his own body, illuminating all of his desire to sink his teeth right into her neck. But yet, when she was weak, and blood was coming out from her own body—this time when she had cut herself on the rock—he couldn’t force himself to do such a thing. His initial instinct was to protect her, even if he felt his eyes becoming darker as the slight amount of blood released out.

He had to hunt again that night, despite having already done it the previous evening. He knew if he were to be around her for longer periods of times, he had to find a way to control himself. How did Edward even attempt to do such a thing? 

The one thing he was sure of, however, was that he couldn’t last much longer without seeing her. The month that had passed between their initial encounter and the full fledged meeting was difficult as is, but now that he had learned more about her life, the small delicate details that made her who she was, he couldn’t simply let her go. Especially not for these next three weeks as she was able to experience her home life, and he was left without her, lacking even the ability of being able to keep an eye on her from above.

He hated feeling so intrusive of her every movement on the days where he looked down from rooftops, while him and Felix shared so little words. When it came to missions, this was standard. Watch and listen, learn all you could, and make a decision. Those were criminals, worthy of whatever pain was soon to come upon them. Ellia didn't deserve that. He wanted her to still have a life, free of whatever trauma he was sure to give her in the future. Being a vampire was not something most desired to become, losing your soul and if you went long enough without feeling them, your trace of human emotions. He was sure to hate forcing her to become one of their own, but he knew it had to be done. He wanted to spend the rest of existence with her right by her side. 

So, he made the decision to text her first this time, now that her number was finally saved onto his phone—the only number that was currently saved.

Where to even start? He had very little issue with words, they normally flowed so easily out of him. Years upon years of perfecting the art, trying to learn and relearn the slight nuisances that evolved from it as humans did. Some of his phrases, or little words here and there had stuck with him for quite a while, and he was sure they wouldn’t leave him anytime soon either. But, nevertheless, when it came to writing this text, as simple and short as it would end up being, the feat seemed too large for his ability. 

But, he persisted. 

He attempted to mimic what he had read in articles online, or even the little that Ellia had given him. Short and sweet, right to the point, but yet trying to leave something to the imagination. Give the other person something to grab at, some kind of question or mystery left to answer.

He had no idea what kind of question he would even ask her, how to even start the conversation. A ‘Hey’? Was that too standard? Too simple?

‘ _ Jesus, Demetri, just get it over with already. Start the text. Ask her anything, something.’  _

He typed, then deleted, then typed again. What time would it be where she was now? Doing the math backwards, it left him with one in the morning. There was a possibility that she wasn’t even awake, should he factor that in?

He couldn’t remember the last time he had asked himself so many questions, rather than just acting upon the whims and natural tendencies he had grown accustomed to. This had to be distracting from his work, all the missions he was sure would be awaiting him soon enough. A girl, distracting him. It seemed so... _ human.  _ So  _ mundane  _ of him. 

If he dared to think as much, part of him enjoyed it, almost.

But back to the text message.

Letting out a sigh, he decided to just let go of whatever nerves was holding him in place, and take the first step. The final message read somewhat along these lines:

_ Ellia, I hope this reaches you in good health. My apologies for the late message, although it’s early enough for me. I hope your plane ride was safe, and that your family and friends have treated you well enough. Can not wait to see you when you return back to this second home—if you would call it that. xDemetri _

And them, without trying to overthink it too much, he pressed send. And off it went. Through however many miles it traveled, through the lands and ocean until it landed directly into her lap. 

Even thinking about the distance between himself and the female was overbearing. He knew that the bond between blood singers was strong, and intense, but this was something no one could have prepared him for. 

Part of his body almost felt as if he would break, like he was physically weaker without having her near. He was already aware of how much more mentally lacking he was, present by just how long it took him to type a stupid text message. He felt detached from reality, as if his existence was lacking some kind of purpose. Before her, it was clear. Track, stalk, kill, repeat. Throw hunt in there for good measure as well. But now he desired for Ellia to be a part of that, to be a portion of his everyday routine.

Dropping his phone on his bed, which he frequently wondered why he even owned, rather than for sheer comfort on days where he didn’t feel like wandering the castle’s halls or reeking havoc on the twins with Felix. Reeking havoc seemed a little harsh, he would suppose. It was more like mindless tricks here and there, just trying to annoy them enough. But it always ended the same way, with Jane threatening to utilize her power, and then always cowering out of it. It was rare for her to use her favorite toy outside of the battlefield. That would be like purposely harming your own siblings, which may have appeared fun on the outside, but knowing the repercussions of what Aro, their own Master, would have said or done, was enough to keep them quiet and far less than amusing. 

Looking around his room, he imagined what it would be like with a human around in the same space. He was more than aware of Heidi’s and Chelsea’s planning of Ellia’s room, which he hoped she would occupy sooner rather than later. That had yet to be figured out.

The layout of nearly everyone’s room was the same, just the items and sometimes the colors that were found inside it changed from person to person. Jane preferred a deep red, nearly blood colored, similar to her own eyes close to feeding time. Alec was black, with some shades of gray tossed about, enough to match the same shade of his fog that emitted from his hands when necessary. Felix was all of the above, never bright, but never the same. He wondered what color Ellia would choose when she would detail the rest of her living space. He hoped she never saw it, and would rather her spend time with himself, in his own room. 

He glanced upon the couches, velvet and a deep plum color that lay near the fireplace, pushed promptly up against the wall. On the adjacent wall, there was a large window, nearly half the size of the wall. If one was to look outside, all they would see was green. Trees upon trees upon trees. Just beyond that, the wall that kept them all so safe. A comfort layer. 

Underneath the window, was a small desk, where bookshelves closed it in from both sides. The library constantly supplied him with new reads, even though it felt like he had read, and reread most novels. His favorite? Constantly changing. Personally he preferred dystopian novels, and Fahrenheit 451 satisfied that. He remembered being alive when both 1984 and 451 were published, and how much he relished in their pages. Although they were newer than most of the books that appeared worn down in his shelves, he admired the writer's abilities nevertheless. 

Looking back at his bed, he found that he had traveled slowly through his room. Staring everything down, imagining Ellia in their presence. 

How she may lay in his couch, warming up by the fire that provided him with no warmth. How she may sit at the desk, possibly reading, maybe writing if she enjoyed that much. Even looking at his own bed, it was hard to not think of her laying there, with him possibly right next to her. Laying together while she slept. Being able to feel her within his own arms. Maybe his own lips against hers, slowing traveling down to her neck, right above the vein there. He could almost  _ feel _ her pulse racing. 

The more he thought of it, the more he craved it. Without even realizing it, he was back in his own bed, propped up on one side of his chest, phone in hand. Messages app opening, awaiting some kind of response. 

Soon enough, her own body would replace this phone, and he wouldn’t have it wait hours for a response. She would be here, and they would be each other’s. 


	13. Chapter Twelve

Winter 2014.

Volterra, Italy. / Rochester, New York.

“Demetri, please just let me help you.” Heidi whined, placing her hands on her hips. Demetri sat on a chair in the library, his own hands tangled with his hair, gently tugging on the ends. He was hunched over, Heidi standing near one of the towering bookcases, a smile playing at the ends of her lips. She had never seen Demetri under so much stress from such a small task. 

The male vampire had been sitting in the same spot for what felt like hours, desperately trying to brainstorm ideas of what to get Ellia for a Christmas present for when she would return home in the new year. Over the last few days, they had frequently chatted about the small details of their day, called every few days just to talk with fewer complications and be able to hear back from each other immediately, and at one point she had even asked to FaceTime, but Demetri knew that wasn’t a possibility. Learning how to even text was enough of an issue itself, on top of the fact that any vampires nearby could already spy on his calls with the humans. FaceTime seemed too risky, his own surroundings not being anywhere near normal for someone who looked his age. From these conversations, however, Demetri had grown too attached to Ellia to  _ not _ get her a present for Christmas. It only seemed fitting, and he knew that it would aid in bringing the two closer in the end. As the months passed, he had increasingly less time to bring her home before Aro would get impatient and step in himself. 

“Okay, fine.” Demetri reluctantly agreed to the idea, hoping that it would at least get him farther than where he currently was. Sitting and staring at every book on the shelves, counting the tiny bits of dust particles, praying that some perfect gift would just stumble into his lap. “But I really don’t know what you’ll have to offer me. You haven’t even met the girl, let alone have any idea what kind of things she would like.” Even though Heidi and Demetri got along together, and had a closer bond than most Volturi members, (that was, of course, besides the usual grouping of the twins, Feli, and Demetri himself) he wasn’t quite sure of her judgment. She would only know what Demetri would tell her, having never even seen a photo of this female, or having any inkling of the things she desired deep within her soul. 

“I may not know her, or have ever seen her personally, but trust me when I tell you Chelsea and I are going to pick the best possible gift for her!” She appeared so enthused at the idea of shopping for someone else, added onto the fact that she seemed to know exactly what he was thinking about, Demetri had to give her a smile and an approving nod. Even in a castle such as theirs, the Christmas season could have the largest impact on each other’s, individuals seeming more cheery than their usual self. It was a stark contrast to the summer months, with the sun in constant ablaze, threatening their very existence. Today being Christmas Eve, the season was nearly at its highest peak. The castle was decorated in gold and red, most friends and romantic partners readying to swap gifts soon.

“You’re going to  _ help me  _ pick the best gift. Not just pick it yourself.” Demetri rolled his eyes despite the smile, and his hands finally released their grip on his hair. Now they fell upon his lap, and he finally shook himself clear to look at Heidi now. He had always thought of her as stunning, one of the most beautiful vampires that he had ever met. But after resting his eyes upon Ellia, any kind of romantic tension he may have felt for her simply disappeared. He was no longer interested in pursuing anything with her, or anyone else for the matter. 

Over the hundreds of years that Demetri had lived as a vampire, he had found his own fair share of love interests. Nothing ever serious, or lasting more than a few months. But living as an immortal without finding others to spend it with didn't seem like a life worth living. With Ellia in the picture now, however, he could finally see a relationship lasting for longer than just as long as the sex was good. He wanted more from her than just mindless make out sessions and late night meetups. He wanted her, and not just for her body or the things they could provide each other, but for her soul and passion. Her interest and wants, her quirks and her soul. He wanted  _ her. All of it. _

“Oh yeah, whatever you say, lover boy.” Heidi’s words snapped him out of his own small trail of thoughts. Back to the more pressing issue at hand: the present. “This will be the most fun we’ve had since shopping for her room; which by the way, I’m still waiting to finally find her in it instead of it laying around as empty as it was. But we’ll need some guidance, please. Do you have any idea of what kinds of things she likes? Like anything at all?” The playful banter was fairly indicative of how many upper guard Volturi members felt. The excitement of knowing that they would soon be greeted with a new human, so closely within their reach was tempting, daring, and everything they came in search of when they joined. Every passing day that she wasn’t brought in was another day of anxiously awaiting her arrival, yearning to gaze upon the fresh blood that they weren’t able to drain. 

“I know a few details here and there.” His mind wandered to the small details that he had begun to learn about his soulmate, all the nights they had spent texting and learning small facts about each other, becoming closer, even just as friends. 

“Such as? If you're going to take my help, you may as well at least give me something.” Her arms moved from her hips to across her chest, a smirk playing on her lips. No red lipstick for today. Most of her more seductive outfits were reserved for when she went to retrieve humans for meal time. Today she bore no makeup, but no vampire would ever need it. She was just as stunning without it. 

“I know she likes jewelry, I mean, at least she likes it enough to wear it. She has this small diamond necklace that matches with her earrings. I’ve only ever seen her with those on. She wears a lot of sweatshirts now that the weather is colder, always very simple with a few words on them. She uses the sleeves to cover her hands so that they don’t get cold late at night.” Demetri kept fumbling with his hair, not seeming to feel completely relieved even though moments before his hands were in his lap. They couldn't quite find the right way to rest. He didn't think he would feel at peace until he was able to give whatever present he had to Ellia, and finally be able to see her smile in person once more. It had already been too long, his body and mind were starting to crave her all over again. 

“Okay, this is a start. What else? Does she listen to music, like any kinds of books, what’s she majoring in?” Heidi decided to take a seat across from him, crossing her ankles. She leaned forward, becoming more invested in the conversation.

“Whenever we call she always has music playing in the background, but nothing that she’s ever really talked about. At least no musical artists come to mind. She talks frequently about books now that she’s back home and has time to read them. Recently she’s read more classical novels, she said she’s trying to work her way through them, so she feels more immersed in culture that isn’t her own, like how she feels when she studies here. She’s majoring in international relations, but doesn’t think she wants to work on a high government level.” Ellia loved to talk about education, and it was clear to see the passion in her eyes, or hear it in her voice. Demetri wasn’t sure how he could be able to convince her to leave her studies to come to Volterra—but that would be an issue for a later time. 

“Well, how about we start with this and as we shop together maybe you’ll see something that feels perfect for her. How does that sound?” Heidi asked him, no longer smirking when she saw him nod back, almost in a trance like state. Seeing Demetri under such high stress was unlikely, seeing him flustered over a female even more rare. It was clear to anyone who had paid even the smallest bit of attention to Demetri to see how much he had changed over the last few months since meeting the human.

Some vampires were supportive of the idea. Felix, having spent the most amount of time with Demetri, and even being one of the only other vampires to meet the human, was the most empathetic. He could understand why Demetri had to do what he had, and why he was so invested in her. The twins felt similar, but in slightly less higher regards. They were confused as to why Demetri would be distracted from work over someone as small, as inconvenient as a human. But having gone through Isabella’s and Edward’s own situation, it was not something completely foreign. They trusted Demetri’s judgement. 

It was clear that some of the females in Demetri’s life, namely the ones that he had parktook in some kinds of sexual motives, were jealous. They lacked the attention that they had once gathered so easily, and now felt like an empty hole was starting to form. Most of them, however, knew that finding your bloodsinger was not something you could fight, and attempted to be happy for him nevertheless.  _ Attempted to, at least.  _

After a small break in talking, Heidi decided to move the conversation forward again. She was up from her chair, staring out the window onto the city beyond the walls. Demetri hadn't even noticed how quietly she had moved, considering the lack of heels that normally overtook her feet. “The city is dark today, why don’t we leave now. We’ll have a few hours before the shops close for the holiday. It doesn’t appear as though we’ll be needed for anything in the castle hopefully, either. The streets will be crowded from Christmas Eve, but it’s nothing we can’t handle. It may even be peaceful to see all the lights.” Her eyes never met his own, rather just surveying the weather outside. He knew that her mind more than likely wandered to the concept of meeting her own blood singer one day, finally being able to find her soulmate. Maybe full of the streets of people, all preparing for the big day tomorrow, she would find them. He knew she could hope, at least. 

“Fine.” Demetri mumbled back lowly, knowing she would be able to hear it anyways. 

“I’ll go get Chelsea! Maybe even Afton can come, so you won't be so completely lonely with the both of us.” Heidi made her way to leaving the library, her cheery self returning once more. She stopped by Demetri and although he was no longer hunched over, his hands returned to his hair again. Tugging and pulling at every single strand, yet the shape always stayed as though it had been styled perfectly. She rested a hand on his shoulder, and he released the death grip on his hair. 

“God, no. I’m not sure I can handle watching another couple be in love knowing that I am unable to have that with Ellia yet. She’s too far away for my liking.” He sounded somewhat childish, caring and showing such emotion to someone he hardly knew besides surface level. He was unable to help it, however, knowing the linkage between the two of them too powerful to ever overcome. 

“Seriously, Demetri? You sound so dramatic right now. I could even compare you to Isabella at this current moment, so blinded by love.” The dig hit Demetri right where it was meant to. Comparing him to someone who was once a fragile human, so in love that they would risk their own life for another was not on his bucket list of things to accomplish in this lifetime. 

A groan escaped his lips. “Just go get them. I will go gather permission from Marcus.” He stood up himself, moving his joints around as if to crack them. He had been sitting in that same spot for hours before Heidi had even approached him to demand helping. He was grateful she had, even if he was unable to convey it through his stress. Who knew how much longer he could have been sitting there if she didn't. 

“You’ve lived here for how long and you’re still asking for permission? For lack of better expressions: grow up.” Heidi was right at the door now, a small laugh escaping her lips. 

“You know I could never. Just go and get them before I decide to take you to the training grounds.” A soft smile played at his own lips, the joking tone of his words clear, despite there being some hints of truth in them. 

Heidi left the room quickly after. Her own abilities were not found on the fighting end, and she knew she would be unable to take Demetri any day of the week. Her own graces were found within words and people, never struggling there, even in her own mortal life. She did enjoy their playful banter, however, and was even more excited to be shopping for a human that she soon hoped to meet. Possibly in another life, Alice and her would have both been incredible friends, their love for shopping and other higher than most of their own peers. 

* * *

The group had spent the last two hours attempting to shop for the human. Demetri had found a few things that had perked his interest, but nothing that would stand up to his impossibly high standards. Right now, the group of three, who had gladly been accompanied by Afton looking for some time away from the Volturi building and with his lover on such a holiday, were in a jewelry shop. After walking through numerous antique shops, boutiques, and other various places so that the females could pick up a few articles they found fitting enough for their tastes, he had settled on what to get Ellia. Nothing music related, or even any kind of clothing, although there were a few sweatshirts he noted that she may enjoy one day when she herself would shop in these various stores, hand in hand with himself. But that was for another time. At the current time, however, Demetri was torn between getting Ellia a ring or a bracelet.   
A ring felt too formal, too nice for their relationship being in such a stage, lacking any kind of romantic intention, at least for now. But a bracelet could easily be broken, considering how clumsy he knew Ellia was. If she would fall on concrete, she could snap the bracelet right in half. Although a ring may also not sustain the damage, he trusted it slightly more than a bracelet that could so easily slip off the wrist or anything else of the sorts. 

So, with Heidi and Chelsea’s guidance, he picked a ring that fit his standards, surprising the entire group, including Demetri himself after the hours he spent saying no to any ideas the females tried to give him. The ring that he fell in love with reminded him of the earrings that she normally sported, and the necklace that had always glowed when he saw her. It brought him back to that first night, to seeing the sparkles from the diamond up so high in the treetops. Just observing her, falling in love for the first time. So they picked the ring out, and were currently purchasing it with the Volturi’s cards that each member was given, full of money that most members would never even dream of using up fully. 

At that same moment, a small buzz could be heard from Demetri’s inner coat pocket. All three other eyes, dark brown in their contact haze, stared at him. The phone only ever rang for one individual: Ellia. Demetri excused himself out of the store, and attempted to step as far away from the grouping as possible, hoping that their ears wouldn’t be able to pick up whatever it was Ellia wanted to talk about. 

Glancing at his phone screen, he saw he had a few missed text messages from her from the last few hours, most more recent than that. He could address those after he got off the phone with her. Pushing the object up to his ear, he clicked accept.

“Ellia?” He inquired, a smile already arising onto his face just at the very thought of talking to his blood singer. He disliked how much his behavior could change just by the very way in which she breathed, how weak minded she had made him become. But truly, he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

There was a small pause before she began to speak herself. 

“Hi...Demetri...I-I just want to—wanted to call you and say hi. I miss...talking to you...and seeing your...beautiful face in person...Yo—you always look so pretty...to-to me.” Ellia’s voice slurred words together, multiple grammatical mistakes becoming clear to Demetri at once. In the background of the call he could hear music playing, but a lack of people. The smile was wiped off his face immediately. 

It was only 2 P.M. where she lived, why was she already so tipsy speaking, but yet not at a party? His worries began to rise slightly as his mind started to put together any possibilities.

“Are you doing okay? Where are you? Have you been drinking?” The last question could have answered itself. This isn't the normal Ellia, she never sounded like this. The slurring, the noises from the background of her stumbling around, things being knocked over. 

“I am a-at home. Don't worry...about m-me.” Demetri could at least believe her first sentence. He didn't hear any other voices in the background, just her own clumsy and drunk self. But there was no way in hell that he was just going to stop worrying about her. In all his nights of or days of watching her, he had only seen her have a drink here or there, most of the time not even finishing it. She didn't seem at risk for overdoing it like she had today. Nevermind the fact that it was only mid-day where she was. Something had to be really wrong. 

“Ellia, this isn’t safe for you. You need to stop drinking now, okay? Talk to me. Tell me what’s wrong. ” Worry laced his every word, and he held the phone even closer to his ear. Considering the ability that his ears gave him, he still strained to hear every word she was speaking. She wasn't quite whispering, but was speaking at no normal volume. He needed her to stop, to stay safe. Having her make these reckless mistakes was tearing at his every being. He wanted to find her right away. Track her to her own house, hold her in his arms, and make sure that she was safe. 

“What are you gonna do about it,  _ vampire boy? _ ” Ellia let out a laugh that overpowered her body, with a few coughs coming out at the end. She had been drinking for some time now, or least way too much within a small time that inhibited her from sounding like her normal self. She laughed as though she had just told the funniest joke in the whole entire world, and the coughs choked out, making her voice even more raspy. 

_What did she just say? Vampire boy?_ _Was he really hearing things right?_ If he had a heart beat, he knew it would have stopped right there. Ellia continued to speak, noticing the lack of words spoken back to her. 

“Ye-yeah, I know...about you. You were-aren’t very good at hiding i-it.” Another laugh. 

“What did you say Ellia? You must not be thinking straight, what’s going on, are you safe?” Demetri had no clue what to even speak back to her. This was not a conversation he could ever have over the phone, nevertheless while one person was drunk out of their mind. 

“I-I’m fine, Demetri. Better t-than I’ve ever am-been. A-and you...heard...m-me.” Her words were getting more clustered together, more mistakes arising with every sentence. Dememtri was still unaware of how to proceed with the conversation. He had never, ever planned for Ellia to find out about him in whatever method she had. How did she even figure it all out? He had left little to no clues, most things so clearly concealed by outside factors. 

The phone clicked off, Ellia ending it abruptly without even saying goodnight, or waiting for him to say anything back. Standing in shock, something that he had never planned to do this evening, the phone still hung at his ears. Her voice, slurring from whatever she was drinking, played over and over in his head. 

_ Vampire boy. Vampire boy. Vampire boy.  _ How did she even have any idea? What did this even mean? Had he messed up? Was this going to screw up whatever he had been working on for the last few months?

Demetri had to go to Aro immediately. 

* * *

What woke me up first was the pounding of my head.  _ How long had I been sleeping for? _ My eyes opened to the surroundings around me, eyes constantly blinking, attempting to adjust to the lights that woke me up. The couch was underneath me, the ends of my legs not even laying on top of it. As I sat up, the headache that ran from ear to ear hit me in an earthquake like fashion. A soft groan emitted from my lips, and as I tugged a finger through my hair, the knots wouldn't even allow a proper brush through.  _ What even happened last night? _ Resting my hand on the back of the couch, my eyes scanned the room furiously. Having to constantly close them due to the throbbing that refused to stop from the lights on full blast above me made even just trying to look around feel impossible.

At some point they landed on the bar that was adjacent from the couch, and the bottles of wine that were open on the counter. There were three that were open, all of them partially drinken from.  _ Jesus fuck, was I alright? How much did I even end up drinking last night? Was it still night? When did I even start drinking? Why was I drinking so much? _

Beyond the mess that my mind could clearly see from my position, I noted that my body was freezing. Looking down, I had no blanket draped over my body, legs only covered in athletic shorts. The goosebumps engulfed the entirety of my legs, and I rubbed them furiously to try and warm the rest of myself up. Deciding that I should sit up and see the rest of the damage, including any wine that may have ended up on the floor, I attempted to stand.

My arms held up my body, my legs feeling like jello. Using the couch and any nearby somewhat sturdy objects I focused on taking step after step. Making my way to the bathroom, only a few feet away from where I was currently standing felt like it took years. Keeping the lights off, and the door wide open to allow the flow of the basement’s living room own lights so that I wouldn't be stumbling in the complete darkness, I sat down on the edge of the bathtub. 

Knowing what was about to greet me, I moved from the bathtub to the floor, then shifted near the toilet. Propping the top open, and almost like it was on command, I began to throw up. Over and over and over again, the pain never ceasing. 

If I had thought walking to the bathroom took years, throwing up all of the wine and whatever small amounts of food that were in my body took centuries. As soon as I felt like my stomach was empty, more and more continued to release from me. A raw burning sensation overtook my throat, and after what could have been hours or mere minutes, the urge to puke out the rest of my guts finally calmed down. The headache was still ragging on, but mentally I felt better knowing that most of the wine that I had consumed over the span of the night was out of my body. A cough tried to exit my mouth, but the puking had clearly harmed my vocal chords at least partially. I needed water, desperately. 

Flushing the toilet, I laid my body against the wall, my head falling onto the tops of my knees, attempting to do anything to cool down my body. Despite the goosebumps and lack of blanket that I had awoken to, my body was still partially fuming hot. At moments I felt as though I was living in the desert, and at others in the arctic. Currently I was in the desert stage.

As I laid there, small sighs emitting from my lips when the waves of pounding came from my headache, I tried to piece together everything that had happened last night. I remembered getting blackout drunk, or at least moments of it.  _ Oh shit, what time even was it? _

Not wanting to leave the cold bathroom tile, but knowing that I should clean up any mess before my mother would come home and find her precious basement destroyed, I willed myself to get up. Standing up was much more painful and headache inducing than just laying down, but the fear of being yelled at was much higher.

First, I made my way to the bar to get a bottle of water, taking small sips so as to not upset my stomach so quickly again. Luckily enough, I hadn't spotted any wine on the carpet of the basement, only traces on the bar countertop. Then, I made my way, step after step to the couch.

My phone was nearby the structure, face down on the floor as if it had been dropped from my hands at some point. Picking it up, I was thrilled to see no cracks or imperfections on the screen.  _ At least I hadn't completely ruined everything while getting as drunk on wine as possible.  _ However, after scrolling through all the notifications on the home screen, I knew I fucked up.

Almost as if another wave of headaches was going to come to me, things starting to piece together.

It was Christmas now, 12:04am. But Christmas Eve was my breaking point, of some kind.

I remembered my mom calling me around noon yesterday, telling me that she wasn't going to be home for at least a few more days. Since coming back home, I had seen her for a single day. The second day back, or my first full day home, she came home for a few hours before automatically turning around just to leave once more. She had claimed that business right now was too pressing, and it was just  _ too hard _ to get any more time off.  _ She ran the goddamn business, so I don't understand what was so hard about allowing yourself time off to spend with your own goddamn daughter after you havent seen her in person for several months, but God forbid I ask any questions.  _

Staying home by myself was beyond lonely. I spent most time talking to Demetri, but was terrified of burdening him with all the drama in my life. So I settled for ranting to Aurora and Eden whenever possible, and talking to Demetri nearly every night just about small details here and there, trying to learn more about him, even just as friends. I tried to become more acquainted with myself, but the amount of time with a lack of physical connection was overpowering. My mom saying she wouldn't be home for Christmas, after I had even spent time pulling our old tree out of the closet and decorating it, even shopping for a few presents for her, was too much to handle. 

So I drank wine in some kind of attempt to numb myself to everything recently surrounding home.

And a lot of it.

Like, an absolute shit ton of it.

And I guess I had made a few mistakes.

Looking at my phone, it was clear to see that Demetri was one of those. A few missed calls and text messages, along with a few just from Aurora and Eden, unrelated to anything going on.

Tapping on Demetri’s name, I scrolled through the messages he had sent me.

_ Ellia, you need to answer me. -Sent 2:43pm. _

_ Ellia, seriously, I’m worried about you. You are so clearly drunk. -Sent 3:13pm _

_ We need to talk about what you said on the phone. Immediately. -Sent 3:15pm _

_ Are you safe? Please call me as soon as you can. -Sent 5:29pm _

_ The second you read these, please respond. I am worried sick about your well-being. -Sent 8:52pm _

After the third message, I knew that there would be no way to possibly text him to apologize for anything that I had said, or even to repair the situation in any kind of regard. So I knew I should do exactly what he wanted to, even the idea of having to vocalize everything that had happened the last few weeks was full of pain, and anything that I could have said last night full of regret.  _ I swear to God, I normally was not this stupid. Drinking casually was one thing, and something that I was completely used to. But drinking wine to the point of blacking out and calling people and not even remembering a single ounce of what I uttered, that was most certainly new.  _ I needed Demetri to know that was not who I was, or who I planned to be. 

Taking a deep breath, and praying to God that by some random chance he was awake, I pressed his contact name, and clicked the call button.

I raised the phone up to my ear, shut my eyes, and took a seat on the couch, this time tugging a nearby blanket onto my legs so that I didn't freeze to death. If I had considered myself religious, I may have prayed to some higher being once or twice that I hadn't said anything on the phone that was beyond just babbling, or even that he may not answer and I would have a few more hours to piece things together before we had to converse fully about it all. My brain was still partially foggy around those details and I would have no idea on what to say if it turned out I brought up something incredibly stupid. 

Or, if I had brought up that I had learned recently. Then I was most definitely screwed, like so screwed that I would have no idea what to even say. Pretend it was some kind of joke? God, I hope I didn’t fuck up that bad. 

“Ellia?” Demetri answered after not even the phone ringing one full time.

_ Dear God, was I fucked.  _


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York. / Volterra, Italy.

General mood for this whole chapter is the song “i’ll die anyway” by girl in red. If you want to listen while you read--it’ll definitely put you in the right mindsight of this chapter. Song may be triggering for some, so listen with caution. Also, heavy swearing ahead, beware! 

_ Taking a deep breath, and praying to God that by some random chance he was awake, I pressed his contact name, and clicked the call button. _

_ I raised the phone up to my ear, shut my eyes, and took a seat on the couch, this time tugging a nearby blanket onto my legs so that I didn't freeze to death. If I had considered myself religious, I may have prayed to some higher being once or twice that I hadn't said anything on the phone that was beyond just babbling, or even that he may not answer and I would have a few more hours to piece things together before we had to converse fully about it all. My brain was still partially foggy around those details and I would have no idea on what to say if it turned out I brought up something incredibly stupid.  _

_ Or, if I had brought up that I had learned recently. Then I was most definitely screwed, like so screwed that I would have no idea what to even say. Pretend it was some kind of joke? God, I hope I didn’t fuck up that bad.  _

_ “Ellia?” Demetri answered after not even the phone ringing one full time. _

_ Dear God, was I fucked. _

* * *

“Uhm...hi, Demetri.” The words felt awkward in my own mouth, the voice not my own. Having little to no idea where to even take the conversation, I let Demetri start the exchange and figured I would just follow along with him, praying for peace amongst the two of us. My hungover brain couldn't handle any more fighting. It had already exhausted that with my mother earlier, although not even sharing any words with her besides the few over the call. 

“Ellia. Thank God you are okay.” I could almost feel his exhale from my end of the receiver, like I could sense all the anxiety that my slow breakdown last night brought him. My stupid, selfish breakdown. His tone only made me feel more guilt for my own actions.

“Yeah, I know, whatever I did last night, I’m sure it was really stupid. I’m sorry for whatever I said, I honestly can’t even remember half of it. Just deciding to call you…” The memories flooded my mind. Everything. All at once. The drunk stumbling around my basement, calling him beautiful. Sounding like a love-drunk human, begging for attention. Him telling me that I needed to stop drinking so much, me arguing right back there with him.  _ Wait.  _ Me arguing with Demetri.  _ Vampire boy. Vampire boy. Vampire boy.  _ The words rang out loud and clear in my own head.  _ I fucked up everything I possibly could last night. Fucking vampire boy.  _ The whisper tumbled out of my mouth, barely even audibly to myself. “Holy shit.”

“What, Ellia? What do you remember?” Demetri responded immediately, no time passing between the words falling out of my mouth and his reaching mine from the phone speaker.  _ How did he hear me? Was that a vampire thing too? _

“Nothing, I remember nothing. Just calling you and then blacking out on the couch downstairs.” Pretending that I didn't even remember what I said last night was the best option. Just go along like I had never called him a vampire, let him think that maybe it was just a fluke.  _ Just like you once thought his red eyes were.  _ God, I didn’t even want to think about how badly I fucked up last night, how stupid it was of me to get that drunk and then, on top of that all, call Demetri and tell him just about everything I knew. My hands found themselves on my forehead, pressing the palm against it. I gently hit myself, mentally cursing myself for being so foolish. 

“What happened last night? That wasn’t like you.” His words triggered some part of my brain. 

Maybe it was the pounding headache finally getting to me. Maybe it was the built up anger from not seeing my mother in so long, from feeling so lonely by being by myself. Maybe, deep done, it was the sadness from not seeing Demetri in what felt like ages, not being able to feel his lips against my hands in so long. Whatever it was, however, caused me to snap. “You don’t know who I am.” The partial insult felt foreign against my own tongue. 

Demetri seemed taken aback. To be fair, I felt the same way hearing the words come out from my own mouth.  _ Did I really just say that? Where did that even come from? _ “What?” He sounded confused, hurt even. But I wasn't going to back down, not yet. Now that I had started, I couldn’t stop my emotions from taking hold, ruling over the conversation. I had pent up things for weeks upon weeks, and they needed a space to explode. The plan wasn’t to have them do so here, but now that it was happening, there was no way in hell I was stopping it. 

“You heard exactly what the fuck I said. Don’t pretend you know who I am. We have only known each other for a few months, and you have not even an ounce of idea of who I am as a person. Have we ever talked about any of the shitty stuff going on at my home right now? How incredibly lonely I have felt these last few weeks since being home? All we talk about is stupid fucking mindless stuff that won’t even matter in the long run. All you know is that my god damn dad left when I was young. And let me tell you, that’s barely fucking anything. That’s nothing compared to all the other shit that you’ve never bothered to learn.” I was speaking quickly, words slurring together from run on sentence to run on sentence. 

“Ellia, please.” His pleas went unnoticed. 

“No, Demetri, I get to talk right now. The fact that you hardly even know anything about my personal life is only the start. Have you ever thought about what you tell me? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I know jack shit about you, and you act like there's no problem with that. How could we ever be friends,  _ or more than friends,  _ without you telling me the whole entire truth? All I get is mysterious responses without you ever explaining, and just leaving me completely in the dark. Or how about when we first met? And you did that for a whole ass fucking month without even a way to contact you. Just completely ditching me and pretending as though you regretted rescuing me. Did you even realize how shitty that was to do to a person whose life you just saved? Let me tell you something, Demetri, extremely fucking shitty.” My voice was hot, my tone only growing louder with each word. Not close to a yell, but much more like a mother lecturing their children, scolding them for a poor decision. 

“That’s why I called--” Once more, I refused to let him speak. Right now was my time to finally let go of everything, including the details I knew were going to fuck me over in the long run. Not even the long run, honestly. They would fuck me the second they left my lips.

“No, don't fucking start with me, _ Demetri _ .” The apprehensive tone dripped from my mouth, like venom from a snake’s bite. “Is that even your real name? How could I fucking know, considering all the shit you’ve kept from me. Is this all your way of just messing with the inside of my head? Is this all just one big game to you? Just something to pass forever with?”

“Please let me talk--” His voice was desperate, begging for even just a second of my attention. Part of my heart twinged at the notion that I could be hurting his feelings, but mine were already so damaged that I didn't stop and think for more than just a few milliseconds. 

“Shut. The. Fuck. Up.” My brain decided that now was a better time than ever to let go of the secret that I had previously let slip last night. “I know what you are, Demetri. I figured it out after that night at the lake. I spent so many hours on Google just trying to piece together the fragments of things that you gave me. The tiniest of slivers of conversation and physical attributions. What I just don't understand is why you chose me. Why me, of all people, to just fuck around with?” He interrupted me now, and I let it happen. 

“What am I then, Ellia?” His voice rang crystal clear in my ears through the phone. No panic about trying to get the next word in, no rush of anxiety. Calmness. As if he already knew what I was going to say, although he already had ideas that I had figured him out. I’m sure me calling him a vampire boy last night gave him some time to prepare for the eventual confrontation that would have to occur. “If you know what I am, then tell me.” He repeated his command, cementing it in my brain, my memory. 

So I decided to repeat his own same control over words, the same calmness as if I wasn't just an emotional wreck. “You’re a vampire, Demetri. And I don’t want a goddamn thing to do with you.” The words fell flat. No breathing on the other end, no more pleas left to hear now. 

And just like that, I hung up the phone. No goodbye, no final thoughts. Just pushed the device down from my ear and clicked the button without even thinking twice about it.  _ Well, at least I got the last word in. And sounded like a complete badass while doing it.  _

The headache was worse now, much worse. The pounding that pulsed from ear to ear now overtook my whole skull, throbbing with every motion my eyes or body made. Despite the ringing of my phone that now sat in my lap, Demetri blinking over and over on the screen again, I couldn't find myself willed to answer it. 

Gently tugging the blanket up over my body, all the way up to the edge of my nose, the tears began to roll down my face. Demetri didn't deserve the anger that I poured out to him, all the built up resentment that had piled up internally until it exploded, nails and spikes releasing out to someone who had hardly warranted them. Sniffles and quiet sobs released from my nose and mouth, as I shut my eyes, wishing the darkness would just take me over. The guilt confined my being into one position, tearing my frame right in the middle.The physical and emotional pain taking turns ruining my being, over and over again. 

But the darkness never decided to come for me. I sat there for what felt like forever, constant pain coursing through my figure without sleep coming in to heal me. I guess that had made sense, blacking out for a full night of rest, but I still hated my own body for it. I didn't want to be awake, to feel the guilt and hangover results so present.

After several calls of Demetri’s passed with no answer from me, they abruptly stopped. Even though I had not wanted to talk to him so soon, to sound so childish apologizing for all I had said, I didn't want him to stop calling me. In some off, and probably messed up way, it made me feel wanted, feel loved.  _ Yeah, that’s fucked up, Ellia.  _

After laying in the same spot, blanket pulled up practically over my face, a constant stream of tears with no sleep appearing to me, I decided the best decision would be to force myself to get up. Maybe drink some more water, clean up whatever mess I had to, then pretend as though it was a normal Christmas day. The least I could do was pretend, even though mentally I was nowhere close to the holiday spirit. 

Picking up my phone, attempting to ignore any messages from anyone, including those from friends just wishing me the best, I scrolled through Google remedies for hangovers. Considering the fact that I had made it through a whole semester of college without having to look up the same thing made me feel slightly upset. Wasn't that part of the whole college experience? 

Pushing aside the emotional rollercoaster it seemed like my brain wanted me to go through tonight, I forced myself out of the pile of blankets and tears that I had formed. Words of my mother rang through my head. Her constant advice--to simply pick yourself up when things got hard. As nice as the concept sounded, it did seem to argue against mental health breaks. Depression couldn't be cured by laughing and a smile, no matter what my mother dared to say. 

Picking myself up was harder than expected. But I did it anyways, walking towards the downstairs mini refrigerator. Classic suburban home things, I suppose. Grabbing another glass of water, considering that was the largest at home remedy, and taking large gulps seemed to at least distract my brain from the pounding migraine that took over most of my power. The downstairs lights stayed dimmed, and even that felt too bright for my sensitive eyes to handle. The articles I read also advised of trying some tea, or even attempting to eat a small meal. 

After throwing up most of the contents in my body under an hour earlier, eating anything wasn't really high on my list of favorite things to do. So I rummaged through the pantry, finally stumbling on some tea bags that probably expired two years ago.  _ I mean, what’s the harm in it anyways? I basically killed my body last night, anyways.  _ So I took the glass of water that I had half finished, poured a few ice cubes over it, and plopped the tea bag over the top, stirring with a spoon that I could only guess had also never been used along with half the things in this basement.  _ A house half full.  _

As much as hot tea may have sounded nice for my throat, I knew that in reality I would just wait for it to cool down anyways until the water was chilled, so the decision to just make cold tea from the start seemed more time efficient and less draining. 

Letting the tea bag and water sit together, I made small steps to the bar counter, focusing on the floor underneath me. There was nearly no damage to anything, and luckily no wine stains on the floor.  _ That could have really been the thing that killed me.  _ The drunk me was somehow smart enough to keep all the wine corks, so I spent the next ten minutes attempting to figure out how to recork the open bottles before finally getting them positioned in exactly the right way. I had never imagined that having to close a wine bottle would be so difficult. You think they would make it easy enough for a drunk person to do, but I guess that was their sober mess to clean up.  _ Just like it was mine.  _

By the time I had tidied up the bits and pieces of the downstairs I had messed up earlier in the night, my tea was more than ready to consume. Heading up the stairs to my bedroom, walking slowly so as to not hurt my head anymore, I made sure to stop by the kitchen to grab some ibrefrueon for the headache I knew would awaken me in the morning and accompany me all night, if I could even sleep.

Then, I sat in my bed. Finally responding to all friends but Demetri, wishing them the same ‘Merry Christmas’. Demetri would be a morning problem, something I could wait to figure out. Finishing up the last of my tea, I could almost imagine my mother’s dog coming to lay at my feet. God damn her for taking that dog everywhere, leaving me so alone.

Although it took my eyes years to close, and my brain what felt like hours to finally slumber, the sleep did come. And when it came, it poured. 

* * *

The vampire, not even properly able to convey what had just happened over the last ten minute conversation had the phone still held up to his ear, mouth slightly agape. If he had to breathe, he may have been out of breath. Keeping up with all of Ellia’s thoughts was almost as if running a marathon with no break from water, no chance to try and walk. Just running, running, running. He had no idea where most of her lecturing had come from, although she did have a point with his lack of communication. That was something that would never be an issue in the future, 

His eyes met Felix, who sat in his velvet plum colored couch, the one he thought Ellia would accompany soon. Those all felt like fantasies now, considering all the word choices she had just given him. A smile tugged at Felix’s lips. He had heard everything. Hadn’t missed a single breath, a single fragment.

“What are you going to do, brother?” Despite the smile on his lips, his tone was serious. This was no laughing matter, even though Demetri’s facial expressions warranted at least a little giggle. How surprised he was, how thrown-back, even. 

“You know what I have to do, Felix. I’ve already told you what the Masters have advised me to do with this situation.” Demetri pulled the phone away from his ear, finally, and attempted to call the human several more times over. It was like watching someone in a state of shock, unsure of how to act upon their emotions. Calling over and over again, praying for an answer, knowing that they would get no such thing. 

“I am more than aware. But it appears as though the human is becoming more bold. You may want to act quickly on their advice. Who knows what she could already be doing. You already know what would happen if she said anything else,” Felix was standing now, hovering over Demetri’s body, who himself stood by the door frame of his own bedroom. “You know that I will always side with you, brother, and support you in your endeavors, no matter how odd they may sound. I know that you love this human, but do not let that harm your vision. You are smarter than that.” He rested a hand on the smaller vampire, forcing their eyes to meet and for Demetri to put the phone down. There was no more reason to fumble with the device. They had to leave, and soon.

“Give me five minutes. I’ll meet you outside the throne room.” Those were the only words that came from his mouth, yet they spoke millions more. 

The brute did not respond, but rather found himself racing quickly back to his own corridors, changing and preparing a quick overnight bag. He hoped they did not have to stay for more than a few hours before Demetri could figure the situation out.  _ Although, a quick visit in the states did sound peaceful, a break from the job that frequency overworked him.  _

Less than five minutes later, the two men met outside where they had planned, both exchanging a small nod, their travel bags placed right on top of each other. Vampires worked even faster than normal when they had a mission to attend to.  _ If you could call needing to make sure a human neglected to spill their existence to anyone, and if they did, making sure she would have to come to Volterra instantly and become a vampire. Now, if she rejected that, or even fought the two men, they knew what they had to do. Hurt her until she couldn't fight anymore. As if she would even be able to harm them in the first place.  _ Not necessarily a thought either men wanted to dream about. 

Pushing the grand doors open, the three men that sat at their own chairs in the middle were in no shock to see them. They always knew what was happening around the castle, listening for a pin drop in the midnight silence. Even when they studied art late at night, engaged in novels and books from across the globe, they knew. 

“We are leaving now, Masters.” Felix spoke for the both of them, knowing that Demetri’s own voice may falter if he decided to do the talking. No one could look weak in front of the men that provided them their life, their job. 

“Good. As you should. I expect to see you both back as soon as possible.” Aro sat up from his gold adorned chair, rather than just choosing to cross his legs over each other. He towered over the both of them from his marble pedestal, furthering the constant reminder that they were somewhat disposable, never as important as their masters. Their creators. 

“If the human has said anything--” Caius interrupted, voice loud and stern, his threats ever present despite not even issuing them. Yelling seemed to be his constant volume, only ever quiet when with his wife, then using the gentlest of words. 

“He already knows, brother. Leave him be. I trust that he will make the correct decision if need be.” Aro hushed the blonde haired vampire with a single rise of the hand. With the same hand, he ushered Felix and Demetri out of the throne room. They scurried away quickly, knowing that every second they stayed in Volterra, moments were wasted. 

Within the hour, they were boarding one of the few planes the Voltruri had set aside for their own traveling purposes. Popular to contrary belief, not all vampires liked to walk through water to end up where they needed to be. The Guard was far too civilized for matters like those. Between the two men, very few words were spoken, appearing to be surrounded by anxiousness. 

Demetri neglected to stay still, wandering up and down the plane aisles, sitting down on the seats just before getting up moments later. He tugged around his hair again, then twiddled with the ring that was in his coat pocket. He pulled out the small box, propped open the lid, starred at the diamond, then shut it abruptly. These actions occurred over and over again before Felix decided to disrupt his obsessions. 

“Brother, relax. We will be there soon enough and then you can find her. Your anxiety induced measures are starting to rub off on me. Why are you so concerned with the human now, as you have hardly ever been. You trust her, yes?” The two made eye contact, stopping Felix right in his tracks. The tracker wasted no time before talking.

“Of course I do, it’s just--” Even though the brute had asked him a question, he did not fear cutting his own words off. He was tired of the worrying. Internally, he wanted to disguise his own. The human had started to tug on his own heart strings. Despite earlier advising the vampires to rush out of the castle as soon as possible in case the human had made any mistakes, Felix had appeared to have softened. Having seen Ellia so frequently, he knew how secretive and private she was with matters. Reflecting on this throughout the day caused him to feel more trusting of the girl, even though she had clearly made a mistake. He hoped he did not have to harm her. 

“Then you have nothing to worry about. If she’s kept your own secret from you for a period of time, there's no reason to believe she'd turn around and share it so quickly with others of her kind. Sit down and calm your mind. There is nothing you can do until we reach the airport anyways. You already know where we have to go.” Felix disregarded the idea that Demetri had been outsmarted by someone so _fragile and_ _weak as a human._ That she had slipped right under his radar and he hadn't thought twice about it. That was a conversation for another time. He expected nothing less from the human as someone who was destined to be attracted to the vampire. 

Not saying anything else, but knowing that Felix was right in all his thinking, Demetri took a seat across from the larger brute. Mentally, he was planning everything he would say to Ellia, the first words that may come out of his mouth when he arrived at her front door step. Would he say hello first? What if it was her mother? What if she didn't even answer? If she wasn't home? Too many questions that he could ponder over the next few hours, allowing him to ignore any of Felix’s advice. Advice he knew was right, but wasn’t ready to hear. 

The concept of everything that was happening right now did not feel like real life. He felt detached from it, in an odd sense of the term. But, this was the truth. This was real life. In just a few hours, he would come face to face with his la tua cantante once more, and beg for her forgiveness and secrecy, unaware of what he would do if she said no.

_ Unaware _ wasn't the perfect word for this situation. He knew what he would have to do, but he did not think in a million years he could ever harm the girl himself, or allow for another person to cause her pain. He himself would have to die before that day ever arrived. 

Nevertheless, he let the plane ride pass, knowing that each minute brought him closer to the love of his existence. 


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York.

This chapter is a long one (like double the size of norma), with lots and lots of dialogue, oop. For your reader experience--Only Love by Ben Howard, for the last small section of the chapter. :) Missed you guys. 

Waking up, the first thing I noticed was the lack of headache. Well, maybe not the lack of a headache, but the absence of one that pounded from side to side, made my legs weak and even caused the movement of my eyes to reflect back upon the rest of my body, only producing more and more pain. 

The sun was finally out now, pouring through my curtains that were unable to filter out all light.  _ Well, at least it was finally morning time.  _ Desiring to lay in bed for just a few more minutes, I tugged the covers that were nearly falling off the bed back up to my chin, whilst a yawn escaped my mouth. My eyes scanned the room, analyzing all the small details. Looking at each map, tracing the lines in my own head. Watching the way my dreamcatcher swayed from the heat coming through the air vent right above it. It was a silly attempt at stopping the anxiety that was arising in the pits of my stomach. Ever since coming back, the normal days of sitting in a ball, wiping tears away, had come back, as easily as they had left. I’m not sure if it was true, but it felt even worse than when they had happened the first time. Most of the time, even when I attempted to curb the anxiety from the moment I woke up, it was impossible to stop. I just had to sit there, praying for a lack of pain. Begging to whatever higher force there may have been, for just a normal awakening. 

Today, however, the pit calmed within minutes. Minutes. I hadn't felt that kind of relief since being in Italy, being on campus in my own dorm room. Only there was the anxiousness gone, no trace of it even left behind.

I could only be left to wonder why it had disappeared, but it was better to take advantage of the situation anyways. Today was Christmas after all, and I had to at least try to have a normal, cheery day trying to fill the void that threatened to swallow me whole. 

So after sitting for only a brief amount of time, I swung my feet over the edge of my bed, which landed on the slightly chilled hardwood floor. Grabbing my phone off of my bed, I quickly tapped the screen to learn that it was six in the morning.  _ I guess all the hours I got last night helped somewhat.  _ Deciding to peak a quick glance outside, I pushed the edge of my curtain off to the side, placing one half of it in the holdback that was nailed into the wall. 

White. All white. Snow layered on the ground, and from my room, I could almost see the stream, frozen in all it’s beauty. Considering how the snow was still falling around us, I could only assume that the stream would be covered in whiteness, concealing it’s danger. Light and fluffy, almost as if it was a blanket.  _ I suppose that would be a way to start off my Christmas morning. Soaking in the peace that the water would always grant me. _

Looking down at my clothes, I felt disgusted. Drool and vomit weren't the only substance on my shirt, wine and other various liquids also covering them in tiny bits here and there. Showering and changing then would be my first priority. Trudging my way to the bathroom, I grabbed my bathrobe on the way out of my room, knowing it would provide me with comfort the second I left the extreme warmth and steam. Tugging off the tarnished clothes I was wearing, I made the mental note to try and do some laundry today, try to keep my mind off the fact that on what was supposed to be one of the happiest days of the year, I was completely and utterly alone. No family to celebrate with, no gifts to open.

After turning on the knob of the shower, I walked towards the cabinet underneath the sink, reaching for my favorite facemask. Hopefully it would exfoliate my skin, and get rid of any of the residue that was leftover from oils and wine. Refresh me for the rest of the coming day.

By the time I had spread the mask over my forehead and nose, and any other remaining sections of my face, the water was warm enough to step into. Taking the next half an hour, I rinsed and cleaned every square inch of my body, furiously rubbing shampoo and conditioner into my hair, pleading with the gods that it would finally be clean and not have any remnants of wine smell--or even the slightly sticky bits--left clinging to me. Shaving my legs felt like the final cleansing, riding all of the previous nights actions away from me.  _ Except maybe the regret of yelling at Demetri, even calling him that late at night. How foolish it was of me to act on such a whim, to take out all the anger I had on myself onto another.  _

Sighing, I forced myself out of the warmth of the shower, wrapping the midnight blue coloured robe around my body, and shuffled my way to my own bedroom to find more comfortable clothes. Clothes that would keep me warm as I sat by the frozen water, attempting to numb some of my emotions out. Feel the happier ones, neglect to notice the loneliness or emptiness. So I tugged on a sweater and some leggings after my undergarments, not paying much attention to if they matched or looked good together. I didn't plan on seeing anyone I knew, just taking a quick walk and escaping my thoughts, or maybe even start to come to terms with some of them. Then came the boots and knitted socks, falling just under the knee in their light brown, velvet-like fashion. With my final touches, I pulled the hat that Eden hat gifted me over my head, hoping that my slightly drenched locks wouldn't become frozen in the weather outside, and grabbed my winter coat on the way out the door, hoping that the keys were already in the pocket.

On my way down the hill that would lead me to my destination, patting my pocket gave me the answer I needed. Yes, I had my keys, alongside a large lump that I knew was my gloves. I fished them out of my pocket, and snuggly yanked them over my fingers, instantly feeling the relief from the bitter cold. 

Trudging through the snow, which was already a few inches deep, my brain wandered to all the other times I had stepped down this very path, passed these very same trees, looked upon the same stream. The water always comforted me, kept all of my emotions grounded. In all the other times I had come here, although my feelings were at their highest peak, threatening to swallow me whole, I felt alleviated of all the suffering. My mind brought to me my lake at school, and the first time I had visited it with Eden. How easy life had appeared then, before I managed to get tangled in this vampire nonsense that I couldn't have even fathomed in my own head. 

The stream was in front of me now, frozen in all of its beauty. I was right. The snow covered the top of the surface, hiding it’s icy water that I knew was underneath, that could make you sick if you dared to stay in for too long. Sickness that could eventually lead to death, if it desired to take you hold.

Death.

What was it like to escape death, be a vampire? To live forever with no concerns? No worries about whether the next day would be your last? Did they ever have that distress, was there a way to die if they decided that everlasting life was not for them? So many questions that maybe one day I would ask Demetri.  _ If he could forgive you for last night, for freaking out on him for no reason at all.  _

I suppose being able to master countless abilities, never stop learning, that didn't seem too bad. All the languages one could teach yourself, all the online classes you could take through colleges, enriching your everyday knowledge, on top of seeing more and more evolving sides to every argument. 

But, to defy life in such a way? I had never considered myself super religious in most ways; I had visited various churches with friends a few times here and there around Christmas when I was younger, but I couldn't even remember the last time I had stepped into a religious building. Even personally, any kind of spiritual ties I had were lacking. There were too many theories, too many different things I could possibly believe in. So rather, I just tried to live by my morals. Even with a lacking religious figure in my life, living forever seemed to be breaking some kind of “higher up’s” rules. Shaking that feeling of wrongness felt impossible to me. 

Now I found myself sitting on the large rock that I had frequently sat down upon when taking off my shoes. In the warmth of the summer, feeling the running water beneath my toes. There was no possibility of that happening anytime soon. It was peaceful, to think back on such simpler times. When there was no schoolwork, no vampire love interests.

Was he a  _ “love interest”? In the story that was my whole life, I guess. Considering that I was now involved with vampires, this portion of my life at least had to be a novel. _ But, back to this possible love interest. There was no way to deny the way that he made my heart feel. The way that it would beat faster just by seeing him, the fact that blush overtook my face anytime he spoke my name or called me endearing terms. He was beautiful, but I don't think any human could disagree on that. Even Felix, who looked completely different and unique from Demetri, was stunning. Another vampire thing, I could only imagine. 

Over the last few weeks, we had both grown considerably closer to each other. We talked nearly everyday for extended periods of time, frequently just small chit chat about our days or little passions, but things that interested me nevertheless. He loved reading, and gave me a plethora of novels to read, ranging from extremely old to modern texts. He loved traveling, and told me about all the sights he has seen due to his “job”. Despite talking so much, and thinking that we had started to really get to know each other, his days were vague, and frequently he confused himself with the small white lies he would tell. So I spoke, and spoke, and spoke. Mainly artificial, ignoring all the hurt that was rummaging through my body from my own mother, but I was terrified of scaring him away. Terrified. 

I guess worrying so much about what he thought of me gave it all away. A portion of my being, no matter how small or how deeply I wanted to ignore it, was infatuated with the idea of being with Demetri. Of falling in love, and spending together forever. 

Shaking myself out of my own thoughts was a slight shiver that overtook my whole body. It brought me back to reality, just how long I had just been sitting out here in the cold. In the peace of the early morning, there were no concerns. It was eye opening and calming, to imagine all that was going on around me, yet how isolated I was in my own position. How busy households with young children would be today, in a hurry to open gifts. And then there was me. Sitting at a stream, thinking my life away. As sad as the situation seemed, I couldn't bear to be fully lonely. Part of me felt numb. I had overthinked everything that had come out of my mouth the last twenty four hours, that I couldn’t think anymore. An empty slate came across my brain, if you will. But the coldness that my physical being was concerned with, that didn't leave me. So to home it was time to return. 

On the way up the hill back towards the warmth of the heating system my house would have to offer me, the phone in my pocket rang. Fishing it out, I saw Eden’s name light up the screen. A smile came across my own face as I pressed answer, my gloved hands still slightly shaking from the cold as I raised it to my ear. Eden’s voice, loving and summery in all of its nature.

“Ellia! How are you, my friend on this beautiful day? Buon Natale! Here, we await Babbo Natale, but mainly, we are awaiting Epiphany, or the Feast of The Three Kings. I’m not sure we’ve ever talked about that, have we?” Within the first thirty seconds of having her on the phone, she was automatically trying to engage me in everything. Fascinate me, pull me out of my emotions that she knew dragged me about on my worst days. Pushed me through all my limits, multiple times a day. But here she was, to try and help distract me, even if for the smallest period of time. I was eternally grateful. 

“You’ve never told me of such things! Please, I’d love to hear more.” I laughed and fake gasped in some hurt fashion. At this point, I had already reached my garage, slipping off a glove so I could enter the garage code, making sure to watch the door shut all the way before entering the house. I decided to leave my shoes outside of the door for now, not wanting to ruin any parts of my mother’s “perfect” home. 

“Well, since you have never heard of it, let me educate you! Twelve days after Christmas, we celebrate the day in which the three wise men were rumored to visit baby Jesus. So, on the night of the 5th, all the little children await La Befana. She’s like our version of Santa Claus, except she travels by a broomstick. Quite a bit like a witch, I know.” I laughed once more, trying to make myself feel the happiness. It became easier and easier, the more my body warmed up to the heater. Although being outside wasn't terribly lonely, rather peaceful, infact, the longing sadness seemed to never leave since not being in Italy. 

Listening intently, I made my way up to my room to change into more loungewear, consisting of a sweatshirt and sweatpants while I put Aurora on speaker, resting the phone on top of my vanity so I could move freely. There was no reason to dress up for today, no other family to visit besides my mom.  _ Who couldn't even make it home for one of the biggest days of the god damn year.  _ A soft sigh escaped past my lips. Anger, pain, frustration. All relating right back to my mother. Maybe more so rooted in the core of lacking a father figure.  _ God dammit, I hated my own stupid fucking brain.  _

“Of course, there’s always plenty of food and family, feasts and parades. The Vatican has the largest parade, oh my God, it’s massive. Watching it on television isn't the same as seeing it in person, but they do such a beautiful job. Actors and horses, and tons and tons of music. One of these days, I’ll bring you to see it. The aura of our country is most visible then, you’ll fit right in.” Italy. Soon enough I would be back in it’s aura, back in my real home. Maybe in a past life, that was where my hometown was. Believing such a thing calmed myself, refrained me from believing that I was existing in the wrong place for the last eighteen years. Rather that I was just working on finding my way back home. And now, I had found that. 

“I appreciate you saying that, really. Ever since being home I feel like my ‘aura’ has been a little off.” Now that I was in more comfortable clothes, I followed my feet back down the stairs, resting on the couch in the living room, just starting to turn on the TV.  _ It may be nice to catch up on some mindless TV while I wrap up cleaning and try to feel normal today, at least. Maybe do some online shopping, buy my own gifts for myself.  _

“Oh, my  _ amica.  _ What’s been troubling you?” Her words were sincere, genuine. From the bottom of her heart thousands of miles away, she wanted to know how I was feeling, even though she had inclinations. Despite the amount of times I had called or texted to complain, she never hesitated to listen. Every single time, as if she had never heard it before. Sometimes she gave advice, sometimes all she had to do was allow me an ear. 

“Just everything going on with my mom.” There was a long sigh in between sentences, my mouth trying to come up with the words that only my brain had formulated by myself in my room far too late at night, stuck with myself and only myself. “Being home with no one just feels so wrong. The house is already too large for just the two of us, being here all alone makes it feel even more lonely. And on a day as important and special as today...just not right. The inside of the house is all Christmas-like, all decorated and sparkling, but there isn't even an ounce of any kind of cheer. Just the leftover scent of wine and rejection.” We had already talked about last night, although briefly, minus the parts about calling and yelling at Demetri over nothing. She knew about the drinking, but nothing about the vampire bits. No one knew about that. Telling anyone that felt incredibly wrong, and dangerous. 

“I can't even imagine the pain that your heart must be going through right now. Please know that from here I am wishing you the best of days, okay? Soon enough you’ll be back here, and we can celebrate once more all together! Back on the side of the water for pizza and pasta, and plenty of jokes. We’ll be your stand in family for now.” The thought of sitting on the pier with my best friends, laughing with and at each other, reminded me of why I was undergoing all this pain. So I could return to Italy, stronger and even more independent than I was the first time. 

“Thank you, Aurora. From the bottom of my heart here in New York--” The doorbell interrupted our conversation.  _ Who would be here on a Christmas day? That was odd. Maybe it was a package from my mom? Her way of saying ‘I’m sorry I fucked up and haven't been there the whole entire time you’re home from halfway across the globe?  _ A soft chuckle came out from my lips.  _ Yeah, probably not.  _

“Hey, I’ll call you back okay? Someone’s at the door and I have to finish the dishes anyways. At least try to feel normal on this odd day.” Getting up from the couch, I looked down at the screen at the flashing Aurora name once more.  _ Aurora with the perfect aura.  _

“Okay! Text me whenever you’re free again! And once more,  _ buon Natale!  _ Love you always.” I could hear her smile through the phone, the happiness she had for this day that partially had rubbed right off on me. 

“I love you too.” I spoke, a smile on my face as I walked towards the door. Slipping the phone into my pocket, I peeked through the glass panel on the right side of the door, trying to see who was awaiting my arrival. A deep gray cloak was all I needed to see in order to open the door, a state of shock coming over me.

“Demetri? What in the--” My eyes were wide, surveying his whole body in front of my own. Towering, terrifying. Any insults I had uttered in the previous days fell flat now in person. His cloak reached up over his head, disguising the sides of his face and the spikey deep brown hair hair I knew was underneath. 

“We need to talk. Now.” He interrupted me without thinking twice, without listening to any of my startled comments. 

“What the fuck?” Words escaped me. 

“Ellia, please, let me in. We need to talk.” They didn't appear to escape the vampire, however. He knew everything he was saying, and spoke it with a purpose. 

“Holy fucking shit. What the fuck? Am I fucking dreaming right now?” Was he really standing right in front of me? A whole half day plane ride away from me, and yet here he was, in the flesh. His perfect complexion, lips slightly parted in their rosy red color. Although logic made no sense in this kind of scenario, I think Demetri defied any kind of reason that life offered. My mind wasn't on logic however, it was on the perfect curve of his lips, imaging the way that they would--

“Ellia, please,” His voice was pleading, begging me to let him inside my house. His words themself pushed me out of my daydreams.  _ Where in the fuck did those even come from in the first place?  _ “We can't waste any time with this.” 

Without thinking, I took a step back, mainly in shock. How in the fuck was Demetri standing directly in front of me? Had he really come all this way just to see me? Was I going to be killed? Was he here to confess that he secretly had loved me this entire time and wanted me to run away with him? Would I say yes if he did?  _ Oh my God, shut the fuck up. Use your mouth to talk. Formulate words. Finally ask all the questions you’ve been begging to for so long.  _

With this second of opportunity, Demetri takes a step towards me, successfully lodging his body between the door and it's own frame. No way he wasn't going to be able to come inside now. “Ellia.”

“Demetri,” My brain, and logic finally decided to take hold. No more thinking of how badly I wanted to kiss him, to feel his body against mine.  _ Why was I even thinking like that? I had never imagined him in such a romantic sense before. But, now, I couldn't fight it off.  _ “I...uh…What are you doing here?” _ Talk, Ellia, talk.  _

“I think you already know that much. May we please talk?” The pleading nature was gone, for the most part. Now, he was looking around my house, and even observing my own figure. Suddenly, I felt insecure in my own home, my own skin.

“Do I have that much of a choice anyways?” Finally, my own voice returned. 

His laugh was angelic. It felt relieving to hear after not hearing it the last several days.  _ Was he still angry at me for freaking out at him the other day?  _ “No, I suppose you don't. Where is the best place to sit?” I nodded, as if agreeing to some kind of demand. 

“We can sit just where I was going to before you arrived.” He shut the door behind him, and the click of it sliding back into place reminded me that this was real life. That Demetri was really standing nothing shy of six feet in front of me. His dark cloak skimmed the hardwood floors, the very ends of his shoes barely peeking through. Finally, now that he was inside, he pushed the hood down from his head, uncovering his whole face and hair.  _ At least he was dressed for the weather.  _

“I am not going to hurt you.” He seemed to know my own internal monologue. The frustration and confusion I felt for my own emotions. How they were holding me hostage. 

“How can I be so sure of that? You traveled across the globe to find me, which God knows how the fuck you managed that, you know, consdiering I never even told you where I lived, only the God damn city. That's nothing shy of stalker and murderer behavior--” More of my feelings flooded outwardly. Wandering amongst themselves, building on top of each other with every word, every sentence, every thought. 

“Hurting you would kill myself.” Interrupting my ramblings, he appeared so stern, so fierce in his words. I had no choice but to believe every sentence that would come out of his lips, no matter how wild I knew they were going to sound very quickly. Something about the way he spoke, the words he chose to utter, they were honest. My heart, and furthermore my emotions, trusted them. And if my heart could do that much, my brain would have to follow. So follow I did. 

I led him to the same spot I just was, speaking so closely with Aurora.  _ She would find this story amusing, if I could ever tell her that much. _ Turning off the TV, which I had just wanted to watch something mindless on and disappear into earlier.  _ That wasn't going to be on my to-do list for at least several hours, possibly the rest of the day.  _ Demetri neglected to sit with me, rather he still stood in front, looking around at his surroundings. Analyzing it all. 

“You aren't going to sit with me?” My eyebrow rose, watching his every movement. He had slipped the cloak off, setting it over a chair that matched the same, boring beige tone of the very couch I sat upon. He had a button up on, although the pattern that adjourned it was gold and intricate. I could trace the loans over and over again, leading all the way up to his neck. There laid a necklace, V shaped in formation. I could see the small ruby gems that sat on the very top and bottom of it, and I could tell there was even more engraved into its surface.  _ I wonder what its meaning is? No one would wear a necklace so large, so complex for absolutely no purpose. Although, I mean, it did look fairly cool, at the very least: bold.  _

“Not yet.” His eyes flew to mine, and I finally saw the red. The bright, bright red of his own eyes. Much brighter than I had imagined them in the alleyway. They surprised me, and I could even feel my own heart race pick up slightly. Demetri had to feel the fear radiating off of me.  _ Was that fear though? Or something deeper, something more like... _

I stopped myself, not allowing the ideas to flood my brain. Focus. I needed to focus. “Can you at least make yourself seem more approachable and less murder like? At least for my own sanity?” 

He huffed, finally sitting on the opposite end of the couch, his body tilted towards mine. “Fine.”

“Thank you.” Staring him in his eyes, the blazing orbs looking back into mine.  _ How had I not noticed them earlier? I mean, I knew my brain was preoccupied with his lips, but Goddamn, those eyes were glittering. Like blood. So I was right, I wasn't just seeing things both of those two nights.  _ “Uh, where do we need to begin?” Although I didn't mind staring at his face, memorized with its features, I knew that our conversation was more important than longing for his beauty. 

“When did you figure out I was a vampire? How long have you known and hid it from me? Have you told anyone? What have you spilled of our situation to any of your friends? Eden, Aurora, any of the other three back in Italy?” He spoke insanely fast, and I tried desperately to keep up with him. He was anxious, I could sense that much. He needed answers as quickly as possible. 

“Woah, woah, woah.” I attempted to sidetrack him before he asked a million questions in thirty seconds. “If you want to hear some answers, you’ll have to let me speak.” Demetri shut his mouth now, and ushered me on with his hand, finally allowing me to speak. “I was suspicious after the night in the alley. Your skin, it’s free of any blemishs. Your skin was freezing, way behind just forgetting gloves. And then it was the eyes. The way you reacted around blood. But it wasn't until the second time I saw you, when we spent the night at the lake. After I went back to my dorm, I did as much research as possible. I didn't plan on letting it slip so soon, I wanted to think about it for a while. But, obviously, that didn't happen.” I got lost in my memories from that night. How late I had stayed up, searching for answers, for anything. 

“And have you told anyone?” He spoke quickly still, urging more and more out of me. 

“My friends are aware of you, yes.” Demetri stopped moving in this instant, almost paralyzed like. “But they know nothing besides the fact that you're a man. That's all. No one has any inclination that you are a vampire, or anything other than normal. Old fashioned, maybe, but nothing else.” He resumed his normal posture, much less stiff.

“So no one knows anything about vampires except for you?” He questioned hesitantly. 

“Correct.” I answered back sternly. 

“Good girl.”  _ What the fuck? _

“Excuse me?”  _ What in the actual fuck? _

“How would I believe you, though? What if you're just lying to my face to escape a certain death?” He appeared to disregard my shock at his comment, changing the subject around. 

“I don't think I could lie to you. Although it seemed very easy for you to continue to lie to me for an extended period of time.” I had to add a slight dig in there somewhere, to convey the fact that I was annoyed with his actions. Maybe still annoyed with myself and my mother. Being home and not in Italy for myself, not being home for my mother. 

“You have to understand why I wasn't able to tell you, right?” He cocked his head at me. 

“Of course I understand. Doesn’t make it any easier to swallow, however.”

“Well based on your phone call from yesterday, it doesn't appear as though you’ve told me the full truth either.”  _ There it was. Finally bringing up what I wanted to forget. All the guilt I had tried to hide with sarcasm was now brought to the forefront. _

_ “ _ I’m sorry.” The mumble came out lowly from my lips, and now my eyes cast downwards. There was no more staring at the blood red eyes, rather I traced the pattern on his shirt mentally, over and over again, trying to distract myself. He made me feel like a child being scolded with a few meer seconds. 

“Don't be sorry. I understand your frustration and we can talk more on it later. Does that sound okay?” I could see his hand move from his chest to the back of the couch, extended in some way out towards my own body. Almost coaxing me into its grip. 

“Yeah,” My eyes shot back up to his with a small nod. “Yeah, we can do that. What else do you need to talk about?”

“In all your research, did you ever find anything out about interactions between humans and vampires?” More questions. 

“I mean, nothing besides vampires having to kill humans for food. Vampire hunts much earlier in the history of the world. Nothing else really beyond that. Why do you ask?”

“Considering this, Ellia, why do you think we are sitting here right now then? A vampire and a human, born into nature meant to be natural enemies. How are you still alive right now? Why have I not sucked you dry?” Another question. Would he ever grow tired of them? 

“I think you're supposed to answer that kind of question, Demetri.” My tone was slightly sarcastic, begging a response. 

“Did you read anything about a bloodsinger? Anything at all? The bond between certain vampires and humans?” He ignored the small amount of sass I gave him, rather opting for another question.  _ Jesus fuck, I was gettign exhausted of all these questions.  _

“Bloodsinger? What in the fuck even is that? Is this your vampire way of trying to trick me into the afterlife?”  _ What was this new term he was trying to introduce into my life?  _

“Are you saying you wouldn't want the afterlife?” I guess I wasn't going to find out what a bloodsinger was quite yet. He would leave me waiting, just like usual. 

“It’s not exactly on my top ten list of things to accomplish in this mortal life of mine.” A snide laugh released from my mouth. Was he joking? Did people really seek out being a vampire? I guess there were some people that got so obsessed with the supernatural, they would do anything to become a part of it. Thank God I wasn't one of those people. 

“A human who doesn't desire to live forever, how intriguing. Why is that, Ellia? Why would you not want to live forever? Imagine all the possibilities, the strength that it would grant you. All the things you could accomplish without ever having to worry of perishing.” He seemed curious about my thoughts, about why I wouldn't be jumping at the concept of living forever. 

“I just dont think it’s that easy, Demetri. Being able to learn forever, sure, that would be kinda cool. But after a while, wouldn't things just get boring? What's the purpose of living if you don't have a timeline? There's nothing preventing me from living for a thousand years without doing anything, spending every day in bed saying that tomorrow I will learn, tomorrow I shall speak. Without the fear of dying, life has nothing. It would be empty, purposeless.” His interest was justifiable. Being a vampire, and one that seemed content with his immortal life, it would be puzzling to not see others wanting the same.

“That’s an interesting way of thinking of things.” His eyebrow was raised, his arm resting over the side of the couch, reaching towards me still. We still remained far away from each other, but I could smell the deep woodsy scent of his cologne from where I sat. 

“What? Not quite your own opinion?” I already knew it wasn't. 

“No, not at all. But I didn't have the choice when it came to this life, in fact, I don't remember that much of my own mortal life. Working where I do, I have never lacked a purpose. There's always something to do, something to learn.” He seemed methodical about his answers, never questioning the way in which he had learned things. Another vampire thing? Feeling so content and never desiring more? 

“Are you saying I have a choice in this matter? Is there really any kind of choice now that you’ve told me everything?” Crossing my arms over my chest, I leaned back, my body resting against the arm of the couch. The distance between the two of us was at its greatest now. 

“Ellia, why do you concern yourself with this matter so quickly?” He was ignoring the single question I gave him, after me answering so many of his own.

“Well, it’s my life you’re talking about. I think I would like to know what to expect.” I thought that my uneasiness was normal, but maybe Demetri didn't think so. 

“In that case: I am not sure. In the long run, no. One day you will join me in the afterlife. There is no way for humans and vampires to coexist, with the mortal knowing of the immortal. And with the bond we have, it would be impossible to separate from each other. Losing that bond to death would kill the other one.”

_ The bond we have? Is that the bloodsinger thing he was talking about?  _ “But, in the short run?”

“I don't know yet. I know you wish to finish your studies, and I know how important they are to you. But Aro, my Master. He is the leader of the Volturi, the organization that I work for.” This brought up the memory I had of Demrtri talking about the night at the lake. Never a better time to make sure all my questions got answered. 

”Is that the job you were talking about that night at the pond? The one with your family?” He nodded in response. 

“My family in a very loose sense, yes. None of them are related to me by blood. But in the vampire world, there was to be rules. Laws, to follow. The Volturi, my family, we enforce those rules. And Aro, alongside his two brothers, also not related by blood, are my leaders. But Aro, he is my master. The leader of us all. In the end of everything, he makes the final decisions.” Trying to keep up, I knew I would have to learn all of the names at some point. How many were there? Were there vampires right underneath my nose that I never even knew about? Was there only a very small group of them? 

“So even the vampire world has their own laws, that's pretty interesting. But what about him? Why is he of interest to me?” I understood that Aro looked over Demetri, but why would Aro even care about me? 

“He wants you to come back with me--” Well, that took me by surprise.

“Wait, like now? Like today?”

“Not right now, no. But soon, yes. He gave me a year, when I first met you, to bring you home. I'm not sure how much of an extension I will be able to gather on that. Possibly longer, if you were to meet him in person, speak with him yourself.” Demetri appeared to stop and think for a moment. “In fact, he would probably thoroughly enjoy such a meeting.”

“A meeting? How official is this guy?” I leaned closer to the vampire, resting my arms in front of my body, pushing down on the couch cushion. My head cocked to the side, eyes squinting. 

“Ellia, he’s the vampire in charge of all other vampires. He knows everyone's passions and wants, their past and present. In terms of the vampire world, everyone knows of him. Everyone with a brain, at the very least. Only the most special, or the most damned, get to meet him in person. In your case, a meeting would have to be arranged. It would be in your best interest.” His explanation made sense. 

“Okay.” I nodded in agreement. 

“Really?” He seemed shocked, those bright reds looking right into my own. Instead of staring back at them, I looked around at his face trying to ignore his questioning eyes. 

Shrugging my shoulders, I gave my best excuse of an answer. “If it makes any of this easier for me, then yes. I don't really have an inclination to die at the current moment. And becoming a vampire won't be on my todo list until I am at least able to finish my studies. So, if a meeting with him delays this, then I'll do whatever it takes.”

“How much longer is that?” Changing the subject once more, he jumped from topic to topic. I couldn't tell if he was trying to distract me or was trying to learn about everything that I had to offer. 

“Finishing my studies?” He nodded. “Three years in total. Maybe two and a half if I can push more classes together.” My hands reached to take each other hold, cracking my knuckles. I was taken aback by how cold they were, and decided to rub them back and forth to try and warm them up. 

“Will you stay on campus forever?” Demetri took notice of my hands, and was up in an instant from the comfort of the couch. He crossed the room, and sat back down next to me with the cloak he had removed earlier iin moments.  _ Holy shit. That was fast.  _ He placed the garment over my hands, and I fumbled to untangle it out from its folded position. 

“Next year I think my friends and I will rent an apartment, or something along those sorts. Being on campus is lovely, but staying with my friends sounds even more nice.” The cloak now laid across my legs, my hand sunderath. I tried to give some to Demetri, but he neglected to take a corner.  _ All for myself then, I guess. The woodsy scent of his cologne was even stronger now.  _

“Even considering the fact that they're both in relationships and you are lacking one?”  _ Well, damn, that was a little bit of a dig.  _

“I mean, I’m not sure--wait. How do you know that? Have you been stalking me?”  _ What the fuck? _

“I had no choice.”  _ What the fuck? What in the actual fuck?  _

“What the fuck, Demetri? What does that even mean?” I shifted back as far as I could, my voice raising. Just when I thought we were getting somewhere, he pulls out that he just casually knows much more about my life than I had initially thought? 

“The night that I saved you from that man.” Even just a mention of the night sent a ripple of anxiety through my body, causing goosebumps to rise onto my exposed arms. Tugging my sleeves down to my wrists, I tried to focus on what else Demetri had to say. “That was not the first night I met you. Earlier in the year, in fact, the first night you came to Milan, that's when I saw you. The night at the lake. My friends and I, you will meet them later, were on a mission. And when we were traveling back, I had stumbled upon you. Your blood, it sang to me. Like I stated earlier. A bloodsinger. The way that your blood smells, it’s intoxicating. When it came upon my nose, I could not resist meeting you.” _ Why did the concept of someone wanting me so badly make me so content inside? A feeling of belonging. That's what it gave me. A home. A home found in the happiness of a person.  _

“Blood has that much of a smell?” Well, that was an interesting concept. Blood only reminded me of metal and a bitter taste, like when you accidentally bite the inside of your mouth and have to deal with the pain for a few minutes. But it being that powerful? I could never imagine such a thing. 

“Most of the time, no. Always in some way, but after living as a vampire for this long, you get used to most of it. Some of it is bitter, some sweet, some revolting. But the blood that runs in _ your _ body, it is impossible to resist. Even just the scent of you, it’s enough to get drunk upon, if I were able.” _ God. I mean, I knew I thought I had feelings for Demetri, but this was much stronger than anything else I had imagined. A blood driven passion? Jesus Christ. What did I get myself into?  _

“How do you control yourself around me then? How am I not dead? Is that why your eyes were red the first time I met you? Why are they still red now?” Even more questions. Would I ever be confident in everything that Demetri told me? 

“Ah, so you remember the eyes. I wasn't quite sure if you would have remembered that or not. I figured seeing them today would at least jog your memory.” A smile played at his lips. Those rosy red lips, flushed and every so slightly plump.  _ God, I wouldn't mind leaning over at this exact moment and just-- _

“I remember nearly everything about that night. It took me forever to try and forget it. Some parts of it I don't think will ever leave me. I know it’s all a part of dealing with life, dealing with pain. But I had never had something so startling occur to me. Still, there are some days where it consumes my mind fully, distracts me from studying or class, causes me to not live fully.” Thinking about it hurt me. The wine smell that I knew would linger in the basement was similar enough to the scent from that night that it had brought me back, just enough. Enough to cause me pain. 

“I know, love, I know. That man was vile, and disgusting. He didn't deserve to live any longer, not for trying to hurt someone as gentle as you.” He was shaking his head, becoming frustrated. His voice was getting huskier, deeper. I could see the anger starting to pool just below the surface. 

“I'm not so sure that gentle is the best word to choose.” I giggled, trying to lighten the mood, trying to get Demetri out of whatever place he was slipping into. I didn't want to think of that night, or even the drinking that I had done myself earlier. 

He laughed. Angelic and pure. “I suppose not. But nevertheless, he hurt you. No one who puts their hands on you in such a way should live.”  _ God, that was intense. Seriously, what the fuck did I get myself into?  _

“That’s bold.” Smiling at Demetri, trying to crack some kind of joke. Keep the mood light. I much preferred to see him smiling than angry, wanting to burst.

“Are you saying you don't feel the same draw? The same kind of tugging emotions towards me. The fear, the rush of exhilaration? The passion nagging just right below the surface? The lost feeling when we're apart? How lonely it feels, how the pain grows worse and worse with every passing week? How easily irritable you are without having me near?” He was serious once more, and I couldn't help but stare into his eyes. The danger that they gave, yet the security, the hope, that they provided me as well. 

Those feelings had tugged at me, over and over again. Then it clicked. The anxiety. How it had disappeared in Italy, then returned once I came back home. Was that linked to all of this? Was that why Italy felt like home? Because Demetri was there? That was definitely a can of worms I had no desire to open up about yet, at least not in front of Demetri yet, not until I had thought about it. “I don't think I feel comfortable talking about that yet.”

“That’s okay, we can discuss it later.” His voice gave off the impression that he wasn't going to let me let go of my own emotions. The emotions that loved to drown me.

The air sat stale between us, the slight sense of tension still resting. He decided to break it for the both of us, saving me from any kind of embarrassment.

“Is there anything else you want to know now? You have my full attention, love.”  _ Love. God, he just loved to tease me every so slightly with those feelings of affection.  _ A blush rose to my cheeks with the word that small. 

“I want to know about you, Demetri. Tell me your real story. When you were born, how you became what you are, how you started working where you do. I want to know it all. I don't want any more lies, any more hidden truths. I promise you I’ll spill everything you want to know if you give the same to you.” I wanted honesty, I wanted him. 

“Yes. No more lies. The full truth.” I nodded, and a smile pulled at my lips. He seemed more at peace now than when he first walked into my house. Peaceful, almost. And then he started talking. “Well, I was born in Greece. Around 1000AD by a man called Amun.”  _ Jesus fuck, he was that old? I didn't know I was  _ that _ into older men.  _ “He was always very kind to me, but my  _ abilities _ , they were too powerful for just Amun to hold onto me. That's when Aro found me. He took me in, honed my power. And I’ve stayed there ever since. Like I said, I don't remember much of my mortal life, just vague memories of a mother. A father too, maybe. But after all these years, after staying with the Volturi for so long, it all just seems like a far away land by now.” That sounded so lonely, not remembering your parents. I mean, I guess I could relate on the dad side of things. 

“Powers? Abilities? What do you mean?”

“Well, all vampires are gifted. Superhuman strength, incredible hearing and vision. Beauty beyond compare. Those are all the usuals. But, some have extra gifts. Felix, he is much stronger than most vampires. Aro, he can see your past and present through a touch. Some see the future, some read minds.”  _ Holy shit, that was kinda cool.  _

“And you?” How rare was it to have a gift? He spoke of many of them, it seemed. 

“I am able to track. Track humans, vampires, whatever I please.”  _ Track? Was that just another word for stalking? Was this his way of making sense of his fucked up way of finding me?  _

“What do you mean by track?” It felt like even with all the explaining Demetri was doing for me, there were still far too many questions. Too many things that he needed to expand upon. 

“It's how I was able to find you so easily today. Vampires and humans, there's a certain tenor in the way that your brain, your emotions, your whole being gives off. I can track that. And without fail, it will lead me to whoever I need without even thinking twice. At this point, it's simply nature. After so many years of training, it takes no energy, it's just another part of me.”

“That's actually...pretty cool.” I heard myself speak. 

“Really?” Considering he had heard my opinion on vampires earlier, even hearing myself say that I found something about his life fascinating was odd. 

“I mean, yeah, I guess. Having a power in general makes being a vampire a little more interesting, I guess.” I shrugged my shoulders. “But, tell me more, tell me another story. What about a story about the kind of work you do?” I moved ever so slightly towards the vampire, resting my head against his arm that was still laying across the top of the couch. He was freezing, but now I knew that I would have to get used to such a feeling. Even being able to touch him in the smallest sense ignited an intensity within my bones, reminding me of Demetri’s words from earlier. ‘ _ The passion nagging just right below the surface?’  _ With each moment passing, it came closer and closer to breaking the surface to fully showcasing itself. 

* * *

At this point, I was only hearing fragments of the stories Demetri was telling me. Hints of his past, of the things he could only vaguely remember, his desires of wherever he wanted to travel in the future, all the places and climates he wanted to eventually see. And stories upon stories of the missions he had. They were grotesque, but fascinating. Seeing how easy it was for vampires to go against the laws this so allied Volturi had put into place. 

My brain was exhausted. Not so much from the leftover drinking from the night before, but rather than finally opening up. Finally allowing for my own emotions to be heard, and to hear some back. To hear, and attempt to understand more than my own imagination could have ever come up with. Despite getting more sleep in the last twenty four hours than I probably had in the last three days before that, I was ready to rest once more. 

After a while, words stopped flowing between us. My head lulled to the side, eyes slowly starting to flutter into fully closing. The shuffle of the couch against fabric urged me to slightly open my eyes, just enough to see Demetri shifting closer to me, so that our shoulders were touching.

“Sleep, love. My shoulder is here for you.” His voice was soft, angelic in my ears. He barely spoke over a whisper, yet I could hear him crystal clear, his lips close to my ear. It could nearly send shivers down my spine, if my brain was even in a place to be concerned over those things. 

“Mhhh, okay. Wake me if anything happens.” My voice felt groggy, eyes barely being able to stay open. There was no reason to fight the sleep any longer. I trusted him. Even after all he had told me, I trusted him. There was no purpose to fear when he was near; he could protect me. 

“There’s no reason to worry, you’re safe now.” And with those words, my brain fell fast into sleep, the cold arms of Demetri wrapped around my torso, pulling me into his own body. 


	16. Chapter Fifteen

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York.

She was beautiful, stunning in fact. Words could hardly even reach to start with how lovely he had found her. The way her chest moved up and down with each shallow breath, the way that her leg would flinch ever so often. The way that her head tucked down into her own body, with his cloak nearly covering up to her eyes. How her bronze hair fell into place over one half of her face, disguising part of her beauty. He had only fumbled with it once, pushing it back beyond her ear, ever so slightly as to not wake her. Within minutes, however, it has resumed its place back over her jawline, and he let it stay. It framed the curve of her face so elegantly anyways.

That image would be stuck with him forever, seeing how at peace and calm the human was. How she had just heard tales of death and horror, of bloodshed and fear, and yet, she fell right asleep. In his own arms. With his cloak covering her legs, keeping her warm. Listening intently to her breathing, he knew the second that she had fallen asleep. Finally when her heartbeat had calmed all the way, and he had traced over her figure with his eyes a million times, he rose. He grabbed a nearby decorative pillow from the couch, and made sure to rest her head upon it, replacing where he just sat. He tugged his own cloak all the way up to her chest, even going as far to make sure that her feet were covered, so they wouldn't become cold at any point during her rest time. It was herself later who would pull it up. How she herself had tugged that piece of fabric up so far, took a deeper breath than usual, and smiled.  _ Smiled.  _ She had  _ smiled at the scent of him, the warmth of him.  _ That was enough to make him high.

Leaving the living room, with one final glance at her, he decided he would aid her in the small tasks she had wanted to accomplish. He heard her final words over the phone about doing the dishes before he had finally knocked on her front door, started the conversation that changed it all. 

This brought him back to how all these events had occurred so seamlessly. 

It was nine in the morning when he had arrived. From outside of the house, he heard the girl shuffle about, talking to someone else on the phone. From the voice he could make out, it sounded like her roommate, Aurora. He knew only what Ellia had told him of her, and the very little he picked up when he was watching his soulmate. Most of the time, she was the only thing that captured his attention, he couldn't bear to look over anyone but her. How kind she was to the ones she loved, how closely she listened when they spoke. How she seemed unbothered by their relationships. How she did not seek anyone out in terms of a romance, no matter how clear it was the way that others looked at her. How oblivious she seemed to her beauty, to her own passion and compassion. 

How easily she had seemed to come to terms with the fact that he was an immortal, how paramount it was that she not speak of it to anyone--ever. She listened so well, and asked all the questions that he had anticipated. He wished he was able to explain things more thoroughly, but as time passed, he was sure more and more would become revealed. He was elated. Elated he did not have to harm her, or threaten her with any words that had some kind of validity. Rather, here he was, in her house, while she trusted him enough to fall asleep directly on the couch, leaving him to himself.

Maybe she believed that he had also fallen asleep too. He humored the idea, a light smile lingering on his lips as he looked at the girl once more before regaining his steps to move again. 

Entering the kitchen, the large sliding glass door greeted him with the sight of snow. He had missed the way the light fluffy snow felt beneath his feet, how welcoming it was despite his lack of ever growing up near it. It reminded him of the exhilaration of far away missions, of hunting down those who had betrayed the one law they were swore to uphold. Here he was now, breaking the most sacred. 

It also reminded him of Felix, the one he came here with. The one he had left outdoors, ushering him away until he was prepared. Either to harm the one he loved, or to return home. Now that the human was sleeping however, it was as good a time as any to simply check in with him.

Quietly he grabbed onto the door handle, sliding the door to the left, ever so slightly as to not disturb the white blinds that hung from a rod above them, allowing for privacy when needed. Within seconds, Felix was standing in front of him, already sensing everything that Demetri had to tell him.

“Everything has been handled?” His voice was husky, and his hood was pulled all the way up to the corners of his face, despite the privacy the two men had at the very back of the home, where no families would be able to spot them through the thickness of the winter trees. 

“Yes, much better than originally anticipated.” It was impossible to hide the happiness that leaked through his every word, the fact that he finally was able to hold the girl of his whole entire world right between his arms. He had never felt such a feeling before. 

“She hasn't spoken to anyone? No one at all? And you trust her word?” His questions were valid, only slightly lined with concern. The two men trusted each other. If one said something was true, then it was. 

“Not a single word. She has remained loyal to our secret.” He responded bluntly. That was enough to explain.

“So we are ready to return home then, to our Masters?” The answer should have been an easy yes. Their mission was over now. The human was not a threat, sworn to secrecy. She knew what she had to, and refused to utter any words about it. She knew what would happen if she did. Unfortunately, the answer was not as easy as a yes. Demetri had finally gotten his love back, and he didn't desire to leave her so soon after. 

The smaller figure paused before talking, thinking his choices over. “Not yet. I wish to stay a little longer, to grow closer to Ellia before we have to leave. Warm her up to the idea of us further before we have to leave.”

“So it would be smart of me then to check into a hotel nearby then? How long do we plan on staying brother?” He didn’t question his motives. For the first time since the human had left, Demetri was finally at ease. No more panicking, no more moody thoughts, no more anxious decisions. His blood singer brought out the calmness in him. Felix could get used to that. 

“Yes, I believe that would be your wisest decision. Will you get in contact with Aro, let him know what I have told you? I will call him myself if anything changes. All he needs to know now is that everything is handled, and that the human is not a threat to our survival. She will remain safe as long as I am here with her.” Despite his smaller statue, and his lacking physical muscle tone, his voice gave him control. The power in which he spoke with, the demanding of his tone without any slight of consdencing nature. All it took was a curt nod from Felix before he left the tracker standing there, in the bliss of the cold wind. Unnoticeable to his own skin, but obvious to his sight. How the trees swayed in his presence, how it riled the snow from the ground upwards, shifting it over and over again. 

Returning back inside, he made sure to lock the door behind him, pulling the blinds down ever so slightly. The time was one now, as the girl’s oven read. In all honesty, even though Demetri had not seen very many houses other than the castle he currently lived in, and the occasional place they saw on missions, he knew that this residence was stunning in many ways. It was clear that Ellia had come from a place of wealth, despite never making mention of it. She seemed to be grateful for all that she had, and constantly desired to give back rather than hoarding the money that may have come her way. 

He made his way to the dishes that laid on the counter and in the sink, not even sure where to begin. He had no idea the last time he had even stepped foot into a kitchen, let alone kept care of any dishes that were in front of his eyes. If humans could manage the task, he was sure he would be able to. 

His eyes dashed across the counter to the dishwasher on the opposite side of where he was standing, and as he looked at the different buttons and settings for the machine, he had no idea what he was in for. What was the difference between a power scrub wash, high temperature dry, or a rinse and hold? There were too many options for him to choose between. He would be safer just washing them by hand.

However, he did not take into account how delicate glasses would be, instantly crushing the first one between his fingertips the moment he tried to place a wet rag on the surface. At the sound, which was much louder than he anticipated it would be, he heard Ellia stirring in the other room. He would have to apologize for causing a mess. He simply wanted to help the female, lessen the load that was evident upon her shoulders. 

“Demetri?” He heard from the living room, and moments later she stood at the edge of the doorframe, his deep gray cloak tugged around her whole body, swallowing her whole. Her eyes were half shut, the huskiness clear in her voice despite only sleeping for an hour at the most. “Are you okay? What happened?” Her glance shifted from his body to the glass at his feet, and she trudged her way over towards him, her robe dragging across the light colored limestone flooring. The contrast between the deepness of her figure and the exterior of what was going around her was present to Demetri, who could only laugh lightly at himself.

“I just wanted to help. I can only imagine how stressed you’ve been. But it appears as though I underestimated my strength.” He couldn't hold back the laugh that came out from his own mouth. He wanted to hide the slight amount of embarrassment that could leak through at the inability to do such a mundane, human task. How would he ever impress the girl? Prove to her that he was worthy of her love? 

“Or overestimated the power of a wine glass.” She let out a faint giggle, placing the tracker’s clothing on the counter near the dishwasher. He watched as she carefully walked to the other side of the kitchen, reaching inside of a pantry for a broom. She walked back over to him, her eyes cast down on the flooring as to avoid stepping on any glass shards.

“That could be it too,” As she tossed the dustpan onto the floor, and attempted to usher the male out of the way, he stopped her, grabbing the broom from her hand. “Let me do it, I caused the mess in the first place.”

“Okay,” She smiled, taking a step back from him. “If you say so.” While she took a step back, he could sense the blood before she had even realized she had cut the underside of her foot. 

“Ah, fuck.” Came the mumble of her voice. 

Demetri tried to keep his internal monologue as quiet as possible. He was in the kitchen with his bloodsinger,  _ who, by the way, has the sweetest smelling blood in the entire world, and who he wished he could drain until she was laying completely limp on the floor in front of him _ , by focusing on taking actions one at a time. First, he told himself,  _ grab the back of her neck first,  _ stop himself from breathing, no inhaling at all. Then, t _ urn her so that she's laying flush against your chest, her neck exposed, _ ask her if she’s okay, know she isn't even if she claims she is.  _ Brush her hair to the side, feel her heart racing more and more with every second you waste.  _ Guide her to the table, keep her off her cut foot.  _ Give her body a moment to warm up, it always makes the blood go down smoother _ . Ask her where the bandages and first aid supply kit is.  _ Kiss her neck gently.  _ Grab said supplies, clean the cut, remove the glass that may be lingering below the surface.  _ Sink your teeth into her.  _ Still no breathing. Control it all. 

_ Drain her of her blood flow.  _ Put the bandaids over the cut, keep asking her over and over again if she is doing okay.  _ Feel her heartbeat decrease until it was completely still in the house.  _ Take a glass of water, make sure she drinks it all.  _ Take pleasure in every single moment, trying to not waste a drop of the blood that would come out of her body into his own _ . Stop, calm himself. Congratulate that he didn’t drain her. 

“Demetri?” The vampire's eyes, as dark as the midnight sky, flicked up the Ellia. She had already made her way to the table, resting on one of the deep mahogany colored chairs. She had her foot up, crossed over her knee, picking out some of the glass shards that had in fact made her way just below the skin. Her voice was lathered with concern. How foolish she was. How she had no idea how intoxicating just the mere idea of her blood was, how quickly he could kill her and have no second opinions.

Well, he may have second opinions. But it would be after hours of sitting there, relishing in the sweetness of her. 

How long had he been paused there? Thinking about all the different ways he could taste of Ellia’s blood, savor every moment that he had the ability to take part in it. He had to get control of himself. He could feed later, but not now. He had to focus. Make sure that his human was doing okay, that she hadn't hurt herself beyond just a few scratches. 

“Are you okay?” Finally came the sound of his voice. He couldn't help himself, racing over to the side of the human, taking over for her as he picked the remaining shards from her foot. He wasn't a doctor by any means, but he had come in contact with his fair share of injuries, even if he was able to heal from them quicker than anyone. Ellia smiled down at him, watching how meticulously he worked. 

The vampire would hate to admit it, especially to anyone who viewed the Volturi as unstoppable, apathetic beings, but he held the largest soft spot for the female. Despite just envisioning the way in which he could drain her of her very life, he knew it would be near impossible to commit the act. She was his, only his, and he couldn't take that away. To kill her would be to commit suicide to himself. 

“The bandaids are going to be above the sink, right in the counter. The rubbing alcohol will be in there too, if you could grab that as well,” Ellia pointed near the sink where the shards had just been spilt minutes prior. Demetri made his way over, without speaking, and grabbed the exact beige colored coverings, and the alcohol that Ellia had spoken of. He was already angry at himself for thinking about harming the girl. How selfish of him to allow his own self to indulge in such visions. “Don’t forget the cloth, drawer right next to you on the left” She added on as he walked back towards her. “You’ve never had to do anything like this before, have you?” She smiled at him, no teeth poking through. Just the innocence and warmth of her heart. 

“Never.” Came the husky voice of Demetri, finally. 

“I’ll walk you through it then.” She grabbed the cloth and rubbing alcohol from his hands, leaving him with only the bandages. “You’ll be okay with this right? This isn't pushing any boundaries?” She placed her hand, as delicately as possible on Demetri’s own. Their eyes met, and although she was taken aback by their blackness, she tried to not show it. She smiled, and traced her thumb lightly over the top of his palm.

“It’s nothing I can't handle.” His response was curt, rude almost. Part of it hurt the girl’s feelings. She had just wanted to respect the male, making sure that she wasn't testing any limits. The last thing she wanted to do was end up dead in her own home. And yet, Demetri was still upset with himself, taking it out on her, his only love. 

“Okay,” Ellia grumbled unhappily. She poured a small amount of the liquid onto the white hand towel, before pressing it down to the underside of her foot. Instantly, profanities began to tumble out of her lips. Her other hand reached out to Demetri, holding tightly to his bicep, her fingernails pressing into the surface. “This is the part that hurts the worst. God, fuck,” She bit her lip, her eyes shutting tightly. “I fucking hate this part.”

“What hurts so badly? Is there anything I can do?” His eyes traced the death grip that she held on him, feeling little to nothing. Human suffering was so peculiar to him. How easily pain was to embrace them, to destroy them limb to limb. 

“Can you unpeel the bandaids for me?” With one hand, Demetri unworked two coverings from their packaging as fast as possible, holding them out to the female. “You work quickly, you know?” Her laugh was relieving to hear, for he feared that she could understand and hear every one of his thoughts, somehow knew all of the vile things he had thought of doing to her. 

“What hurts so badly about the alcohol?” He repeated his initial question.

“Just stings, is all. It helps to disinfect the area so it doesn't get all gross with bacteria and make it into an even larger problem than it has to be.” Another swear emitted from her mouth as she removed the cloth, put more liquid onto it, and repeated the process. 

They worked in silence after that, Ellia cleaning the area before she would have Demetri place a bandage on, walking him through the process to make sure the area was covered. How simple of a task that he had never had to take part in, had never even thought about more than likely. One day she would have to introduce him into the world of themed bandaids, maybe even make him sport a princess themed one if she could. 

After they finished, Demetri helped her stand up, watching her as she walked back over to the counter, this time paying extra attention to where the glass shards were still scattered about on the floor.

“Here, I’ll finish picking those up.” Demetri grabbed for the broom while Ellia stood back until he was out of the way. She reached for the dishes while the vampire placed the broom right where he had seen her gather it, tossing the broken glass into the trash can. 

“Come here, let me show you how humans do the dishes.” She joked lightly at him, running the water under each plate and glass, grabbing all of the silverware and tossing it into a plastic cup, to ‘soak’ as she had said. She scrubbed every item, while he worked on drying. After the first few plates and bowls, he had the process down and once again the silence returned.

It was simple for the both of them to work side by side in harmony with no issues. 

After the tidying up was finished, Demetri wasn't sure what else to do. So he did what he knew best, asked to leave. “Would you care to walk me to the door?” The two sat in the living room, doing little talking. Ellia was texting Aurora, filling in on her with the little details that she hadnt had the ability to earlier, he assumed. 

“Yeah, yeah. Of course I will.” She stood up, grabbing his cloak as she draped it around her own shoulders, pulling it tightly into her body. After the dishes, she had grabbed it once more. He could sense how much comfort it had given her. She set her phone down on the couch, and seemed to trudge behind him, wanting to hold onto all the time she could. 

“Thank you,” He spoke as a courtesy. They both stood, staring at each other in the foyer, willing the other one to talk first. To say the goodbyes neither party wanted. “I suppose it’s time for me to leave then. I’ll see you soon enough, right?” He didn't want to make mention of it, but he knew that this moment was going to be impossible for the both of them. Saying goodbye was never easy. 

“Uh, yeah. Of course you will. Just a few more weeks, that’s all.” At this notion, both of them were brought back to this morning. How far away it seemed now. It felt bittersweet, to leave his love so soon. If he stretched it far enough, it felt wrong. Wrong to leave her as lonely as he had found her, wrong to disappear after only getting her back so soon, wrong to walk out when all he wanted to do was stay. But he knew he had to go, he wasn't welcomed for an elongated stay. 

“Do you not want your jacket back?” She had asked him while they were standing, eyes staring at eyes. 

“No. Keep it. You’ll need it much more than I will. I’ll see you soon enough anyways,” He took a quick break from talking just to admire the way the female looked in the cloak, overtaking the entire size of her body, nearly drowning her in. “I promise I’ll keep in touch. Stay safe, please, and please do not try to drink yourself into excess anymore. Otherwise I may have to pay you another visit.” Lifting his hand, he delicately placed it on her cheekbone, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Without thought, she rested her head back up against it, shutting her eyes briefly. The cold touch was welcoming, calming. 

As he removed his hand, her eyes opened, appearing slightly damp. He couldn't bear the sight of his soulmate (if he even had one in the first place--Aro liked to argue that none of them did at this point in their life), with tears daring to overflow from her deep brown eyes. So he forced his body to turn away, hand just starting to reach out for the door handle, preparing to leave this girl right where he had found her. Lonely, terrified, and horribly, horribly sad. 

The words that fell out of her lips stopped him in his tracks. 

“Demetri?” Her voice was gentle, pleading almost. At the sound, the vampire turned back to her, her eyes opened wide as they looked up to the larger figure. At the sight, Demetri swore he could have melted right there. Give the girl whatever it was she had desired in this world. Those bronze eyes, to match her hair, how they had just the tint of tears lingering below the surface. He wished he could remove any of the pain that laid in her heart. 

“Yes, my love?” She only replied with what sounded like a light mumble, barely audible to the human ear. The tracker already knew what she had spoken, but just to hear it one more time, he begged the question. “Speak again?”

“Will you stay with me?” She began. “Until I have to go back to school? My mother won't be home anytime soon, and I’ve just been...so lonely. It would be nice to have someone else here with me, to keep me company. Maybe even then I could come back to Italy a few days early?” She seemed so soft, so innocent in the dim light of the foyer. How small her body had appeared in comparison to his own, only accentuated by the massive cloak she bore, pulled tightly around her own figure with her arms. It took all of his strength to not pull her into a kiss right then and there, to not grab her by the fold of her back, and to rest their bodies next to each other, finally feel their lips against each other for the first time. How many times he had thought of the situation over and over again, planning it meticulously in his head. How perfect he had hoped it could be. 

“And why would that be?” In moments like these he had wished he was Edward, the ability to read the human thoughts. Know what she wanted before she could ask, not have to sit there in antipaticiton. Or be like Alice, see all the possible outcomes to his question. 

“I could meet him. Aro, I mean. It would be better to see him sooner rather than later, right?” Once more, the vampire wanted to drown just in the concept of the female that stood across from him. She had no worries of the death that could face her, or the anxiety that would come from develing so deep into a world that she had not even known existed. Rather, she cared about keeping things simple for everyone but herself. “I’m sorry if that sounds stupid. I’m sorry. You can go home, I don’t want to--”

Demetri stopped her mid sentence. It had taken him a moment to collect his thoughts, being so stunned at the human’s willingness. “Ellia, do not apologize. I will gladly stay with you. And your idea is brilliant. It’s a perfect way of introducing yourself to Aro, and the people I live with. Thank you for giving me this opportunity, and for trusting me enough to even bring it up.”

“I don't think there would be a way for me to not trust you, Demetri.” Her voice was soft again, so fragile.

He couldn't convey all what he wanted to say into words. He wanted to tell her how beautiful she looked, despite the bags underneath her eyes, the slightest amount of wine that lingered on her breath. He wanted to thank her for being so patient, and trying her best to be understanding of his limits. He wanted to say that he loved her, even though he knew her human brain wouldn't be able to fathom such a concept yet. He wanted to say sorry for showing up too late, for not putting enough effort into their relationship earlier on.

The human couldn't think either. For once, instead of allowing her brain to wander aimlessly as she looked at the man in front of her, she let her emotions take hold. Let her heart guide her.

Standing up on her tiptoes, letting the cloak fall behind her, she raised her hands up to the vampires cheeks. The cold touch that greeted her was relieving, invigorating, exciting. She heard the slight thud of the fabric hitting the ground, placing all of her attention on the vampire that was existing right in front of her.

The warmth that her fingers gave him was inviting. His only home was back in Italy. That’s what he had convinced himself for years. That’s where he belonged. Yet, with this woman in front of him, it felt like his home was no longer a place. She was a breathing, blood flowing through her veins, human.

Neither being had any idea how much time had passed. It could have been seconds, minutes, hours. 

It was Ellia who made the final move. Shutting her bronze eyes, the ones Demetri had fallen in love with, she used the pressure of her hands on his cheekbones, lifting herself up just the smallest amount to finally be face to face, lips to lips.

He closed the final gap, one of his arms coming to rest on the edge of her back, supporting her as she stood on her toes.

And after centuries of waiting, Demetri got to kiss his soulmate. 


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Winter 2014.

Rochester, New York.

Time moved impossibly slow. The feeling of his freezing lips hit mine, and it was then that I wished I would never be able to move. That I could sit here, his hands upon my waist, pulling me ever closer into his body. My hands moved from the sides of his cheeks to the nape of his neck, my fingertips becoming entangled in his hair. My brain tossed around the thought of giving the ends of them a soft tug, just to see his reaction. Deciding to play it safe instead, I thought against the idea and instead just let them roam from neck to the top of his head, trying to be as gentle as possible.

One of his hands moved from my lower back up higher, towards my shoulder blades, while the other stayed in its exact same spot. The sweatshirt I was wearing hiked up ever so slightly, allowing for his fingers to hit my exposed skin, sending shivers through the entirety of my body.  _ How was it so possible for one to feel so cold? Did he ever realize how freezing just his existence was? How it could send shockwaves through my body, eventually freezing me to the very spot that I was standing in?  _

Lips were still moving against each other, myself taking small breaths here and there throughout the kisses. It had been so long since I had been this intimate with another human being, since I had found myself so at ease in the hands of someone else, so calm in the idea of losing myself within another. 

At the same moment that I wanted to dive deeper, to find my own body pushed flush up against his own, he pulled back. 

He pulled back. 

_ Oh shit.  _

“This is a bad idea.” His mouth was a mere inches from mine still, those eyes that I had seen change from ruby red to black and back to crimson again now returned back to their onyx color. At this point I had grown used to seeing such a change, and seeing the black neither frightened nor surprised me. I pulled back just enough so that his hands slipped from my body, and my own fell limply to my sides. 

“What do you mean? I thought things were going okay...I’m sorry if I...if I’m not the best kisser…” At that moment I was disappointed in myself. The words that had spilled were so sheepish of me. I  _ knew  _ I wasn't the most advanced in these romantic regards, but there was no need of him to  _ solidify  _ such thoughts. How this exact scene would run upon my head in the days to come, I didn't even want to imagine. How stupid I felt, how I had wished I had had more boyfriends before him, more experience. 

“No, no, Ellia, that’s not it at all.”  _ Really? That was hard to believe after the ten different stories my brain decided to spin for me.  _

“What is it then? Something, vampires related?” That was the best excuse I could come up with. How long it would take for me to learn boundaries, to understand how fragile I had to be with someone who could destroy me, I had no idea. But it was going to take patience that my mind normally hated to give me in the first place. At least his laugh was there to comfort my idiocracy. 

“You could say that much.” His words were so simple, yet spoke in such an elegant manner that it made me hate him. Hate him, I guess, was a strong way to put it. I don't think in a million years I could hate the man standing in front of me, my brain couldn't even happen upon a scenario that would give me such intense feelings. And for me, who could cry at the drop of a pin, these ideas startled me. The deepness of which I had fallen into a relationship with someone who I hardly knew, just even in a human sense, yet alone even beginning to understand the complexities of vampire sense, was terrifying. 

“Okay,” I told him. “I can try to understand that much. I’m sorry.”

“Don't say it’s your fault, my love. It’s not. It is my fault for not understanding my limits. It’s dangerous for me to be with you in the first place, so alone. In the middle of nowhere. No one nearby, no neighbors to hear,” His eyes continued in their black state, never changing, foreboding imminent danger.  _ Would I have to get used to these feelings? Of fear and prayers that he would find the strength to not kill me?  _ He continued on. “With abilities like mine, my dear, you have no idea how  _ silly _ it is to remain with me. How stupid humans can be, in their pursuit of love. The risks which you are willing to take just to feel a fraction of emotion. Although I suppose I am nothing better. Jeopardizing my livelihood, everything I’ve ever known. For you. A human. How silly I may have thought of myself once.” With every sentence his voice became deeper, his eyes never leaving my own. At some phrases, I swore I saw his lips twitch upwards in some kind of sadistic look. Those light pink lips. My brain danced with the idea of them being soaked in my own blood, in other’s blood.  _ A killer.  _ He was a killer.  _ A goddamn killer and here I was standing here kissing him.  _ Kissing him on the same mouth as he had once taken the lives of others with. 

My heart began to pump at his words, the adrenaline threatening to send me rushing out the front door into the openness of the white world around me. He wasn't wrong. This was dangerous. And incredibly stupid of myself. 

_ Stay calm.  _ I told myself. His hand reached back up to my jawline, pushing it up ever so slightly with his two fingers, exposing my neck to his own eyesight more clearly.  _ Stay calm.  _ I knew that he had to hear my heart, know how worried just the mere idea of him hurting me made me. But if I allowed my words to stay flat, emotionless, maybe I could convince him that he wouldn't hurt me, that there was no fun in doing something. Then, if I was lucky enough, he would leave me alone. Slip back to the Demetri that I was just starting to know. 

“Demetri. Let’s not ruin the moment,” My voice cracked.  _ There goes the whole calm aura I was trying to give off.  _ However, this seemed to break him out of whatever mental state he was slipping into. “Please?” The plea was added for my own gain. For my own safety. My own emotions. His hand slipped from my neck, his eyes flickered back to mine rather than what his dinner could have been. When he spoke, I heard a softer edge to the words. 

“Just this once, my love. Anything for you.” The hand that had just slipped found its way to my shoulder, down the side of my figure before landing on my hip. Over my sweatshirt this time, I was unable to feel the sensation of his freezing touch. 

His words rang in my ears as he tugged my body back to his own once more, the kiss more gente now than it was minutes ago. A kiss was not something I was anticipating following his words. They gave me whiplash, nearly.  _ Anything for you.  _

It dawned on me, not even for the first time on this day, how pathetic I had become around his man. Once sworn to independence and freedom, to just pursue my education and not worry about where a relationship would find itself in such a place. But here I was, in the palms of this man.  _ Anything for you.  _

How when I met him, from the very night he laid his ruby red eyes upon my own brown ones, I had fallen into a pit that was too deep to ever dig myself out of. How my brain had become filled with the concept of being with him, of hoping to see him with every passing moment, even when I knew I should have been studying, or doing something productive.  _ Anything for you.  _

The way in which I had imagined this scene a million times over in my head, waiting for the moment in which lips would finally touch. The way in which I had tried to hide my feelings for far too many months, had wasted all the time by simply refusing to make a move.  _ Anything for you.  _

Why did it take me so long to realize? _Anything for you._

I was in love. In love with a vampire, who had the complete power to harm me. To kill me, if he so desired. Who could, at this very moment, have a switch turn on in his brain, just like it had in the kitchen. How dangerous he was to me was only starting to become clear. But none of it mattered. I wanted him. Him, wholly and completely. All of the danger, all of the pain. All of it would be a blessing just to be considered his. 

_ Anything for you.  _

This kiss ended much more peaceful than the last, myself allowing for a small break to take a breath. In the meantime, Demetri slipped his hand away from my body, it falling flat at his side while he took the tiniest of steps away to give us both the proper space to reset our postures. 

“That was...nice.” The blush pooled in my cheeks as my eyes fell to the floor.   
“It was wonderful, my love. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to share such intimacy with someone else, nevertheless a human.” I had to agree with him there. Sharing such affection with someone else was much different than my original plan of waiting until I was secure in a place of education and work until I found any kind of meaning in another being. 

“Should that be taken as a compliment?” My eyes darted up to his own, which never once left the features on my face. He seemed to be in a constant state of analyzing me, trying to read my emotions and my feelings that could never be easily concealed. 

“I think you neglect to understand the way in which you affect my every being, Ellia. I have been a vampire for ages, much longer than some of my other brothers and sisters. In that time I’ve mastered my skill, my abilities. I’ve mastered my thirst except for when it comes to the hunt. Around humans, I can be nearly unaffected if I must, for necessity of a mission or just for pleasure. But with you...it is although I am a newborn again, slave to my thirst and my needs. It's beyond aggravating to feel so weak, even more so when I work for the Volturi, when I’m supposed to be one of the strongest vampires to exist. So please, do not believe for a second that you mean anything less than the world to me, or that you are unable to affect just the way I survive. You are my everything now. For the rest of my time. The rest of my existence.” His eyes never blinked. He seemed to never breathe during any part of his own speech. He was focused solely on me, and my existence. 

“Demetri, stop,” I gave him a gentle shove on his chest, only to find what felt like a solid piece of rock hitting me back. “You’re going to make me blush more than I should be able.” He was less like rock, it was rude of me to deny him more pleasurable words. A statue. He was like a statue in a garden full of nothing but roses and full bloomed white hydrangeas, baby breaths dancing in the wind among his face. He was the stark contrast of the delicacy of the things among him, yet the formation that gave them all purpose. 

“I hope to never forget that sight. The blood pooling in your cheeks reminds me of your fragility, your everlasting beauty.” His head tilted as he analyzed my face even more.  _ Would he ever get tired of watching me with  _ those  _ eyes? The hunger seemed to linger just beneath the surface.  _

“You’re the only person I’ll allow to speak to me in such cliches.” I shook my head at him. 

“ _ Cliches?  _ Should I be offended?” His voice had an edge to it, but not anything full of malice or anger. It had a ting of humor, just the smallest bit of playfulness. 

“Yes, yes you should,” It was endearing to hear him sound so informal, so casual around me. “Alright, come on, let’s go do something else besides stand here and have you try and woe me some more.” A slight laugh emerged from my lips while I reached to pick up the cloak that I had let fall from my shoulders earlier, reminding me every so slightly of the passion that had just encased the two of us. The raw, unprotected intensity that was both dangerous and exhilarating.   
“What do you have in mind then?” He trailed me as I walked, myself leading him back to the living room so I could place his garment back onto a chair so that I wouldn't have to worry about lugging it around as we made our way around the house. If he was going to be living in the same home as me until we returned back to Europe, I may as well make him acquainted with all that he would be surrounded with. Show him the guest room and my own bedroom. 

“Well, I mean, it is Christmas, even though it may not feel like it. And I do have some more chores to finish up with, hopefully this time without any accidents. So, why don’t I show you how a human like me celebrates Christmas in the states while I also teach you how to do some mundane tasks that I’m sure you haven't touched in years?” I smiled back at him, my hand on the back of the seat that I had just placed his fabric on. We now faced each other as I awaited his response. 

“That would be wonderful, my dearl. If I’m being honest, I don’t remember the last time I celebrated a holiday completely. Where do we start?” He responded. 

“I think getting the chores out of the way would be the best thing to do, so I don’t have to have them nagging at me in the back of my head while I’m at least attempting to get into the spirit.” Walking past him, he once again began the task of trailing me through the house, awaiting the newest mundane adventure with a human. 

Time passed quickly while I walked him through laundry and tidying up the house. He learned the ways around my basement, and saw just the glimpse of my room when I tugged the laundry bin out of it. I figured that would be a place I could show him later, when I show him to his bedroom for the next few weeks. There was a badgering thought in the back of my brain though that I couldn't quite force away.

_ What if you offered him a spot in your bed?  _

Even just the idea made me blush. I wasn't a teenager anymore, not afraid of interaction with another human being, but it had been a while since I shared my bed with anyone else, nevertheless a love interest of any kind. Even if I trusted Demetri with my life, there was no saying if I would be able to trust myself. Throughout the tasks we performed together, the idea bounced around back and forth, distracting me from doing things that were so ingrained into my brain that I hardly needed to be mentally present to do them. Maybe if I dared, I could ask Demetri to spend the night with me in my room just for tonight, just for Christmas. 

In some ways, I was glad today was the day he decided to come to my doorstep. 

Christmas. How blessed the day was meant to be, how full of joy and happiness, free of worries. Considering how my Christmas Eve had gone, in a drunken state, I had low hopes for today anyways. No family to spend it with, no presents to open besides ones that had been shipped from websites and stores, with wrapping paper somehow present was beyond me. I promised my mother I would open them, but trying to fathom the idea of opening them without her felt so  _ empty _ . Maybe with Demetri here I could manage to get through them without a mess of tears coming.

I wondered if Demetri had considered getting me a gift. The idea had definitely come across my head, but considering how little I knew about him, prior to the event that was today, it felt inappropriate. I’m sure he felt the same. He had to of. But maybe throughout the week or so that he would be spending with me here, I could find some kind of present to thank him for deciding and saying yes to being with me. It meant more than I think he could truly realize. 

“Are you doing okay?” Demetri’s voice was soft, his hand reaching out to touch the bottom of my back. My eyes snapped to him, then to the pile of clothing that had to be sitting in my hands for a few moments now. My brain had gone into overdrive again, rendering me useless against its willpower. 

I nodded, shoving the last piece of clothing into the washing machine before hitting the start button. “Yeah, sometimes my brain just tends to wander.” I told him, trying not to go into any more detail about the fact that him and him alone took up the entirety of my mind anytime he was remotely near. 

“What’s next then?” He asked as the sound of the washing machine faded into the distance. Tilting my head to the side, I thought about the options. Dishes and laundry were done now, and the basement was nearly spotless after cleaning it up early this same morning. It was hard to imagine a drunken me, only twenty-four agos, stumbling around spitting out insults to Demetri. Part of me felt bad. 

“I can show you the guest bedroom, if you want?” I turned so that my hands rested behind me, on the edge of the rumbling washing machine. My head cocked to the side as I suddenly became conscious of the fact that I was coming to the portion of this extended stay that I was dreading. Well, maybe dreading wasn't the right word. It was more like--

“Ellia, you are aware of the notion that I do not sleep, correct?” His words cut off my thinking again, his eyebrows raised as if he was telling me something that I should have known. Something that should have come up on my... _ research.  _

“What the fuck?” The words escaped my mouth as a I swung a hand up towards them, almost as if to catch them before they tumbled out. They came out harsher than I had intended. “I mean, what the fuck?” My tone was calmer, and I could see Demetri grin, half of his mouth raised up as he stifled a laugh. 

“Vampires. We have the unique ability to not need sleep.” His response was simple. 

“What do you normally do with all that extra time then?” Hoping he understood my curiosity, I decided to press slightly for more knowledge. I would take whatever he would give me. 

“Partake in the arts, I suppose. Although, what art is varies greatly from one to another.” His tone was teasing in a way, almost begging me to ask a question even if the answer may not have been ideal. 

“And to you? What is your version of art, Demetri?” My lips cocked up at the side, my hands disappearing from the edge of the machine and one of them landing on my hip. My head followed the direction of my lip, 

“I don't think you would care to hear about that. It may tant your ears.” His voice had dropped an octave, dangerously low and seductive in a way. I wasn't sure I truly wanted to hear what he spent those extra eight hours a night doing, but the method in which he spoke drew me in. Forced me to keep asking questions even when I knew I would hate the answer. 

“I think I do, Demetri.” My voice was quieter than it should have been. I wanted to sound as powerful as he did, as strong willed and determined. Rather, I was once again reminded of my human-ness, my inferiority in most regards. 

“Women. Lots of women.” Was his painless answer. Painless on his end, at the very least. 

“Interesting.” Was my only remark back. Although part of me may have felt particularly sad at the notion, the jealousy that was riding to the surface seeked to show itself. There was no reason for me to be jealous of other females that were once present in his life, right? Earlier it had appeared as though he claimed I was going to be his forever, and that I was to be with his side until the universe would end one day. 

_ Which, come to think of it, did in fact sound at least a little startling. Maybe if it wasn't for the rising jealousy out of nowhere, and my emotion’s abilities to trust before logic set in that repulsed the idea of sending him away. That rejoiced anytime I let him closer. Maybe it was the kiss earlier, in the foyer on my own living space, thousands of millions away from where we had met, that had sealed my fate. Even though I could understand that this was incredibly idiotic of myself, to trust someone who had stalker-like tendencies and who I was only starting to learn the most basic of ideas about, I couldnt stop myself. Over and over again, my brain reminded me. I was in love. In love without having nearly anyone's approval.  _

He didn't speak on the topic anymore, just letting my single word answer linger in the space between us. Knowing almost, that I would dare say nothing further.

_ Stupid fucking vampires and their intimate knowledge of mankind.  _

Instead of standing against the machine any longer, letting its soft rumbles shake my body ever so slightly, I headed past Demetri’s own figure up to the main level of the floor, checking the time on the oven clock as I spotted it from my vantage point. 2:30pm, read out in their generic red print. Despite it being past lunch time, and the low amount of food that I had consumed in recent hours, I couldn't even fathom putting anything down. The reminder of throwing up the contents of everything just earlier this morning still rang out clearly in my head. 

Without any words, I led Demetri up the stairs to the floor where both of our bedrooms would be. If he even needed them. 

Pushing open the door to the guest, I walked a few steps into the room, letting Demetri take a glance around. Following his yes, I could see him sinking in every ounce of the room, leaving nothing else to see. “If you decide to stay in a bed for some extended period of time, or need a break from me, this can be your room. Is that okay?” Taking a look at the room myself, I smiled at the contrast it had between Demetri’s own stereotype. The comforter was white, free of any blemishes. Same with the walls, minus the light gray that my mother’s favorite “feature” wall took on. The dresser matched the deep brown shade of the bed frame, same with the small desk that sat in the edge of the room, in case any guests ever needed to work while they stayed with us. We never had any guests, and I never understood my mother's fascination for having a fully designed room that would never be used. But, it was her house, not mine, and her money, not mine. 

He nodded. “It’s lovely.” 

Shutting the door behind us, I led him next to the bathroom that was in between our own two rooms. The same pristiness was evident here, except for my fair share of beauty products that proved this portion of the house was lived in. “This is the bathroom, of course,” A laugh huffed out of my lips, finally seeming to clear the smallest amount of tension from the washing room comment earlier. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Demetri’s lip twitch upwards. “Vampires do need a bathroom, correct?” This earned me a soft chuckle, and a nod.

“Yes, Ellia. Although vampires may not need a toilet, they do in fact need a shower. And everything that goes alongside with that.” Smiling at him, his words reminded me of his unexpected visit and stay with myself. 

“Oh my God, I didn't even think about it. Will you need extra clothes? Or hygiene products? We can go shopping, if you need to?” There was no way of finding him anything here that would fit his statue, or any kind of scent that wasn't floral in the bathroom. My mother and myself tended to opt for the more feminien considered products, and although I was not one to judge, I could not picture Demetri showering with a rose scented shampoo. 

“I don't think I’ve ever stepped foot into a grocer’s before.” This time, I don't think I could have stopped the laugh that came from my mouth if I wanted to. 

“A grocer? Oh my God, Demetri, we call it a grocery store here in America.” My body was leaned up against the doorframe of the bathroom, one of my hands coming up to cover my mouth as I laughed. 

“Grocer, grocery store. It is all the same thing, isn't it? Nevertheless, I do not believe myself to have ever stepped foot in one before.”

“Well, consider tonight to be one of your many more human adventures then.” Pushing my body away from the door without my hands, I crossed them across my body while making my way down to the main level once more. That's where my keys would be, and my wallet--

“Tonight? It is still Christmas, Ellia. Although I may not be well versed in all things human, I am at least conscious of the fact that most stores will not be open until tomorrow at the earliest.” Tone joking once more, the blush that rose to my cheeks was involuntary. 

“Oh my God. I keep forgetting. How does someone keep forgetting that it's one of the most important days of the year?” I exhaled at my own foolishness, deciding to make myself home in the living area once more, right in front of the tree with my presents for later. Whenever later would be that was. 

“You neglect to treasure it.” His words were not wrong by any matter, but my brain had no space to think about them so deeply. I hummed back at him. 

“Well, if I neglect to treasure it so much, how about you help me with that? My mother sent me some gifts that need some unwrapping, and I don't think I would have the nerve to do it myself. It may be nice to have someone else to at least sit there with me, as long as the presents are too embarrassing.”

“I have a present for you, as well.” His words made my footsteps falter, but sitting down on the couch where my small nap was just a few hours earlier had seemed to help the anxiety I felt starting to pool in my lower stomach.

“O-Oh? A present? Demetri, I-you-your really didn't have to--” My mumbling, stuttering voice gave away to my thoughts. 

“I understand that you will not have one for me. This is more than okay. It took a lot of...effort...to think of what to get you, and you have opened up considerably to me about your passions and muses. I had neglected to allow you the same comfort in my own presence. I expect nothing in return from you.” His words were firm, demanding that I not press him any further. But when was I one to quit a conversation when demanded?

“A-are you sure? Seriously, you really don't have to.” My eyes cast downwards, analyzing his outfit once more. Everything, dark, some mud stains clear on the bottom hem of his pants. Opposite of the house we were standing in. Opposite of everything I had been taught to cherish. 

“Ellia, I’m already here with the gift in hand. Please just allow me this one generous offer. Consider it my formal apology, in monetary fashion.” He responded. 

I nodded. “Okay, fine. But I owe you now.”

He laughed, one of his legs coming to cross against the other. I noticed his eyes darting to the presents in the corner of the room , the lights on the trees off. At least there was something I could do about that.

As if he already knew what I was thinking, Demetri was up and over to the tree, turning it on before returning to meet me on the couch with the pile from underneath it. Saying a polite thank you, I set the presents out in front of me, making a mental reminder to call my mother soon to let her be aware of my thanks.  _ And try not to get in another argument about why she wasn't home.  _ Although, having Demetri here made the open space in my heart just the tiniest bit smaller. 

My mind wandered to the presents in front of my figure. 

_ What have I even asked my mother for this year? Thinking about it, I couldn't even remember. My brain was too focused on what Demetri could have bought me. It had to be small enough to be in one of his pockets. What had I ever mentioned to him? Something that small? There was nothing that was on the top of my head...I would certainly have to repay him in some method. Maybe I could pay for his hygiene products and clothes when we went shopping? Yeah...that would have to do. All of his currency would still be foreign, there would be no way for him to avoid it. It may not be meaningful, but at the very least it was helpful _

My hands opened presents without consulting the mind first, gently tearing the triangle taped corners and pulling away the silver ribbons on the smaller boxes. There were five boxes she had gifted me, all varying in size, but nothing larger than what I would consider a clothing box to be from any generic department store. Small boxes normally meant expensive. That made my heart race more. 

Trying to remind myself to think, and without taking too much time for my emotions would not be able to take control, I unwrapped and analyzed everything. Earrings, those were per usual. Expensive, and beautiful. Too formal for most occasions. The clothes, of course. A few pairs of nice jeans, all varying in style and shape. All beautiful, once more. I was grateful for the fact that at least my mom was aware of the clothes I enjoyed and those that would stay hung up in my closest forever. Next, a box that had its fair share of makeup in it, all products that at some point, would gain my use. She definitely had to go through my makeup contents before I had left for school to see what things I would desire. Seeing a single box with multiple products in it was not new for my mom, as she appreciated the speed at which it would accelerate opening gifts. Following the makeup was two books wrapped nearly together. Hardcover copies of  _ Catcher in the Rye  _ and  _ Jane Eyre.  _ Both stunningly beautiful, same as everything else, and at least simple in the cost. In between gifts I hummed, telling Demetri little anecdotes about why she may have chosen what she did. I still had yet to tell him why she was here, but that could be shared for a late night conversation.

The last present I had opened was another box that reminded me of the one I had opened with my earrings in it. Although slightly larger in size, it had the same color and brand name printed on type. I gulped. Another piece of expensive jewelry? The thought of her spending so much to try and accompany me on this day made me feel slightly nauseous. Nevertheless, I gently tugged the lid off, revealing a flower shaped charm on the end of its silver chain. The diamond in the middle was small, comforting me to the smallest degree. It shone in the Christmas lit room we sat in.  _ My mother and her fascination with flowers. At least now I’ll have a piece of her where I go, even if she wasn't here to give it to me.  _

Picking it up, I handed it wordlessly to Demetri.

He took the hint, and wrapped the necklace around my neck, his freezing fingers never once touching my skin. I missed the exhilaration that they brought, but tried to understand. There were no more testing limits today.

Turning back towards him, he took a glance at it as well, and smiled back up at me. Peaking through the edge of his lips were his razor sharp canine teeth.  _ Reminders, everywhere I go. Reminders of my weakness in his presence.  _ My fingers and own eyes trailed down to where the necklace sat, right beneath my going away gift from Eden. The length was perfect enough to let the two be present on their own, not getting tangled up within each other. 

“That’s all of them then, correct?” Demetri begged the question. 

“Yes, yes it is.” The anxiety returned. Without my mother’s gifts to hide me, I would be open to receiving whatever it was he had for me. A small section of my mind played with the idea that his gift for me was simply existing, for filling a void I was not even aware was open. 

Demetri pulled out a small box from his pants, a box that I didn't even realize was there before. Without saying any words, he handed it to me, watching my every movement with it. It was light, and took on a circle shape, unusual from the ones I had normally received in the past. The box was a shade so deep in gray it nearly appeared black, with gold outlining the shape and wrapping up the metal portions of it. Holding my breath, and deciding to just go for it, attempting to ignore the pile of anxiety still sitting in the bottom of my frame, I clicked back the lid.

My breath caught in my throat, eyes opening.

_ A ring? Did this mean-- _

“Do you like it?” For once, his voice was void of confidence and cokiness. Was that a longing for acceptance beneath the surface? The same kind of insecurity any one else would feel when watching another unravel their gift? 

“Oh my God, Demetri, I don't even know what to say. It’s-it-’s perfect. Unlike anything else I could ever imagine.” Being as careful as I could, as if it would break in my very touch, I pulled the shining diamond out of its box. The box sat in front of me, and Demetri pulled it off to the side with lightning speed that dareed give me whiplash. 

Reaching out, he grabbed my hand, nearly paralyzing me from the touch. He grabbed the ring itself too, and I was struck by how similar it was to the necklace and my own matching earrings. Now I had a ring to match it as well.  _ That would be hard to explain to my friends back at home.  _

Without words, his seeming favorite action in the present moment, he slipped it onto my middle finger on my left hand.  _ Oh thank God. I knew he had stalker-like behaviors, but if he was trying to propose to me within nearly no time of knowing each other, that would have to be a hard line.  _

“I’m glad you enjoy it. It took a lot of effort, and a few of my friends helped, but when I saw that one, I knew it was the one. My apologies, if a ring is too formal. But I knew I had to get you jewelry, and it seemed to be the least likely to break.” His hands lingered on my own, his thumb brushing the tops of my knuckles. 

“Demetri, do not apologize for anything. It is stunning and I will adore it forever.” I reached my right hand to place on top of his own, trapping it with the warmth of my being. 

He smiled at me then, no longer gentle or small. A full smile, showing off his pointy teeth and rosy lips. A contented smile. It was impossible for it to stop warming my heart, to finally watch as he opened up in front of me. Words fell flat. So once more, just for the sake of the moment, my body leaned over to meet lips with lips. To kiss the perfect grin that was in front of me. My hands on his cheekbones, cupping his face fully. Some of my own hair strands falling onto the side of us, encasing the both of us in our own little space. Our own home. 

After a few breaths, and one of his hands in my hair, I forced myself to pull away. 

“Thank you.” I whispered, knowing not what else to utter. My cheeks felt as rosy as his own lips. 

We only fell quiet for a few minutes before he spoke. 

“What do you normally do at this time then, dusk but not late enough to sleep?” Checking the time of my phone, I noted that the time had already passed to 5:30.  _ Had I really spent so long opening presents and chatting with Demetri? It felt like mere minutes.  _

Shrugging my shoulders, I answered. “Most of the time I’m in my room, in some regard. Watching a movie or reading, sitting on my phone until I’m tired enough to pass out. Nothing too exciting.” Human life must be considered so boring when you have an additional eight hours a day to partake in the  _ arts,  _ as Demetri had called it. 

“And what you care for tonight, then, my love?”  _ My love.  _ Of course he had to pull it out, to remind me of how I felt like putty in his fingertips. Our bodies were far enough away from each other now to not reach in for another kiss with ease. If we had been, then I would have been more than happy staying in such a position all night long. 

“A movie? Maybe a nice Christmas one. Especially if you haven't been exposed to all the wonderful ones we have here in the states.” Attempting to keep my mind out of the gutter ( _ and maybe failing poorly at so),  _ I offered up another option for us. 

“I like that concept. Where will we watch?” Demetri seemed to agree with everything I wanted to do. I wondered if I would ever hear him give his own opinion on one of our trivial matters. 

“The TV in my bedroom isn't too shabby, if that is okay with you?” Immediately after asking it, I was aware of how it could be taken out of context. “I mean-not in that way. I’m not trying to-I just think a movie would be nice.”

“No, I understand, and no, I did not take it that way. Lead the way then, Ellia?” Blushing at the sound of my own name, and leaving the Christmas gifts in the living room for a later me, I led Demetri up the stairs to my own room, to the night that would be filled with God knew what. 

And so came the part of the evening that I had been dreading all day long since he had arrived, something that had lingered beneath our conversations and slight laughter, the tension and the kisses. Now that we were venturing to my own bedroom, would I have to ask him to leave at the very end of the film? The end of the conversations? Would I even have the strength to do such a thing? To stop myself from one of the largest things that had been playing on my mind on repeat? 

Would I have to stop the part I dreaded the most- _ or did I really- _ The sleeping arrangements?


	18. Chapter Seveteen

Winter 2015 (January). 

Rochester, New York. 

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart!” Ellias’s mom’s voice rang clearly through the phone. Ellia’s finger hit the volume down button until she was at a noise that wasn't loud enough to blow her eardrums out. Demetri listened carefully from the living room, as the human walked around from the foyer to the kitchen, and back again, never ceasing movement. 

“Well, you're a day late mom, but sure, Merry Christmas to you too. How’s work been? And the dog?”  _ The dog,  _ Demetri thought to himself. The human had mentioned it, maybe briefly in passing here or there, and to explain some miscellaneous hairy pillows and blankets. He was glad that he managed to come at a time where the dog was not present. Although the dog was not his personal choice of food, he had to feed on more  _ non-traditional  _ options on some very rare occasions. He tended to go out with Felix every night, but they had to be careful of their surroundings and the amount that they were hunting. It should also be noted that he was glad of the secluded nature of the human’s home. 

There was a sigh on the other end of the line. Demetri could hear her mother fumbling with the phone, probably changing hands.”It’s been...nauseating, to say the very least.” He could hear her, decently well to say the very least. “Not the dog, of course. She’s been a very small part of sunlight in my days. But everything has just been so long. Every day, it feels like, without a break. Even on Christmas, meetings upon phone calls upon more meetings. I’m sorry it took me so long to call you, did you like your presents?” The mother’s voice seemed upset and tired, amongst other things. Overworked, more than likely. 

“Yes, Mom, of course, I did. Especially the necklace and the earrings. It’ll be like having a piece of you wherever I go now. Flowers all the way back in Italy.”  _ Italy.  _ Soon enough, it would be their home together. In the castle together. It was hard to imagine her beauty, her lightness in such a dim lighted place, having to hide behind cloaks and in the shadows. Part of him wished he could hide her away from it for just a little bit longer. How silly that sounded to him now, how it reminded him of the blatant disregard that Edward had had for their vampire existence when he was entangled with Isabella. 

“I’m glad you did. I saw those and just knew you would love them. How have you been, how much longer are you home for?”  _ Lie through your teeth,  _ Demetri thought to himself. His eyes landed on the Christmas tree that sat in front of his vision, eyes training in on each light bulb that decorated it as he hoped the human could keep it together. They had intended to take it down soon enough, but the human seemed to be clinging to the idea of the holiday season. 

“Everything has been…” She held her breath, no doubt weighing her word choice in her own head. “Good,” A sigh, maybe of relief? “I’ve talked to Eden a few times, and that was nice. Just feels weird, I guess, being here during this time without you.”

“I know, sweetheart. And I hate to bring more bad news, but, I don’t think I’ll be home anytime soon. Work here just keeps picking up and feels like it’s never-ending. I wish I was able to see you in person, and I’m sorry again. I really can't say that enough,” She paused as if considering her words heavily. She probably was, considering the scenario. “I feel like such a shitty mom.”

“It’s alright, mom, I understand,” Ellia herself fumbled with the phone, Demetri could hear the sounds on the mother’s end changing ever so slightly. What was it with humans and refusing to ever stay still? Demetri didn't think he had moved since he sat down here on the couch, other than his eyes bouncing around and counting everything he could see. Lightbulbs, particles of dust, threads in the carpet beneath his feet--“But, I think I’m gonna head back to Italy sooner than expected, considering it’s just me here. It’s been getting a little lonely,” She tossed him a smile with a glance through the side of her eyes, right while she came around the corner to face him. He gave one back. “Aurora offered to let me stay at her home until school is back in session, and I mean why not, you know? It’ll allow me to see the Italy that isn’t just filled with tourists, and away from school, at least, somewhat.” She made her way over towards him, and Demetri could sense that she really just wanted to be around someone else for the time being. 

“I love that idea, sweetheart,” There was more rustling on the side of her phone, Demetri could hear her mother talking to someone else on her receiving end. Then, a sigh. “I’m sorry, can we talk about this later? I’m okay with it all, and I trust Aurora, I just,” Another sigh. “Have to get back to work. I’m sorry.” Ellia’s face fell flat. No longer a smile, not quite a frown. 

“I’ll talk to you later then?” Ellia was sitting next to him now, her head leaning onto his shoulder. After spending the last night in the same room, laying next to each other on the same bed, she seemed to never want to stop touching him. Casual hand brushes while they brushed their teeth together, leaning her head on top of his shoulder following her eating breakfast, other little movements that showcased how much she desired physical contact, despite his freezing skin. 

“Yes, of course. I love you, sweetheart.” Demetri had forgotten about her mother on the opposite end of the line; he was too busy counting each and every hair on her head. 

“Love you too, mom.” By the time Ellia had pushed the phone from her hand, her mother had already hung up. At the same time, she raised her head to look at the vampire. She pursed her lips to the side, looking down at the phone in one parting glance. Disappointed to say the least. Demetri attempted to understand her emotions, sympathizing at the very least.

“Are you okay?” He cocked his head to the side.

“Yeah...I’m okay. Nothing I’m not used to at least,” her eyes looked up and she gave the tracker the smallest bit of a smile. “Why are you all dressed up? Are we out of your fancy hair products? And, how the fuck did you get ready so quickly? I swear all I took was ten minutes.” Demetri smiled back at her, his teeth peeking through. Her mother had called in the middle of them getting ready for the day. He had opted to stay and finish showering, while she tidied up breakfast and planned to call her mother back soon after. Demetri had gotten ready fast enough to still hear the entirety of their conversation. 

“No, I am running perfectly fine on my  _ deluxe _ shampoo and conditioner,  _ thank you very much _ .” In the middle of last night, when Ellia couldn’t quite fall asleep yet, they had managed to find a grocery store that was open all night long. Demetri had insisted on the products he had gotten, claiming that they still were not good enough from what he had in Italy. “And please, I request that you get used to me moving so quickly, considering the fact that it is much more effective than taking an hour to shower. Though I may not be going out shopping, I am going to go hunting.” The human laughed at all the right times, shaking her head passively at him until he mentioned the last portion. 

“Hunting? You mean…” Her voice trailed off. 

“Yes.” He nodded at her. 

“Oh.” Silence. 

“I apologize for my brashness, but it is something I must do, considering the amount of time I will be spending just with you. Once more, I hate to be brash, but, being with you,” He stopped, a more wicked smile tugging at his lips. The monster inside him showing. “It’s rather...harsh, for my tastebuds,” He watched the smallest amount of fear playing around in the female’s head. “And I must meet up with Felix.” He added with an afterthought. 

“Felix is here with you?” Now she was the one cocking her head to the side, big eyes looking towards him. The fear had quickly dissipated amongst her, he felt. 

“Near enough, yes. He is staying at a local hotel, just for each other’s safety. He can be here in a heartbeat if needed.” 

“Is it odd to ask if I can meet him?” The vampire was taken aback. He did not expect her to so willingly jump at the idea of meeting another of his kind, although, she did already meet Felix in passing, that fateful night. The night that made his nonexistent blood boil in his body every time he thought of it.  _ Oh, how he wished he could go back, be the one to rip that vile reject of human’s head off their body, suck them dry of their blood, waiting until their screams quickly turned into whimpers, into nothing more than a mere whisper-- _ “Demetri, I asked a question.”

“Yes, that’s fine.” His answer was simple. Ellia let out a small screech, full of surprise, and leaned forward to press a kiss to Demetri’s cheek before rushing upstairs. She clearly held no regret about it, never had any idea of how close he was to snapping her neck off at any moment.

By the time Demetri had imagined draining her of blood for the twelfth time in the last hour, Ellia was back downstairs, now clad in more winter-appropriate gear, the hint of a smile still on her face. 

* * *

“So you are the human.” The brute said the first time he looked at the girl. If she was used to having to look high up towards Demetri, she was in an unrelenting neck ache with Felix. He was a few inches taller than his tracker companion, much thicker through his shoulders and chest. Massive, to say the very least. And of course, there was that undying attractiveness that any vampire had the ability to possess. 

“What is it with you guys calling humans ‘humans’?” Ellia retorted, trying to keep things playful with the two men. Although she felt safe with both of them, more than safe, truly, there was still that underlying fear of impending death. Demetri had said it was going to happen at some point, what if this was the moment? 

“You know, your emotions are nearly exhausting,” Felix replied to the female, ignoring her initial question. “Drowning, in a sense.” The three of them had decided to gather out on the back porch of the human’s house, the warmth inside so nearly touchable, yet so far away. Although, the bronze haired girl was the only one to notice as such, her hands, already clad in gloves, tucked firmly into her large winter jacket. Living in such a place as Rochester, the snow nearly never let up around this time of year. Jackets upon gloves upon hats upon snow boots were always plentiful, but that never made the cold less daunting. The wind whipped around the three of them, only catching on the human’s nose, turning it a bright shade of pink. She began to sniffle ever so slightly, reaching up her elbow to wipe some of them away. 

“Huh? You can sense my emotions? Is that another vampire thing?”  _ Another thing I will have to keep track of, really,  _ was what was running around her head, however, she would never admit those words out loud. Learning about Demetri and his fellow friends seemed like another college course added onto her plate, new facts being found out every day, at every hour. Nevertheless, she cocked her beanie topped head to the side, just the smallest amount, eyes narrowing on the vampire in front of her. Ellia stood closer to Demetri, her left arm nearly touching his right. They both faced Felix, his physical power seeming to match both of theirs combining. 

“It wouldn't be too hard to guess, if I had to,” He tilted his head back at her, red eyes beating directly into hers. “Fear, anxiety, the smallest amount of excitement, maybe.” He hummed the words, his eyes following her up and down. At this, she shrunk, maybe a half step, towards Demetri. The overwhelming feeling of serenity that Demetri gave was not present with Felix. His eyes were terrifying, like all the stories she had read about back in Italy when she first discovered the two of them. She craved to feel the smaller vampire's hand against her back, his hand lingering on any portion of her body just to settle her down. 

“It’s not a vampire thing,” Demetri added after the brute had finished. Instinctively, after feeling the human edge herself closer to him, he reached to wrap an arm around her back. “Your emotions are just much more clear than your other non-vampire counterparts. We don’t know what it means. Aro may when you visit him.” He tapped his fingers against the back of her jacket, playing gently with a hanging string he found. The coat had obviously been worn heavily through the years. 

“Aro, right,” She took a breath, it blowing out in front of her in clouds. She hardly realized that the same clouds did not appear in front of the two men’s mouths. “Your, Master...right?” Ellia seemed sure enough of herself, this fact sticking out in her brain. The vampire she would have to face, with a mysterious name and even more mysterious background. She could not imagine how intense he could have to be to rule over all of the vampires in existence.

“That would be correct.” Demetri nodded once, curtly, in a way that seemed almost forced.

“Maybe humans aren’t as dumb as they appear.” Felix looked smug in his expression, although his face never really faltered away from that look. Almost as if he was constantly aware of how much power he had over everyone near him, in a physical sense of the matter. 

“Please do not talk about my la tua cantante in that way.”  _ La tua cantante? _ The woman wondered quietly to herself, making a mental note to look up those words later. They sounded Italian, like something Aurora would tell her in order to boost her self-esteem or feelings. Oh, how she missed her roommate and other friends back at school. How impossible it was to have proper conversations with them here, with the time differences and just how busy she had found herself. Felix’s words interrupted her internal monologue. 

“It’s time to go, anyways, brother. We need to make sure you get back before it’s too dark.” His arms never left the side of his body, sticking straight downwards. In fact, his position did not fidget at all. He was like a statue, never breathing, no blinking, only his eyes moving from his counterpart to the human and back again. The human was slightly disappointed, feeling as though she had yet to have a proper introduction with the brute. 

“How long will it take for you guys to...hunt?” Ellia moved her hands from her pockets to cross them across her body, trying to keep as much warmth in towards her body. The blanket she knew that would be draped across the cushions in the living room was tempting her, daring her to go back in for a nap even though she had hardly spent any time awake. Who could deny a nap, really? 

“Well, in order to make sure we have enough time to hide any evidence of us being here, and counting in for travel time, and having to deal with just how...hungry  _ he  _ appears,” His words drawled on, his Italian accent incredibly interesting to listen to. He sounded so similar to Demetri, and yet so different. Ellia could almost sense the hint of their backgrounds peeking through each tongue. 

The smaller vampire cut in. “I’ll be back before you go to bed, don’t worry, Ellia.” He shot daggers at the taller, smirk-filled face man. Although Demetri stepped away from Ellia, his hand took extra long to leave her body. The coldness it brought was unwelcoming, even more so than the coldness that plagued the tracker in the first place. 

“I’ll see you when you get back then,” She smiled towards Demetri, then let her eyes pass over to Felix. Through the conversation that the three of them had shared, both of their eyes had grown darker. Not by many shades, maybe not noticeable to someone who quickly glanced, but the human had already memorized Demetri’s color--bright like blood--so deeply in her memory that the difference was as clear as day. “Please try to not bring any stains into the house when you come back, either.” Her teeth peeked through her smile this time, eyes crinkling up. 

The two vampires shared a look as the woman walked back through her kitchen door, not bothering to lock it behind her. 

* * *

_ A brief few weeks later.  _

The time with the human passed quicker than he had anticipated. Most days they stayed in the house, watching various films and Ellia trying to teach him small mundane tasks. One of the days, she even left Demetri alone in the house while she went to visit her friend, Eden. 

That day in particular he found to be the most boring, not having someone else around him to entertain him. Being undead and in the castle most days, he had found himself frequently alone. There was always someone to talk to, in a way, but if the twins or Felix were busy, which was more true for the twins than his brute counterpart, he found himself alone. Over the past several years it felt like he had exhausted the supply of books in the castle, and after so long, there were only so many instruments one could learn to play. And games of chess by oneself were less than amusing. So, he had learned to be comfortable in frequent and unending silence, in moments where he had nothing to himself but his thoughts. 

But now, after being with the human for an extended period of time, there was never silence, ever. Even by the way she moved, things moved with her. The sudden creak of a floorboard, the soft breaths that were elicited from her mouth when she came up and down the stairs, just the very sound of a heartbeat was enough for him to always be alert of her presence. Not that it was a bad thing, by any means. It was pleasant, almost, to always be conscious of where she was if she was not by his side. 

That day that she was gone, he decided to do some reading. The human and her mother had a fair share of books stored around the house, in both Ellia’s own room and the office that sometimes they would sit in together, when Ellia wished to sit in the big comfy chair, adequately which she titled her “napping” chair. 

Most of the time, when it was just the two of them, Demetri did not need anything to occupy his time. He could talk with Ellia for hours at a time, and when they were not talking, he was simply watching. His bright red eyes, fading throughout the day, nearly always on her. His thoughts constantly consumed by her. The method in which her face would heat up when she could catch his eyes, her own darting away quickly. But his eyes never did. He admired the way that she would become unfocused on the smallest of tasks, taking breaks upon breaks before they were ever accomplished. The way that her eyes would blur out, in a way, focusing on some tiny fragment on the wall instead of the tv, or her phone, or anything else that was placed in front of her.

Oh, how he wished he was Edward and could know what she was thinking.

But her emotions were plenty strong, that he was still more than aware of. Even more obvious than all the times he had watched her from the rooftops, it was impossible to not know what she was feeling. Her thoughts couldn't be much farther away than her feelings, but still, he wished he could know more, no, know everything. 

He always thought humans were bland, how lackluster in their abilities. How terrified they would be when his bleeding red eyes landed on theirs when they thought they had to fight for their very last moments of breathing life. But Ellia had changed that. Although he had seen the face of fear through her emotions and face a few times, namely when he allowed for his hunger to get the best of him, she was incredibly strong. She didn't seem to mind being close to him, in fact, she sought it out willingly. How they had formed a bond so tightly wound, he did not understand. It was completely out of his control, rather to the God or Gods that took the credit for such beauty. 

Thinking about it, the bond that they had grown together throughout the last few weeks was much stronger than anything he had within the guard. He had always considered them his family, and the reason he was lucky to still be existing until this day. His purpose was found in hunting the same of his kind that was not as worthy. But Ellia had changed that, as well. He found purpose in caring for her, protecting her, simply sitting next to her while she slept or watched television. He found purpose in the way her eyes light up when he would finally break and tell her a joke, and read her to sleep at night. No longer was he as interested in hunting for days at a time, no, that seemed much too far away from the human than he could ever enjoy. No longer being around Chelsea and her mind-bending powers, his ties to the Guard wavered, ever so slightly. 

These were thoughts he should not have been having, however, so he pushed them far away to the back corner of his mind, where not even Aro would be able to reach them. 

* * *

On the day prior to the two mates leaving, Ellia finally decided to crack the question that had been burning in the back of her head since she heard Demetri mention it when she finally met Felix.

She wanted to hold it in until she felt prepared enough until they had grown closer as two. Over the last few weeks, they most certainly had. Considering how comfortable she felt leaving Demetri here while she hung out with Eden, which was more than fun, it was no doubt that she trusted the vampire. 

It was an odd kind of trust, really. If she was ever in danger of her life, she knew that Demetri would be by her side in an instant, the threat obliterated. However, she was not so sure that it wouldn't be Demetri at the other end one day, causing her to be in danger. She saw the way in which his eyes were darker by the time they had finished late night makeout sessions (which, she would never tell the tracker, but she dreamed about surely every time afterward), or early morning wake-up kisses. How he had to limit himself when he had yet to hunt or was getting closer to needing it. She wondered how frequently he would need to do so if he was not here with her--surely once a day seemed excessive to her. 

But nevertheless, on the day before they left, while the snow felt so gently outside, she got the courage to ask him. It was not anywhere near late at night, but the tracker had insisted that she go to bed early, just this once prior to flying to Italy. They were both sitting in her room, Ellia on the floor while Demetri sat in her desk chair. She was playing with the carpet beneath her fingers, pretending to focus on some reading for her spring courses and trying to not think about the fact that she had to finish packing. Demetri was doing the same, however, his book of choice was simply something the girl had left on her bookshelf. He didn't bother to look at the title first, just start digging through it. His eyes couldn't help but flutter to the girl every few seconds, however. 

“Demetri?” She asked him in a quiet voice.

“Hm?” He hummed back at her, making uninhibited eye contact with the woman. 

“I have a question for you if you don't mind.” At this, he closed his book, a mental note already made of the page that he was on. He placed it on the desk, taking his now empty hands and placing them on his face. His elbows landed squarely on his knees as he leaned forward towards the human, giving her his full attention now. It was his way of letting her know she could ask whenever she was ready for it. 

“You remember when I met Felix, right? The day after Christmas?” He nodded once to let her know he did. “When he was here, he said this phrase, about us, and I couldn’t really find anything about it online--besides a butchered translation.” Ellia was unclear how much to say, should she outrightly ask it? Would that seem more or less threatening to the vampire that was sitting above her?

“La tua cantante, correct? I was wondering when you were going to ask me about it. I am surprised it took you so long.” His fingers drummed against his temple, back and forth again a few times. He was giving her a moment to speak again. 

“I know, I know,” She huffed out a breath of air, letting it linger in the air for a moment before taking it in to speak again. “I wanted to wait to make sure that when I asked you weren't going to rip my head off first, ya know?” Her eyes never stopped making contact with his own. After these weeks the red that stared back at her was less and less frightening, less and less shocking. 

“You know I would never,” Ellia had intended to simply poke fun at the tracker, but the way in which his eyes bore into hers told her that she should just stay quiet this once and allow him to explain. “La tua cantante is a phrase in my world, one incredibly rare and special. It is reserved only for relationships between a human and a vampire, one in which the blood of you appeals to me in such a strong way that it is impossible to resist. Truly, we have little knowledge on the subject. There have been so few cases, only one of any kind of importance. But you will learn about it more soon enough, I am sure my Master Marcus would be more than willing to teach you about such concepts.” 

The tracker was incredibly calm while talking about the subject, and the human had yet to understand such a thing. She knew they were meant to be together, Demetri had made that abundantly clear, but soulmates? She had such little beliefs in her human world, to throw in another about beings she did not even fully understand was too much for her at the moment. 

“Any more questions from that head of yours that won’t stop spinning?” Demetri spoke for her.

“For once I think I’ve asked enough.” Simple words for a brain that truly,  _ would not stop spinning.  _

The next hour or so was spent in a pleasant silence between the two, the girl tidying up her room and grabbing what else she believed she would need for the trip. She tried to imagine what kind out outfits would be the most proper when one was meeting the leader of the vampire world, but she truly had no idea what kind of attire that required. I mean, based on Demetri’s sense of fashion, it seemed like the 1800s chic was the way to go.  _ If only she had a corset and a cape… _ After a while, the woman seemed to stir, breaking the quietness. 

“Okay, that’s the last thing, I swear. The only thing I’ll have to grab tomorrow is a few hygiene items and my phone and charger.” Ellia huffed as she zipped up her luggage, it was the same cotton candy blue one she brought home with her from Italy. It was small enough to not have to worry about lugging it around everywhere, but also large enough to fit all of what she could need for a few weeks back at home. 

The vampire stood up. He had gone back to reading shortly after their discussion had ended. “Into bed with you now then, little one. I will clean up downstairs for you so we can leave with ease in several hours.” One of the best parts about having the vampire here with her was his lack of sleep. He would always be around to wake her up if she needed to, and she could not snooze him like an alarm clock

“Okay, okay. You don’t have to treat me like I am a child, you know?” Ellia raised her eyebrows at Demetri, a smile still on her lips despite her tone. 

“Yes, yes I am more than aware of that fact. You know you’ve made that mention more than a few times.” The vampire didn't bother to shoot anything back when he heard the human mumble under her breathe a few words, something along the lines of,  _ “Well maybe you should stop it then.”  _

The tracker grabbed the woman’s luggage, pulling it to the doorframe while she got into bed. She had been in comfortable clothes for a while now, never really bothering to dress up around the male. It appeared she was more exhausted than she had initially let on. She spoke little of what she knew was coming in the following days, of the harsh conversations she would have to share with the elder vampires. How their red eyes would stare into hers, begging for her to come to their side. There was still so much time, still so many things she had wanted to accomplish.

“Is everything okay now?” The human had made quick action of getting in bed, and already he sensed how exhausted she was. He took her silence as an answer and went to grab her luggage to bring it downstairs with him. 

“Hey Demetri,” The words tumbled out of her mouth, barely above a whisper. Nothing he could miss anyways. “Can you do me a favor?” After a moment she added, “Just tonight.” The vampire turned back towards her, raising an eyebrow, a smile still on his lips. He couldn't help it, just being in her presence was enough to melt his cold exterior. 

“Of course, my love. What is it you need?” He replied. 

“I was just thinking about earlier, remember that conversation we had with each other?” 

Demetri did in fact recall the words they had shared, while she was busy plucking through page after page for her international relations course. He was asking her questions about the book, what she thought about it, and even gave her a few notes where she had thought it was factually incorrect. He was never too prideful about all of his knowledge, but it never failed to peek through most talks they had. She had made mention of how she liked the books she had to read for her studies, they were interesting to a certain degree, but how she wished she read more outside of school. How when she was younger she would lock herself away in her room and read for several hours at a time, only stopping to get a small snack here and there, and how long it had been since she had found a book that had piqued her interest in such a way. 

Demetri replied fairly quickly, the scene playing out in seconds in his brain. “Yes, of course, I remember.” 

“Well, I was thinking, maybe it would be easier to read if someone read to me?” She pulled the blanket up past her chin, right beneath her mouth. Her eyes were large, staring up towards the vampire.

“You want me...to read to you?” His words were slow as he took his hands in front of his body, crossing wrist over wrist. To outsiders, he may have appeared nervous, almost. But Demetri was nearly never nervous. Although, with the human, that feeling may have appeared more often than he could ever admit to anyone else. 

“If it’s not too much to ask, you don't have to.” Even in the dim lighting, Demetri could see the blush, no,  _ the blood _ , rising to her cheeks. She kept shifting the blanket, it was clear that she could not be comfortable enough to pass out. It was possible that she was nervous as well. 

“As long as it doesn't make you stay up later than we need. You’ll have to have a fair amount of energy for tomorrow,” She nodded up at him, shifting in the blanket so she was curled up in a little ball. He took this as her promise that she would still attempt to rest. “What do you want me to read?” His eyesight turned towards her bookcase, guessing that was where the book would reside. 

“The Song of Achilles. Black book with a huge gold chest plate on the front. It should be on the bottom shelf of my bookcase.” One of her hands left her blanket to point exactly where his eyes already were. In a moment's time, he had crossed the room, located the novel, and had already flipped it open to the front page. He thought for a moment, then asked Ellia anyways.

“Starting at the beginning?” He took steps back towards her, going to pull her vanity chair towards the bed so he could sit in front of her to read. Instead, she patted the bed in front of her, eyes still staring up towards the tracker. 

“Yes, please.” Another nod, her eyes watching as he walked to his new reading spot.

_ “‘My father was a king and the son of kings…”  _ Demetri began, himself sitting upright on Ellia’s bed, her body facing away from him, already too comfortable in her original position. Her eyes fluttered closed, her head tucking deeper into her chest if that was even possible. Her breath quieter than normal, his traditional way of knowing when she was fully gone from the world. 

By the time he was done with the first page, Ellia was fast asleep, her snores only present to the vampire who could never stop watching her. 


	19. Chapter Eighteen

Early Winter 2015. 

Volterra, Italy.

because all the bad scenes are the bones of the wonderful scenes. ( via aletheiawriting tumblr)

The plane ride to Volterra was uneventful at the very least. Those were the only thoughts racing through the human’s head as she stepped off of the flying vehicle, finally back into the European nation that she called home less than two months ago. How uneventful everything felt, leading up to the biggest judgment day of her life. The bitter cold, although not chilly enough to match the two vampire’s skin, was enough to force herself to wrap arms around her body, sticking her hands firmly into her underarms. She rolled her head back and forth, waiting for the cracking sound as Felix went to grab her luggage. Uneventful. That word rang in her head, unable to disappear from its track. How could any of this be uneventful? It felt as though she needed to pay more attention to the moments transpiring, what if this was the last time she stepped onto an airplane? What if the last time she had seen her mother was back in August? Perhaps she should try and remember  _ everything _ , every tiny detail from the color of the airplanes seats to the texture of the road beneath her boots. 

Forcing herself into the real world once again, she reminded herself that she would actually have to live outside of her head to do such a thing. Her luggage, right, that was where she currently was. It was small anyways, just a few things that she had brought to New York in the first place, alongside some extra books,  _ Song of Achilles  _ being one of the few. Demetri had promised that they could go shopping downtown if necessary during her stay. She just hoped she could manage it that long.  _ What if’s  _ were the only thing filling her brain, polluting them to the point of constant dissociation. Dissociation had ruled her life, ever since meeting the infamous vampire. She really needed to go see a therapist about all of this. She wondered if vampires even had therapists to spill their dirty secrets to. 

But that was a problem for another time. At least she liked to convince herself of that fact. 

Although she tried to hide her feelings, the tracker and brute were more than well aware of what she was feeling. Her anxiety rippled off in waves, the strongest emotion that either had sensed from her in the entirety of knowing her. And that was saying more than enough. I mean, why wouldn’t she be anxious? As much as she liked to believe that she had gotten used to waking up next to a vampire for the last few weeks, this could hardly compare. This was not sleeping next to a single vampire, one that she had learned to trust (if one could even call it that. The trust that formed between the two of them was unable to stop; it had simply appeared as quickly as he had in her life.). This was attempting to sleep, knowing that every single person around her was thirsting for her blood, would bang down any door in the castle just to get a taste. It was knowing that your safety depended on Demetri, perhaps Felix if he really felt like it. She knew Demetri would never let anyone lay a hand on her, yet still, she wondered. What would happen if another rogue vampire got their hands on her?

Back to the moment, she reminded herself once more. Yes, the luggage. The god damn fucking luggage. Within moments, as fast and strong as the taller vampire was, her luggage was placed in front of her body. Ellia grabbed the handle firmly, attempting to will her hands to stop shaking. It was hardly noticeable, more like the twitching that occurs after one too many cups of coffee. Her thoughts were the loud one, screaming at her nonsensically. They were a parade of conflicting emotions: the desire to sprint, as far away as possible, begging the two companions not to kill her, the desire to learn more about this strange life that had suddenly forced her attention, as she still knew so little, and lastly, the desire to stay with Demetri, the odd partnership the two had grown together, forged between small kisses and subtle smiles.

She didn’t think it was possible to do anything but stay. The yearning that her body took towards Demetri was something she was unable to fight with. Even in the moments they were away from each other, all she wished was to be near him again. It was a feeling like nothing she had experienced before, only met with the shitty young adult novels she read in her spare time. 

The fucking luggage, she had to remind herself. Watching it was meant to keep her sane right now. The luggage was already gone from her eyesight now. In fact, it appeared she had been walking for a while without her brain even processing the whole ordeal. She had been pulling her luggage behind her this entire time, apparently. Walking towards what appeared to be a dark-colored SUV with tinted windows so dark they would have been illegal back home. It reminded her of what the  _ Criminal Minds _ cast would have driven

Of course, it would not be nearly concealed enough for the Volturi to have a private landing field, but the plane and car ride there was more than sufficient enough to keep them in privacy. The landing strip was an hour away from the castle, Felix had let the girl know, while they stepped into its pristine leather seats. All she could manage was a nod. To be honest, the girl felt like royalty, although this was just another day for the other two. The two of them hardly shared words at this point--there was no need. The anxiety that came off of her forced the other two to have a pit in their nonexistent stomach. It twisted and turned, almost as if they were human once more. As the car approached the massive castle, Ellia’s anxiety only skyrocketed. Had an hour really passed all that quickly? Demetri placed a hand on her lap in a failed attempt to calm her. She smiled down at it, placing her left hand right on top of it, but that was all she could force. No words appeared from her mouth, either. 

Her anxiety rippled off of them, making the nearly emotionally distant brute feel that stupid fucking twinge in the deepest pit of where his stomach once was. Enough for him to request the driver to hurry up a little bit, get them up the cobblestone path just a little faster. Well, his words were not as kind as Ellia may have uttered, perhaps only in her drunken state would she swear as much…

There was a multitude of back entrances to Volturi's palace, the odd grouping of them taking the one that would lead them closest to where Aro and his brothers would be. These facts of course were all little tokens of knowledge the girl had gathered over the last several days of their packing and traveling. Demetri had requested to not have them meet in such a cruel area of their home, where too many deaths had occurred and would certainly continue to. Not that Demetri harbored any feelings about doing such things--in fact he loved his job and role in the vampire world. He just did not find it fit to bring his future lover into such an abrupt and deadly place. 

Of course, Aro did not agree. He thought that it would be best to accustom the female to everything, including the pain. One day she would have to inflict it, as well. He decided that they would meet in the throne room, as would be usual for anyone else. There were no bloodstains on the ground, Caius and Aro argued, and the human should feel at least half as comfortable there. Marcus felt indifferent on the matter, as was the standard. After hearing from their masters, there were no further questions. The human would be brought in front of the three of them, along with the core four and Chelsea. Demetri was unsure of what exactly Aro desired from the girl. Chelsea was told not to interject, simply to observe, and the masters had no intention of turning Ellia yet. Demetri told them to wait, and for once, they listened. Perhaps they were afraid of what could happen had they told him no. They were already well aware of what had happened with Edward and Isabella and wanted no repeats. 

Everyone in the castle knew that the girl was coming, in fact, they had been notified the moment that Aro had. They needed weeks to prepare, in order to have everyone be more than fed, no accidents being allowed to happen. The last thing they needed was another dejected Marcus, longing after something he would never achieve again. 

Many of the lower guard, those who were helpful but not necessary by any means, had left the palace for the day. The weather permitted it, an ugly overcast of several shades of gray. Luckily, there was no snow, no way to illuminate the vampire’s skin to any degree. They had been told to spread out, stay unnoticed amongst the crowds. Rather than donning their traditional cape and hood persona, they had traded them more “modern” clothes. For some of the eldest vampires, these clothes felt odder than any kind of stares would feel. 

The girl in the car focused on the way in which the road felt beneath her feet again. Step after dreadful step, she watched as any traces of daylight disappeared as they walked into the castle. Despite how much she was looking around, she appeared to miss the glances that her two vampires continued to throw each other. They were terrified for her mental state. Never had they seen her so... _ dejected. _

Ellia forced her eyes to take in every single sight. From the artwork that covered every square inch of the wall, the splashes of ivy greens and deep maroons that seemed to find their way into every photograph. It was impossible to miss all of the portraits, the men who she assumed were Demetri and Felix’s “Masters”, the women that sat beneath them she interpreted to be their mates. What she was to Demetri, she believed. The centerpieces that were laid out on each table, not a spec of dust anywhere near them. How cold the cobblestone looked, its gray color dulling out every other aspect of this grand place. She was curious to as if any other part of the castle looked any happier, or if they lived in such dullness every day for the rest of eternity.

To be honest, she hadn’t realized that Demetri had been talking to her. She had continued to follow their lead, winding through different hallways of this palace before she had ran right into his side. Her eyes looked up to him, feeling helpless. There truly was no turning back now. All the bravery that she had felt when she had adopted this idea in the first place long gone. How could anyone stare death in the face and not be terrified? 

Demetri’s words went right through her ear and out the other side. But she pretended to understand, at the very least. It was all she could do at this moment.

Before she knew it, the doors in front of her were opened wide, and she was walking without even processing it. Then, there was a man moving towards her. One she had recognized from the portraits hanging outside, the one with the ivory-colored skin and the jet black hair that reached past his shoulders. Was this real life? 

He moved like he was floating, like the deliberate steps of a teenager sneaking back into the house in the early hours of the morning. But his actions were quicker: he was to the girl in a meer moment's notice, his eyes never ceasing from her face. He felt it. She felt it. This was different from his other encounters with humans. For once not looking for a midday snack. He had very rarely ever stared at a human unless he was about to devour their blood. It reminded him of Isabella, oh how naive that girl had been. It had been several years since he had last seen their face. Although he was not partially looking forward to seeing them again. Just thinking about it had made his nonexistent blood boil. 

Without warning, he snatched the human’s hand up, his eyes finally shutting. Those beady red eyes no longer boring into her soul. The soul that he once possessed. Now, although, it felt more like he was stirring  _ inside of her, _ if that made any sense. There was an odd prodding feeling, one that made the girl’s neck twitch ever so slightly, making her head start to feel light. So she focused on her other senses, working slowly through the others. Anything in a sad, pathetic attempt to keep her body upright and not passed out on the cold marble beneath her feet. 

His hand felt colder than Demetri ever did, although she knew that was not the case. His whole demeanor, when she thought about it, was chilly. Perfectly fit for the traditional vampire description, the ones that she read over and over about. The translucent skin, much lighter than the brute or tracker. His hair was much longer than theirs too. She assumed her companions had been shorter due to their human lifestyle. Perhaps Aro never worked a day in his life, it appeared. It smelled rather odd in this room as well. Metallic, perhaps, although the present scent of bleach was much more clear. Her eyes surveyed the room, working through the faces. More pathetic attempts to hold onto any last memories that she might be making. She still had no idea where this would end, and she did not think that Demetri or Felix had any better ideas. 

Aro, that who was in front of her. Two other men sat higher than the rest of them, their thrones shining within the chandelier light area. One was blonde, she vaguely remembered his name as Caius. Demetri described him as rude, brooding, and quick-tongued. He intimated her to her very core, to say the least. Marcus was next, that name she remembered much better than the others. His story, although she only had bits and pieces, rang clear within her brain. He served as a lesson, one that she did not want to repeat. 

There were a male and a female that stood directly next to each other, their similarities appearing more obvious than the others. Siblings, more than likely, or something of the sort. They stood beneath the most powerful three men but appeared to matter nearly just as much as they did. Their presence was powerful, commanding attention.

There was one last female, her hair deep brown and her smug smile clear from miles away. She was beautiful, probably as beautiful as vampires could become, Ellia imagined. She had never heard anything about these other vampires and had to remind herself that those trivial facts did not matter right now. All that mattered was Aro in front of her.

Right, Aro. His eyes still shut in front of her, her hand still firmly clasped in his grasp. How much longer would they sit here for? That prodding feeling never left the temples of her head. 

But then, as quickly as they had closed to the world, his eyes opened. Had it really been that short of a time, or was it rather years off her lifespan? Initially, his burning red eyes stared intently at Ellia, twitching back and forth as he analyzed her facial features. Her skin felt as though it was burning, as though those bright red orbs had the ability to light her on fire. Maybe in this situation, that wouldn't be the worst thing to happen. This was different than waiting for a final exam grade back, different than having to face your mother after missing curfew, more deadly than the gaslighting of a toxic significant other. No. This was judgment day. In the weeks before coming to this moment, it was near all the girl had thought about. And now she was here.

She hardly registered the words that came out of the eldest vampire’s mouth, the one that was lingering around in the background. Marcus, she reminded herself again. Felix said he was the calmest and by far the saddest during the plane ride. Those words simply echoed what Demetri had told her as well. This poor, poor man. Cursed to the existence of nothingness and emptiness, to a place where he would be unlikely to feel any emotion besides sadness and regret. Regret for how he could have saved his lover. Regret for how much he took that life for granted. Regret for becoming this damned thing in the first place. 

The girl wondered how much was truly known about his lover’s passing. It always felt as though there was more lying beneath the surface. Her desire to know everything about everything appeared to flutter to the surface for a moment. Just a single fleeting moment. Perhaps one day she would figure it all out.

Her brain was forced back to the current moment. The eldest man speaking. Telling Caius to settle for just a few moments, to allow their brother to speak. Aro was still staring into her face, eyes going back and forth, back and forth. Over and over again, as if he would find something new within those eyes. It was impossible to not feel self-conscious or insecure, the Master of the entire vampire world analyzing her features. What did he think of her? Was he analyzing her emotions, the same way that Demetri loved to try and do? She had no reason for the way in which she felt, only that she felt everything as if it were all ramped up to level one hundred. 

Aro’s words, once they were spoken, were not aimed towards the human, no matter how  _ inviting _ her scent was. His eyes remained on hers, but his voice floated to Demetri, standing directly at her right side. Her brain hardly processed anything, this entire situation felt unreal. But, nevertheless, Aro moved to Demetri, then Felix, to snatch both of their hands up as well. Those beating red eyes, however, never left Ellia. Staring into her soul as if he knew every single thought that had come upon her mind. Suddenly nineteen years of memories felt like a lifetime. A lifetime reduced to several seconds, that was. 

An instant later he was back to the girl again, asking questions upon question. She answered with little hesitation, still unable to break eye contact besides for her milliseconds of blinking. Her body stiff as a board, hands barely twitching as they stilled next to her side. Statue-like, in a way. She was unable to process if this period of question-asking was taking hours or moments. Probably mere seconds, considering the speed in which the both of them spoke. Ellia stumbled over her sentences several times over, but for once, the blush never rose to her face. That dejection sense was still lingering about, but the majority of the anxiety had settled. Either that or she had simply gotten used to the way it sat, pooling within her stomach. It reminded her of those summer nights, just much, much worse.

For once, her emotions, although as strong as they could have possibly been, felt as though they no longer belonged to her. Dejection. This entire day, truly, she felt as a spectator would, the omniscient narrator that simply observed and recorded. Her emotions were no longer her own, they were everyone's around her. A constant projection of her inner workings. Felix felt it, Demetri felt it. Aro felt it. They all did. 

The three Masters only stared at her for a little while longer, although Caius eyes kept floating back to Aro. The darker haired vampire hummed a little to himself, the fainest traces of a smile playing around his lips. His head tiled from one side to the next, as he took the human's hand again. Not closing his eyes this time, simply holding the girls hand. Gentle and delicate, as if she was a doll. He hummed just once more before finally letting her go. 

Aro wandered back to his throne, the other two brothers making their way to his sides. Wandering was not quite a precise enough word for his motions. As he did earlier, he floated in a way, his cape only adding to the mysterious nature of his being. For once, though, as Aro made his way back, Ellia breathed. No longer were those eyes staring directly into her. Even if it was for a meager moment. She allowed herself to relax, just for half a second. Her body could not hold herself up much longer under all of this stress. 

The three men discussed amongst themselves, almost as if no one else was present in the room. It was obvious that they never cared enough about boundaries or secrecy in the slightest. Marcus, truly, was the only one that attempted to conceal any kind of emotion. She wondered how much he really had a choice in that matter. For the human, their voices were quieter, she only heard mumbles here and there. The vampires in the room had no problem understanding every word, their consequences, and their future. Judgment day. Judgment day. Judgment day. The words repeated in Ellia’s head, on a constant track. Her current most replayed song. The most occupied thought. What were they going to do with her? Then, he spoke. The most proper of all those in the room, the most obvious vampire. The palest, the scariest, the deadliest. 

His words were spoken, aimed at the female, her hands wringing themselves in front of her body. He had asked herself to step forward, away from her male counterpart. Her feelings, in this instant, slowly started to return to her own being. No longer was she a narrator, she was the main character. With this, however, came the ever-present anxiety. She had told herself to keep her nerves in check, but without Demetri presently at her side, she had no method of calming it. The anxiety pooled before he announced his plans. Pooled, and pooled, and pooled. Although she was drowning in her own mind. Would she ever fucking get used to this feeling?

Aro interrupted the gears turning in her brain. “Perhaps she should meet the Cullen’s, then, Jasper in particular. That may do her well.” Were the final words Aro gave before gesturing Demetri and his lover out of the throne room. 

All she could do was give Demetri a puzzling look before he took her hand and lead her swiftly out of the throne room. 


End file.
